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I am a young, writer in my twenties; I'm married and have a one-year-old and am thinking about moving to Raleigh for a change of scenery. We currently live in Delaware which is about 4 hours from New York, 45 minutes from Philly, 3 hours from Baltimore. We live in a middle-class area, but want to move for warmer weather and a better housing market. My husband and I are an interracial couple (I'm black; he's Puerto Rican) that love culture and doing different things (which was very abundant in the north). Based on different websites, Raleigh is a great place to live, but I would like to know if it's everything its cracked up to be.
My sister lived in Winston-Salem for 4 years and absolutely hated it because the vibe was so different from the North. She frequented Raleigh and thought it wasn't very good...however, my sister can be kind of mean so I don't want to take it from her point of view. I do worry about some of the stereotypes of the south because I am a 'Yankee', but don't want to be treated like one.
Basically, I would like to know about the culture, diversity and amount of people of color. Is it racist down there? Is the civil war called the "northern aggression." I'm sorry, but I used to go to South Carolina every summer and people acted like the civil war wasn't over, it was just on pause. Where are the family friendly areas (We are looking to spend about 300-350K for a house) that are close to, but outside of the city but still close to shops and boutiques.
How is the music and style? I'm sure I'm not going to get to enjoy New York/Philly music/style, but there is a certain level of style? I only ask because in South Carolina, I wore skinny jeans and people acted like I was naked. I felt so out of place. Are there young families? If so, what areas would be best to visit? Also, what about bugs? My sister said there was a bad roach and squirrel problem. Is it really bad?
I am a very liberal person that believes in 'live and let live'. I envision Raleigh as this oasis of diverse, middle-class people that indulge in culture, while still having a down home southern feel. Is it really that way or am I just dreaming?
I think you may be expecting too much from the area. However, I don't think your expectations (if properly tempered) are too far out of the realm of possibility.
First, let me begin by saying that this place (Raleigh and the Triangle area in general) might be generally described as a bit of an oasis, but it's not a big city. You will likely miss being near a larger city.
It IS, however, a good place to raise a family. It is a nice mixture of progressive and "down home" charm.
Yes. There is racism here. There is racism in Delaware. And every other city you've mentioned.
You'd be more likely to find those "the South will rise again" types in more rural areas than here in the Triangle, but that doesn't mean they're entirely nonexistent.
You will also find transplants. Many of them. If you're moving here to get away from people from up North? Don't bother. They're here. In great numbers. If that appeals to you? Add that to the plus column.
You can find decent housing here in your price range. No worries there.
I dunno if you'll find a wide variety of boutiques for shopping. People who move here from larger cities frequently complain about the lack of shopping options beyond malls and the like. Depends on your requirements there.
People here are not surprised by trendy clothing, not that I've ever noticed. Again? Lots of transplants. Also? College town.
You should come visit. Don't take anyone else's word for it. You're the only one who will know whether or not the vibe is to your liking.
Oh. Almost forgot. We have plenty of bugs. And squirrels. How many you encounter will vary by neighborhood. How many trees you have, proximity to water, etc.
And I cannot address the music scene as you didn't indicate what type(s) of music you enjoy.
Yes there are tons of bugs including roaches, and also tons of squirrels (which are not bugs :P). Please know this city is not city in the sense of Atlanta, Philly, Baltimore, etc., but more sprawling suburbs with small downtowns. As far as Raleigh having it's own style, I don't think it does, really... and I like that because I can wear what I want without feeling like I have to look like everyone else! But I think your skinny jeans would fit in here. There is a decent amount of shopping, but not many boutiques. I would say the area is not racist for the most part, though there are always a few bad eggs.
I am a young, writer in my twenties; I'm married and have a one-year-old and am thinking about moving to Raleigh for a change of scenery. We currently live in Delaware which is about 4 hours from New York, 45 minutes from Philly, 3 hours from Baltimore. We live in a middle-class area, but want to move for warmer weather and a better housing market. My husband and I are an interracial couple (I'm black; he's Puerto Rican) that love culture and doing different things (which was very abundant in the north). Based on different websites, Raleigh is a great place to live, but I would like to know if it's everything its cracked up to be.
My sister lived in Winston-Salem for 4 years and absolutely hated it because the vibe was so different from the North. She frequented Raleigh and thought it wasn't very good...however, my sister can be kind of mean so I don't want to take it from her point of view. I do worry about some of the stereotypes of the south because I am a 'Yankee', but don't want to be treated like one.
