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Kids require a ton of cash to house, feed, and educate. I shelled out half a million just for college for my three kids.
What are the benefits? They are not financial. It is all the laughs and good times that we had and still have. My wife and I are home bodies and would not have done one quarter of the things we did unelss we had our kids. Many more trips, more activities, and more parents of other kids met at events. We laugh our asses off when we are together.
If people don't want kids, that is fine. But for me, I could not imagine my life without kids and can say it has been a hell of a lot better than it would have been otherwise. For other people, kids may not be as much fun.
I agree with all of your posts in this thread, hawk (and that's a first. ). I, too, cannot imagine my life without my kids. Some of the best times in my life have been spent with my children--family trips, holidays, cookouts in the backyard, dinner around the table every night. When I try to imagine my life without them it looks very empty.
And now that they're adults they have grown into friends. And that's the real payoff for all of the hard work.
I do want one kid, but only after we have enough financial stability (a house paid off in full, zero debt, at least $250K saved up after all that, both keeping high salary jobs).
That, and I need time to mentally prepare myself to have a throbbing alien embedded inside me growing and growing until it bursts out the genitalia tearing and clawing and hissing and bleeding whilst in screaming agony for 48 hours and be left looking like my innards have been jammed through a woodchipper.
And after all that virtually satanic torment, to be cursed to never be allowed to sleep again without relentlessly piercing shrieks every 15 minutes 24/7 being a fact of life for years to come.
I agree with all of your posts in this thread, hawk (and that's a first. ). I, too, cannot imagine my life without my kids. Some of the best times in my life have been spent with my children--family trips, holidays, cookouts in the backyard, dinner around the table every night. When I try to imagine my life without them it looks very empty.
And now that they're adults they have grown into friends. And that's the real payoff for all of the hard work.
As the mother of teenagers, I am looking forward to the time we can be friends.
I do want one kid, but only after we have enough financial stability (a house paid off in full, zero debt, at least $250K saved up after all that, both keeping high salary jobs).
That, and I need time to mentally prepare myself to have a throbbing alien embedded inside me growing and growing until it bursts out the genitalia tearing and clawing and hissing and bleeding whilst in screaming agony for 48 hours and be left looking like my innards have been jammed through a woodchipper.
And after all that virtually satanic torment, to be cursed to never be allowed to sleep again without relentlessly piercing shrieks every 15 minutes 24/7 being a fact of life for years to come.
There is never a perfect time to have kids, but your worry about the alien embedded in your stomach is not needed. That was an awesome time for me. I loved the feeling of my babies moving around inside me. I felt like that was a special time only mothers get to feel.
I strongly recommend an epidural for the actual birth. I didn't feel any pain, and the recovery was not that bad. Even my friends who had them naturally forgot the pain enough to do it again. Honestly, I have heard other things like kidney stones hurt far worse. The body is made to handle the birth.
As for the crying, it depends on the baby. Mine both slept through the night as soon as I let them. With my first I was so nervous I checked on her every time she made a noise. When I finally slept through that, so did she. My second slept through the night within a week.
It's Easter Sunday, so let's all be thankful that "some people" (who shall remain anonymous) have removed themselves from the gene pool. Something Darwinian and all that.
i do want one kid, but only after we have enough financial stability (a house paid off in full, zero debt, at least $250k saved up after all that, both keeping high salary jobs).
That, and i need time to mentally prepare myself to have a throbbing alien embedded inside me growing and growing until it bursts out the genitalia tearing and clawing and hissing and bleeding whilst in screaming agony for 48 hours and be left looking like my innards have been jammed through a woodchipper. I highly recommend an epidural.
and after all that virtually satanic torment, to be cursed to never be allowed to sleep again without relentlessly piercing shrieks every 15 minutes 24/7 being a fact of life for years to come. You know... kids often take after their parents. If you weren't like that as a child, then your children probably won't be. My dad always tells me children are punishment for being a child.
I don't know a lot people, but the people I am aware of who do not have kids--my Brother is one--regret it later on in life. Im not a fan of feral cat style breeding, but I think it is a real psychological phenomenon that people have regrets about not procreating when they're on in years. Kids might be an inconvenience when you are younger, want to have a "career" and still want to go out and get loaded and stuff, but later when you age/mature a little and your priorities change, stuff the lil demons do will make you very happy and fill you with sort of a feeling of accomplishment seeing all the time you put into being a "good parent" come to fruition. Those tiny little moments over time, make it somewhat rewarding and soul-enriching. Another anecdotal, unscientific observation of childless people is that they are a little less empathetic, for want of a better term, than people who have had to spend a large part of the existence giving and suffering the hardships that parenting brings.
I disagree with this observation completely. I also disagree with those who choose not to have kids regretting it later in life. Not once have I ever had the urge to have kids & I have never regretted that decision. In fact, I am happy with my decision every day whenever I see kids or talk with friends who have kids. No thanks, not for me.
The other day I walk up at 1pm, smoked some refer (legal here) and went to a bar and then just kind of did...whatever. In quiet. No other human demanding my time or energy. Just me. I think "fambly" people secretly envy people like me, they are just too weak to admit it.
Yup, you sound like a real winner that people envy.
I don't know a lot people, but the people I am aware of who do not have kids--my Brother is one--regret it later on in life. Im not a fan of feral cat style breeding, but I think it is a real psychological phenomenon that people have regrets about not procreating when they're on in years. Kids might be an inconvenience when you are younger, want to have a "career" and still want to go out and get loaded and stuff, but later when you age/mature a little and your priorities change, stuff the lil demons do will make you very happy and fill you with sort of a feeling of accomplishment seeing all the time you put into being a "good parent" come to fruition. Those tiny little moments over time, make it somewhat rewarding and soul-enriching. Another anecdotal, unscientific observation of childless people is that they are a little less empathetic, for want of a better term, than people who have had to spend a large part of the existence giving and suffering the hardships that parenting brings.
I disagree. It's kind of insulting, too. Fortunately, most people with kids don't make those sweeping generalizations about childless people.
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). I, too, cannot imagine my life without my kids. Some of the best times in my life have been spent with my children--family trips, holidays, cookouts in the backyard, dinner around the table every night. When I try to imagine my life without them it looks very empty. 
