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I'm not sure where the pressure comes from exactly. The media, peers, families, our own minds?
I do know that I grew up with two skinny sisters as the non-skinny sisters. I wasn't extremely overweight, I just wasn't thin. At times I was labeled "chubby". My father used to make "jokes" here and there about my mothers weight. She was nowhere near obese, but she wasn't "thin" either.
I remember her dieting, taking diet pills and drinking diet shakes. Always wanting to lose weight.
Somehow, despite all this, I didn't end up with a horrible body image. I believe women are supposed to be all shapes and sized and there are many definitions of beautiful.
Yes, at times I do think it's time to drop a few. I like food, but I think it's important to try having a balanced diet and getting some excercise. Everything in moderation, is pretty much what I believe.
I vowed to raise my children NOT to be obsessed with weight. I didn't make a big deal about food. I tried introducing healthy foods along with treats. My kids were involved in sports, so I knew the were getting enough excercise. They each went through a chubby phase, which I thought was normal. Sadly, a few family members and friends commented and tried to tell them that those types of comments weren't helfpul and I told my children they were just fine and that bodies change and things would turn out as they should, as long as they ate relatively healthy and stayed active. I stayed positive with both of them.
Despite my best efforts, my daughter did go through times when I felt she was FAR too concerned about her weight. She still calls her self "fat" at times and she is nowhere near fat. She's tall and she has a bit of meat on her, but she fluctuates between thin and average at the most.
My son, also had a time when he was referring to himself as "fat". The fattest he's ever been has been chubby and that didn't last long at all. I think they would just go through growth spurts and they would gain some weight right before they grew taller.
Bascially I'm not sure WHY people become obsessed with weight and outer appearance, but I do think it's unfortunate that so many people are so shallow.
So based on the answers so far is it fair to say that the reason for this pressure or influence on women ito look a certain way is not necessarly influenced by men in general but by society in general? What I mean by this is that the goal is to please society and not the male gender?
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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Originally Posted by FromTN2A2
Young girls I understand, grown women...not so much
Once again, grown women not so much. I just can't understand a grown woman complaining about media pressure put on her. Young girls, yes thats why it's important for parents to not conform to everything and be an example to their young daughters.
Yes, the impressionable grown women who still have not mentally graduated from high school. Why then do I hear so much about dieting, having a great bod.etc, and it's not just overweight women who are obsessing over it.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1orlando
So based on the answers so far is it fair to say that the reason for this pressure or influence on women ito look a certain way is not necessarly influenced by men in general but by society in general? What I mean by this is that the goal is to please society and not the male gender?
It's more to please themselves, so people will think more of them. Notice how women always judge/compliment other women on their APPEARANCE? This just feeds it, but it's second nature to them.
No one can put any pressure on you that you don't accept. I feel like women put pressure on themselves.
Agree with you 100%. Any woman who has been in a healthy relationship with a man (friend/boyfriend/husband) would know that it takes a lot more than looks to make a woman interesting. Beauty is just another asset in a list of things that make you attractive & smart women know that. Obssessing over beauty is a turn off. And I dont think women are under more pressure now than ever from media or anywhere else. Its just promoting an image (& products that make you look that way) just like other household products advertised on tv. Do we buy household products based on number of ads we see on tv or use our own judgement to buy something? They can promote what they want but we are smart enough to know what really counts & works in real life.
That said, I think beauty (good skin, shiny hair, nails, athletic body) is a sign of good health & if the media is promoting a healthy image, i think its a very good cause. Striving to be healthy & beautiful is great but obssessing over it all the time is a no-no.
I heard that gay men prefer boyish body types and therefor keep hiring boyish figures within fashion industry. Personally, I think men have been trained to be creatures of ego and repeatedly told that having a "hot" female says a tremendous amount about their success as a "man"....
With that kind of gender programming you get alot of unrealistic, slanted, distorted expectations for both genders. I do not believe men and women are naturally born that different, I think most of it is programming and is a HUGE problem. Men want what is harder to obtain and the majority of women can not starve down to a 0. I have dated alot of men who prefer skinny skinny girls, (like V.S models or skinnier)....Men are easily programmed by the media and apply it to their egos.
So based on the answers so far is it fair to say that the reason for this pressure or influence on women ito look a certain way is not necessarly influenced by men in general but by society in general? What I mean by this is that the goal is to please society and not the male gender?
It's probably different for each person. But I supsect that woman who worry about their outer appearance worry as much about what other women think as they do what men think.
Some women do it for themselves. At least that's what they say. I don't completely doubt women who say that. I try to take people at their word unless they give me a reason not to. But, I know that I do sometimes worry about what other think, and it's hard for me to imagine that a women who is obessed about how she dresses or how much she weighs is only doing it for herself and not because she cares what others think.
I'm not sure about this whole "blame it on society" thing either. It's definitely something worth talking about. At what point to we stop blaming things on society and start expecting people to think for themselves and take responsibility for themselves. For me, it's tough to say.
I know that we are all affected by our surroundings. But, we SHOULD come to a point where we stop blaming our actions/behaviors on our surroundings and experiences.
The biggest problem facing women are other women. Feminism rooted in female competition is why there is this obsession with being pencil thin. If you revert back to our male-dominated roots, you'll see that men preferred women with curves. Consider fashion magazines from generations past. Marilyn Monroe was not a thin woman.
It makes too much sense from an evolutionary point of view.
Yes, there is a huge pressure for women to look a certain way. If your hair or clothing isn't not socially acceptable you can be ostracized or bullied (I have had this happen to me before in my life) then when you get around women they start throwing around compliments and if you are the only one that no one says looks nice then it can make you a bit of a social outcast. I certainly feel a lot of pressure to be the right color, have the right hair and wear the best clothes.
Hilary Clinton was in the news a few months back, and it wasn't because of anything she said or did in a professional capacity. It was because people (solely the media?) were criticizing her for having stringy hair and dressing frumpy and "letting herself go." She was getting so much attention for her appearance that she made an official statement about it. Women get that kind of scrutiny, whearas men in the public eye (Donald Trump, anyone?) don't. People may joke about his hair, but it's not news.
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