Basically, I would like to know about the culture, diversity and amount of people of color. Is it racist down there? Is the civil war called the "northern aggression." I'm sorry, but I used to go to South Carolina every summer and people acted like the civil war wasn't over, it was just on pause. Where are the family friendly areas (We are looking to spend about 300-350K for a house) that are close to, but outside of the city but still close to shops and boutiques.
How is the music and style? I'm sure I'm not going to get to enjoy New York/Philly music/style, but there is a certain level of style? I only ask because in South Carolina, I wore skinny jeans and people acted like I was naked. I felt so out of place. Are there young families? If so, what areas would be best to visit? Also, what about bugs? My sister said there was a bad roach and squirrel problem. Is it really bad?
I am a very liberal person that believes in 'live and let live'. I envision Raleigh as this oasis of diverse, middle-class people that indulge in culture, while still having a down home southern feel. Is it really that way or am I just dreaming?
cajosor, I don't think your view from a distance of Raleigh (and the Triangle region in general) is too far off. No place is perfect, and Raleigh and the Triangle certainly have their strengths and weaknesses, but on the whole I think it's a great area where I and many other people enjoy living, and you might, too. As the previous posters mentioned, visiting to spend some time and scout out the area before you move is a good idea, but even that may not give you a perfect sense of what to expect. To me, Raleigh and the Triangle are the kind of place that isn't necessarily all that impressive at first or if you spend only a few days here, but really grows on you once you spend months or years here. That's because it's an area with subtle appeal, but it's definitely not superficially spectacular. There aren't big tourist attractions or overwhelming natural beauty or famous landmarks like some cities have. But it's just a really nice place with a lot of diversity and opportunity and sneaky charm for a city its size.
As the previous posters mentioned, Raleigh (and Durham and Chapel Hill—"The Triangle") is a much, much, much smaller, less dense, and less urban city than New York, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Atlanta, etc., and in fact, people from those places often don't view Raleigh as a "city" at all. That's not exactly fair, since the area around downtown Raleigh and the older, inner part of the city Inside the Beltline is a fairly decent little urban core, but it is quite small, and a far cry from those big Northern cities. Whether that's good or bad depends on your point of view, but it is worth emphasizing. There certainly are decent "shops and boutiques" in the Triangle, but again, far fewer than in the bigger cities up North. Style-wise, the area tends towards being pretty suburban/preppy/college-oriented, due to the demographics, but it is truly diverse enough and openminded enough that there really is something for everyone in that regard, and I think it's very unlikely that you'd ever encounter the attitudes you mentioned from South Carolina, no matter what you wear.
Once again, the range of activities and "things to do" is much smaller here than in the big cities, but there's still plenty to do. I always find plenty of things to occupy my free time, whether it's going out to eat, going to one of the many free or cheap outdoor festivals, going to live music or theater, getting involved with volunteer political or service organizations, or simply going for a walk, drive, or bike ride around various parts of Raleigh, Durham, or Chapel Hill. And if you ever get tired of the Triangle itself, there's beautiful countryside that's easily accessible in all four directions (it tends to be hilly and wooded to the north and west of here, and flatter and more agricultural to the south and east) where you can go hiking, camping, canoeing, or just enjoy the scenery. And then another nice thing about the Triangle is that it's only 2 to 5 hours to the coast (depending on which beach you prefer), 3 to 5 hours to the Appalachian Mountains, 2½ hours to Charlotte, 4½ hours to DC, 7 hours to Atlanta, 8 hours to Philly (although I've done it in significantly less if you time it to minimize traffic), etc., so between activities in the area and short trips outside the area, I think you'd keep busy.
Culturally, I think you'd like it here. I'm not sure what specifically your sister disliked about the "vibe" in Winston-Salem, but for better or worse, Raleigh and the Triangle is even less Southern than Winston is, so there would be even less culture shock here than there. Such a high percentage of the people in Raleigh and the Triangle have come from other parts of the country or other parts of the world that in many ways it's really not all that Southern any more. In fact, some of the old-time native North Carolinians grumble at times about the lack of Southern-ness in modern day Raleigh. Actually, there are still remnants of Raleigh's traditional Southern roots in evidence here, especially as you get further out into the country, but you won't find much of the "war of Northern aggression" attitude or other negative Southern stereotypes in the Triangle itself. As the previous posters mentioned, there's racism everywhere (including up North), so I'm sure you could find it here, too. But in general one of my favorite things about Raleigh and the Triangle is that people of different races and ethnicities tend to get along really well, much better (in my experience) than in the big cities up North. I think there's also noticeably less racial segregation here; there are parts of the city that are predominantly white, black, or Hispanic, but they're hardly ever exclusively one race or another, as often happens up North, and for the most part in stores and other public places you tend to see people of all races mixing together more-or-less harmoniously. Overall, if you're "a very liberal person that believes in 'live and let live'" and envisions Raleigh "as this oasis of diverse, middle-class people that indulge in culture, while still having a down home southern feel" then you should be fine, since while that definitely does not describe everyone here, you'll find plenty of likeminded people.
