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until I read the sex offender part, I was going to suggest that you only do an even trade for babysitting. If you watch their kids for an evening, they watch yours in exchange. Parents are allowed to have their own interests and alone time, but it should be an occasional thing. Although some people would like to, it is impossible to live like you aren't a parent after you are. It isn't fair to you, the grandparents or the kids. It isn't fair to the tax payer either, if they are on food stamps. Put your foot down. Either just plain start saying no, and encourage the grandparents to do the same, or have a serious conversation about how often you are willing to help and stick to it.
If they have to start paying for a sitter, maybe they'll think twice about going out so much.
I would stay away from them as much as possible. I can understand your wife taking care of the kids for phys. therapy, but I would draw the line right there.
Enabling them to waste a LOT of money when they have the responsibility of medical bills and other bills, is not a good thing at all. They will eventually lose their house and everything else if they do not take charge of their lives and take care of their business first.
Your relatives need to pay for a babysitter to take care of their progeny while they are off having fun. Not dumping the kids on you. That is just plain wrong.
I do applaud them for not letting their children get in the way of them having a good time when they want to. Not many parents have the nerve to pursue their own lives and interests these days.
20yrsinBranson
easy for you to say. You don't have kids, right? Having a weekly or monthly evening out is one thing. Leaving town w/o the kids multiple weekends in a row is not. They need to take care of their kids.
They should take care of their kids but when the OP takes care of them, at least they are taken care of. Sometimes it's not so much about being dumped on but what happens to the kids otherwise. The kids are innocent in this. Denying them a home away from home could end up hurting them.
They should take care of their kids but when the OP takes care of them, at least they are taken care of. Sometimes it's not so much about being dumped on but what happens to the kids otherwise. The kids are innocent in this. Denying them a home away from home could end up hurting them.
that is true. If they were to hire a babysitter instead and continue to leave town just as often, it could be worse for the kids. Right now the OP is kind of enabling them to overspend, though.
Just tell them you'll no longer be sitting for them except for the physical therapy sessions. Tell your in-laws you'll no longer be helping them when they're babysitting, except in the event of a genuine emergency (Vegas doesn't qualify).
We've had problems along these lines, and we now just say NO. A particular relative has asked us to babysit at odd hours, lied about the reason for the babysitting, left us hanging WAY past the time the little one was supposed to be picked up, asked us to babysit for the most idiotic things... My fav.... The relative in question called up & said she was parked at the post office... asked if one of us could drop what we were doing to drive down to the post office and sit in the car with the little one while she mailed a letter???!!! Come on!
My advice, get everyone on the same page- Just Say No! I would drop everything to help out in an emergency, but for goof-off time? NO. Their lifestyle is their choice, but IMHO if you can't afford to shell out for a sitter, you probably are in no position to afford frequent weekend trips & such.
We've had problems along these lines, and we now just say NO. A particular relative has asked us to babysit at odd hours, lied about the reason for the babysitting, left us hanging WAY past the time the little one was supposed to be picked up, asked us to babysit for the most idiotic things... My fav.... The relative in question called up & said she was parked at the post office... asked if one of us could drop what we were doing to drive down to the post office and sit in the car with the little one while she mailed a letter???!!! Come on!
My advice, get everyone on the same page- Just Say No! I would drop everything to help out in an emergency, but for goof-off time? NO. Their lifestyle is their choice, but IMHO if you can't afford to shell out for a sitter, you probably are in no position to afford frequent weekend trips & such.
I really don't understand what people are thinking!
the OP and his wife are not responsible for these children so trying to put a guilt trip on them is the worst thing to say. Yes we all want to help out our friends and families but they are being taken advantage of and the husband is resenting it. It could verry well cause problems in his marriage and with his family. Do you suppose the wayward parents would be half as willing to step forward should this happen?
We train people how to treat us and the OP and his wife have trained the other parents to walk all over them. This isn't right and I think OP, wife and grandparents should join forces and set some boundaries.
One day these parents will really need some serious help but because they have angered or frustrated everybody else in the family they may find themselves high and dry for babysitters.
They should take care of their kids but when the OP takes care of them, at least they are taken care of. Sometimes it's not so much about being dumped on but what happens to the kids otherwise. The kids are innocent in this. Denying them a home away from home could end up hurting them.
I disagree.
Taking the responsibility of caring for someone else's kids so the parents can be irresponsible does the kids no good. Those parents are who had those children and those parents should take care of them.
Every time others step in to take care of the kids it enables the irresponsible ones to continue to be irresponsible. If they think the kids are going to be taken care of regardless of their actions, they will never stop and grow up themselves.
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