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There is, per this point in time that I am starting this new thread, an ongoing active thread in C-D's HOME forum whiich has the thread title "How old were you when you moved out of your parents house?". I could have posted this question in there (in the HOME Forum) or I could have chosen to post it as a new thread in the NON-ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS Forum. In the end, I deemed it best to post this question as the start of a new thread altogether yet in the PSYCHOLOGY Forum (for my question might have risked being deemed as "hijacking" the exact thrust of the C-D thread in the HOME Forum which is titled ""How old were you when you moved out of your parents house?". So my more-fleshed-out and nuanced question which starts this new thread is:
Do any of you know now or have ever known or else have indirectly known about ANYONE who is or was already well into adulthood (at least in their mid- to upper-30s or their 40's or 50s or even their upper-middle-aged or near-senior years or even within their senior years -- or even if they are deceased now but you had known them or known of them) who spend or had spent their ENTIRE life span living under the same roof as their parent(s) or legal guardian(s)? Never ever having moved out on their own?
The question is being asked as a merely intellectually curious question. I tend to find it at least a bit or more than a bit odd, standout-ish, or maybe even somewhat curious or puzzling in my own mind (though I wouldn't ever express it to them personally, as I am not one who aims to belittle or reduce someone as a person for how life has transpired for him/her) that ANY male or female would never ever feel the inner compulsion, desire or drive to want to be out from under the wings of their parents' or guardians' household . . . even though he or she is well into adulthood (i.e, beyond the young adult years and at least in the near-proximity of their middle years and maybe even upper-middle or even senior years) and yet willfully chooses or had chosen to spend this one and only life they have been given without EVER being out from under their parents' or guardians' auspices. I mean, even if one is or has been perennially tight in funds or not a well-earning person income-wise, one can always choose to live with however many roommates or housemates instead of with one's parent(s) or legal guardian(s). It is merely interesting (curious and a bit puzzling) to me that there are those of our fellow adult humans who would not EVER feel naturally inclined to take on the role of an independent adult if they are otherwise capable of it (that is, if they are not otherwise developmentally or physically impaired or challenged and hence needing to live with those who are able and willing to function as caretakers for them).
IMPORTANT NOTE: Once again, I am not thinking of anyone who is developmentally (mentally, psychologically, or neurologically)-challenged nor physically-challenged in a way that makes them need to be taken care of and attended to by a responsible party and hence their parent(s) or legal guardian(s) fill this role for them. I am ONLY talking about individuals who are not as just described (re: they are otherwise "normal"-functioning capable persons) yet they still willfully choose (or had in the past willfully chosen . . . if they are deceased now) to stay under the roof and auspices of their parent(s) or legal guardian(s).
How about it? What can you share here about this interesting psychological aspect that characterizes however many of our fellow humans?
Well, I don't know where this person is now, but to my knowledge he never left home and never held a job. This person is a baby boomer, about my age. I do not know of any other details about his adult life, however. So, yes.
I also have known of another, older person who was quite sickly, who never left the family home.
In both cases, the only contributing factor that I know of is that the moms were on the smothering side. But I personally don't know of details. And I can't characterize any of the people in any more detail.
Now that I think about it, I had an elementary teacher who lived in her family home as an adult. When I think about it, I've known several people older and my age who did this.
Yes. Two, actually, both relatives, but one was my mother's sister, who was mentally retarded and physically disabled (cerebral palsy), so that's not what you are looking for.
The other was my father's "Cousin Bobby". He had a job, but he lived with his parents and then his widowed mother until he died in his mid-50s. One story was that he was going with a coworker on a week-long conference. When the coworker came to pick him up, his mother said, "Now make sure Bobby takes a bath and remind him to change his underwear each day." The coworker was amused, thinking this was an eccentric old woman, but after a couple of days of sharing a hotel room, he realized he did indeed have to remind Bobby to bathe and change his clothing.
Anyway, he was still living with his mother when he died. Heart attack. He weighed over 400 pounds.