The climate here is a bit warmer than in New York/Philly/Baltimore, so naturally there are more bugs of all kinds, including cockroaches. But I don't think it's too bad or unmanageable, and it's certainly not like Florida or the Gulf Coast in that respect. I'm not sure what your sister meant by a "squirrel problem," but there are a lot of squirrels here, although to me not noticeably more than up North. You asked about "family-friendly areas" in Raleigh, but really, pretty much the whole area is quite family-friendly. There are literally only a few blocks of Raleigh (and a little larger part of Durham) that are rough enough that I wouldn't want to raise a family there, but otherwise the entire city and region seems to me like good places for a family to live, and you'll find other young families with kids and kid activities virtually everywhere. You also mentioned wanting to be "close to, but outside of the city," but considering that in Raleigh the "city" isn't really very urban by the standards of the Northeast, I would encourage you to at least consider living within the city of Raleigh. Being a writer, do you need to be near an office or any particular place, or are your location options wide open? How about your husband? Where will he be working? That would be a factor to consider in deciding what part of the Triangle to live in. In any case, your $300-$350K price range budget will be plenty in the current housing market to give you lots of good choices.
i think your biggest concern seems to be the fear of culture shock and diversity of race, although diversity of race will never be a problem in this area due to the density of colleges in the triangle, you will find more culture in the downtown parts of durham and chapel hill rather than raleigh. i know people may disagree with me on that one, but it just seems in the past couple of years that durham has just come into its own and really cleaned up and has become a place of enjoyment for a lot of people. they are now starting to renovate a lot of the old warehouses that are located in downtown raleigh into loft apartment buildings, clothing boutiques, restaurants, and coffee houses. in the area these are typically known as warehouse districts and durham is actually revamping theirs, raleigh is just letting theirs sit and it feels very dead in those areas of downtown raleigh.
although north carolina is a southern state and was part of the confederacy, it has differentiated itself from states like georgia and south carolina in that we are actually moving forward and becoming more aware of the culture diversity. north carolina is known as "the good carolina" for a reason, and thats because we do not have the amount of racism here like you find in other southern states. granted every state has its fair share of racism, it just seems to be becoming less and less of an issue in our state as a whole.
one thing you may notice about the climate here is the humidity, it makes the hottest days just seem even hotter. that would be my only complaint about living here. the bugs are dependent on, like others have mentioned, the season and your location to the woods, water, and the further in the country you get the more bugs there are naturally. i live in the brier creek area of raleigh and we hardly ever see bugs in our house, so it just all depends on your location.
but the one thing that i absolutely love about the area, and this sets it apart from every city you've mentioned above, there are hardly ever any traffic issues to deal with.
As a native of NC who moved north, I'm not sure it would work for you. The first thing you mention is proximity to all the East Coast corridor cities; that is a nice thing that I've enjoyed after moving to Maryland, and you would miss it in NC.
While the Triangle (Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill) doesn't have a lot of racism and certainly being a multi-racial couple isn't an issue, I have heard that it is hard to be a non-Mexican Hispanic in the Triangle, particularly if it bothers your husband to be mistaken for Mexican regularly. There is not a significant Puerto Rican community in NC compared to the size of ones in the Northeast.
But that said, NC is nothing at all like SC, and Raleigh is not like Winston-Salem (unless you are talking about squirrels, roaches, and mosquitos). I'll leave it at that as others have given longer descriptions of the Triangle already. Throw out any assumptions based on your SC experience and your sister's Winston-Salem experience and start again and visit.
I am a young, writer in my twenties; I'm married and have a one-year-old and am thinking about moving to Raleigh for a change of scenery. We currently live in Delaware which is about 4 hours from New York, 45 minutes from Philly, 3 hours from Baltimore. We live in a middle-class area, but want to move for warmer weather and a better housing market. My husband and I are an interracial couple (I'm black; he's Puerto Rican) that love culture and doing different things (which was very abundant in the north). Based on different websites, Raleigh is a great place to live, but I would like to know if it's everything its cracked up to be.
