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For the last year, i have been considering moving my child out of state, she is 10 years old, and she does have a relationship with her father, but mostly with her fathers parents. She sees him on occasion, whenever he decides that it is convenient for him to see her on any particular day, usually once or twice a month for a couple of hours, but she spends alot of her time with his parents. We only live about 10 miles from them and her grandmother works at the school she goes to. She hardly ever comes home because her grandmother puts a guilt trip on her, saying who is going to take care of me when you go home, i am going to be lonely, etc. I told them right after Christmas that we were going to be moving at the end of Jan. I do have custody of my daughter and court papers stated that i can choose her place of residence, irregardless of geographical location, but her grandparents are after her father to fight me on moving, so they are going to give him the money to hire a lawyer i think. The reasons i want to move, other than the obvious, is that there are better paying jobs, where as i make 8.00 hr here i can make 15 there, as a cna, right now i live in a 3 bdrm home with my mother, me, my 3 kids, my sister, and her 2 kids, there i will stay in my brothers basement 2 bdrm apartment, alone with my children, be able to support myself and my children, i told them that i would be willing to split roundtrip plane tickets with them for the summer, and at christmas time, but they are not wanting to compromise, if it wasnt for them, her father would say nothing about the move, but they are pushing him to contest it, and i am just stressed out now, and looking for any advice anyone wants to offer. Thanks again, and sorry it is so long winded..
First off I want to say, that I highly doubt that the court is going to rule in his favor just in case he does take you to court. I hope that you have been documenting how often he sees his daughter if not then I suggest you do. By showing the courts that he hasn't been visiting her all that much he doesn't have a leg to stand on in trying to keep you where you currently reside especially if you have a valid reason to move, such as getting a better paying job.
The best thing for you to do though is to seek the advice of an attorney as they would know better than any of us here what the courts may do or not do. I wish you much luck in this.
b31tx - years ago - I faced your same decision - and I moved with my children - about 2,200 miles from 'home'. My divorce/custody papers didn't restrict where I set up my homebase either. In all honesty - it was the BEST thing for myself and the boys, to move that far. My experience won't be popular among non-custodial parents here, but in my situation - my semi-cross country move, separated 'me' from the back and forth of the ex and his family, and kept my kids from being used as pawns. He wasn't visiting when he lived 50 miles from us - and he didn't visit when he lived 2,200 miles from us. The longer distance just allowed 'him' to justify his actions (or lack thereof).
If a move isn't restricted by your custody paperwork, I say you have to do what is best for you and your children/family - and if the ex and/or his parents take issue and want to get the courts involved, you can address that then. You can be helpful by providing them with the names of hotels located near your new home for their future visits, and sending photographs by mail or email as often as you think necessary, and allowing your child to phone them and receive phone calls from them, as often as they like.
A lot of the verbal warfare could be scare tactics - you won't know I guess, until you actually move. As long as you realize, a trip to court, could be costly and may result in you having to return to the area, and involve future restrictions to your physical address until your child has reached the age of 18. For me - it was worth that chance - because I knew he/his family would not act on their verbal threats. Good luck to you and your family.
If your daughter's grandparents were good to her, and truly loved her, then I would lean towards staying put so that she at least had access to them (since her Dad's attention is sporadic). But a grandmother who tries to emotionally manipulate her own granddaughter? She needs that like a hole in the head!
do you have any updates to your post? have you moved or having to stay? My kids father do see them every other weekend but when my girls go to see him all he does is call them names like little b@tch among others and makes them clean house and cook for him, They are 11 and 8. he does very little with them. has paid no support for them in 3 yrs. and if i even ask for a gal of milk, his reply is that he is broke, my husband has a daughter in SC and we would like to move from MO to SC. so ive been searching to find out from other how to do everything. in the divorce we both share legal custody but i have sole physical custody. does not state that i cant move.
I want to move out of state with my daughter. Her father has nothing at all to do with her. He doesn't call, he doesn't request to see her and hasn't seen her in 3 years. I want to move but my question is, can I move out of state? Would he have to come to where ever I may reside to fight me for custody?
I want to move out of state with my daughter. Her father has nothing at all to do with her. He doesn't call, he doesn't request to see her and hasn't seen her in 3 years. I want to move but my question is, can I move out of state? Would he have to come to where ever I may reside to fight me for custody?
You should consult and attorney to request having his rights terminated.
i have a question too.
i left the state where my daughter was born at 2months old (leaving my husband and her father behind to continue working) so i could find a better paying job to be able to provide for her. she is 1 year old now and he has seen her one time (i took her to see him) and he has called 3 times. i told him i was done with him because he could care less about us. at the time i left we agreed he could move as soon as i got a job. he didnt. so my question is can he do anything legally about my taking her out of state when we had an agreement that failed?
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(or lack thereof).