I believe I still have a few aunts living with my grandmother. However, they are Chinese, living in Taiwan, where that kind of thing is more culturally normal. They have jobs and such, they just live with "extended family" as normally as we do here with "nuclear family". Also, I think they have a vacation house or two, which they share.
Well, I don't know where this person is now, but to my knowledge he never left home and never held a job. This person is a baby boomer, about my age. I do not know of any other details about his adult life, however. So, yes.
I also have known of another, older person who was quite sickly, who never left the family home.
In both cases, the only contributing factor that I know of is that the moms were on the smothering side. But I personally don't know of details. And I can't characterize any of the people in any more detail.
Now that I think about it, I had an elementary teacher who lived in her family home as an adult. When I think about it, I've known several people older and my age who did this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801
Yes. Two, actually, both relatives, but one was my mother's sister, who was mentally retarded and physically disabled (cerebral palsy), so that's not what you are looking for.
The other was my father's "Cousin Bobby". He had a job, but he lived with his parents and then his widowed mother until he died in his mid-50s. One story was that he was going with a coworker on a week-long conference. When the coworker came to pick him up, his mother said, "Now make sure Bobby takes a bath and remind him to change his underwear each day." The coworker was amused, thinking this was an eccentric old woman, but after a couple of days of sharing a hotel room, he realized he did indeed have to remind Bobby to bathe and change his clothing.
Anyway, he was still living with his mother when he died. Heart attack. He weighed over 400 pounds.
What does it do to one's romantic life or hopes (unless they simply don't aspire to be in love and therefore in a relationship nor to marry) that the other person whom they are with or aspire to be with has their own place to call home or even shared housing with however many roommates or housemates (whether one other sharer or more-than-one other sharer) and yet they themselves perennially live with their parents . . . and, once again, they are otherwise "normal"-functioning (that is, not mentally or psychologically nor neurologically challenged nor physically challenged or chronically sickly)? Does any other autonomous adult want to get involved and intertwined with someone in a relationship who has never, ever moved out from under the wings and auspices of their parents and they are now well into adulthood (i.e., beyond the young adult years)? How must it make such an individual feel as a person in comparing themselves to so many of their own age cohort in the world-at-large who have moved on long ago (or long enough ago) from being under the auspices of their parents' household?
If it is a matter of FINANCIAL or ECONOMIC issues that drives some or even many of them to live in their parents' home as a way-of-life: I would rather live in a small or even tiny room in a rooming or boarding house or to share a household with one or more persons or to have a romantic partner who lives together with me and splits the expenses with me or to otherwise be married rather than to live with my parents beyond a certain early point in life. Perhaps I'd even choose to be homeless rather than to live with my parents as a way-of-life (though I would accept to live with a parent to take care of them if they became too sickly or infirmed or developed dementia or Alzheimers or other serious condition. . . though, at that stage, it would likely be in their own best interest and welfare to be living in an assisted living facility or in a nursing home so as to have a staff of professionals to always be there 24/7 to attend to their medical and other special needs). Not that I can live anymore with one or both of my parents anymore anyway (for I am a senior now in my early 60s per this writing and my parents are both deceased). But that, in summary, is how much I'd resist any inclination or leaning to always being under the watch of my parents. What does it do to one's sense of personal dignity and self-esteem/self-image to be seen like this by ALL others (even if no one ever comments to them about it al all)? Do they simply not care?
Yes. A friend from high school just bought a house at 42 years old (1year ago) and moved out of her parents' house. Has a master's degree in psychology, works, healthy, parents are healthy. Just finally gave up on the Prince Charming "story", I guess?
Off the top of my head I know three adult males past their mid 40's who never moved out. All three don't have jobs and to my knowledge never held a full time one in their life. In my casual conversations with people I deal with work there seems to be a lot more but almost all of them don't have jobs and don't seem capable of holding down one.
I do not know any single older professionals living at home.
I know a lady who never left home because she took care of her ailing parents. When they died she inherited the house. When she died, her niece inherited the house.
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