My sister lived in Winston-Salem for 4 years and absolutely hated it because the vibe was so different from the North. She frequented Raleigh and thought it wasn't very good...however, my sister can be kind of mean so I don't want to take it from her point of view. I do worry about some of the stereotypes of the south because I am a 'Yankee', but don't want to be treated like one.
Basically, I would like to know about the culture, diversity and amount of people of color. Is it racist down there? Is the civil war called the "northern aggression." I'm sorry, but I used to go to South Carolina every summer and people acted like the civil war wasn't over, it was just on pause. Where are the family friendly areas (We are looking to spend about 300-350K for a house) that are close to, but outside of the city but still close to shops and boutiques.
How is the music and style? I'm sure I'm not going to get to enjoy New York/Philly music/style, but there is a certain level of style? I only ask because in South Carolina, I wore skinny jeans and people acted like I was naked. I felt so out of place. Are there young families? If so, what areas would be best to visit? Also, what about bugs? My sister said there was a bad roach and squirrel problem. Is it really bad?
I am a very liberal person that believes in 'live and let live'. I envision Raleigh as this oasis of diverse, middle-class people that indulge in culture, while still having a down home southern feel. Is it really that way or am I just dreaming?
It's very doubtful you will ever run into any racial issues here more than you would anywhere. People are proud of the south and should be. It's very nice here with rich history. Being proud of the south has zero to do with the civil war for most people. With that said I think you may think there is more to this area than there is. Just think of a very nice suburb from any nice place in the country and that's what you will find this area to be made up of. It's mostly suburban living with small pockets of non suburban things to do. It's not much more than that. It's a very pleasant place to be but certainly not a cultural oasis that comes to mind when thinking of bigger cities.
I don't think you'll experience any racial problems here. But from reading your post, it seems to me that your expectations are not in line with the reality of this place. I've lived in and near large cities in different parts of the country, and living here is nothing like living near the large cities to which you have access. Having lived with close access to Chicago, Seattle, Portland, New Orleans and Boston, I can assure you that living here is way different.
Maybe the truth lies somewhere between your vision of this place and your sister's experience as she explained to you.
And there are plenty of bugs here. It's a real pain to have to deal with them, all kinds.
I don't think you'll experience any racial problems here. But from reading your post, it seems to me that your expectations are not in line with the reality of this place. I've lived in and near large cities in different parts of the country, and living here is nothing like living near the large cities to which you have access. Having lived with close access to Chicago, Seattle, Portland, New Orleans and Boston, I can assure you that living here is way different.
What "expectations" did the OP express that you think are specifically not in line with the reality of the Triangle? From my reading of the original post, the only expectations I see her mentioning are:
warmer weather - clearly true
better housing market - debatable, but certainly their $300,000 - $350,000 budget will go a lot farther here than there
opportunities to "love culture" and do "different things" - clearly much fewer opportunities for culture and activities than bigger cities, but I think the Triangle is pretty good in these respects for a city its size
diverse and racially tolerant - certainly true
family-friendly - obviously true
"close to shops and boutiques" - potentially the OP's biggest disappointment with the Triangle, since there are far, far fewer than in bigger cities, but still not too bad considering the region's size and age, and will only improve in the future
"not going to get to enjoy New York/Philly music/style" but "a certain level of style" - that's entirely a matter of opinion, but I would say that that's true, albeit nowhere close to the Northeast
presence of young families - clearly there's plenty of them here
an "oasis of diverse, middle-class people that indulge in culture" - calling it an "oasis" is definitely a stretch, but otherwise I would say that that's reasonably true
"still having a down home southern feel" - probably true, although this one could actually be surprisingly difficult, since depending on where in Raleigh or the Triangle you go, there isn't necessarily a whole lot of "down home southern feel" left in parts of the region
these days.
Reading the original post, those are the only expectations that I see, and beyond that, cajosor is simply looking for information. Do you think those expectations are not in line with the reality of Triangle? I think they mostly are. Obviously, the Triangle is not very much like Chicago, Seattle, or Boston in terms of culture and urbanness, but it didn't seem to me that the OP was expecting it to be. Clearly, if she and her husband wanted to go to a place like Chicago, Seattle, or Boston, she wouldn't be looking at Raleigh.
Last edited by tompope; 07-15-2012 at 11:53 AM..
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