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Low income families are more likely to spank young children, and the most common reason is because "my daddy spanked me, so I'm spanking too". But that's exactly why it's being viewed as negative. It's become a vicious cycle of abuse that people don't even recognize.
Because they are properly skeptical that the cycle is "vicious". Not all "cycles" (i.e. traditions) are.
I'm not surprised by these "results"...it seems that most of these so called studies have a pre-determined outcome in mind. I got a few spankings as a kid (not many) and I personally don't think back on any of them with sadness or anger. I deserved them, was better behaved because of them...and if anything, I look back on them with a chuckle.
Obviously, there is a line that can be crossed if a parent is unreasonable or out of control...anything is bad in excess. There's a very big difference between an occasional swat on the butt to check a bad attitude and going Joe Jackson on a kid.
I always think it is so much worse to hear a parent publicly berating their children than to spank them. I have heard some really mean things said between parents and their children. For me in my relationship with the afore mentioned ex-husband the hateful words he spoke to me hurt worse than anytime he hit me. Yet noone is doing studies on how being mean through words affects our children.
mgto4: I totally agree that the hands off approach that some parents chose to take can affect some children, after volunteering for 3 yrs in my childrens classes you get a new appreciation about what the lack of discipline does not only in our schools but in society as a whole. You do have out of control kids running the classrooms and homes, because parents have bought into the hype that swatting your child's behind when they are misbehaving is going to damage their psyche. My psyche is just fine, I was spanked but not beaten, people seem to forget there is a distinction between the two.
When Dr. Spock came up with the idea that kids' psyches were going to be damaged by spankings, this is what my grandmother had to say about that, "well if my kid's psyche is in their back pocket then darn right it will get damaged."
My psyche is just fine as well, guess mine wasn't in my back pocket.
When Dr. Spock came up with the idea that kids' psyches were going to be damaged by spankings, this is what my grandmother had to say about that, "well if my kid's psyche is in their back pocket then darn right it will get damaged."
My psyche is just fine as well, guess mine wasn't in my back pocket.
To the question about why they only targeted low income it's explained in the article. Low income families are more likely to spank young children, and the most common reason is because "my daddy spanked me, so I'm spanking too". But that's exactly why it's being viewed as negative. It's become a vicious cycle of abuse that people don't even recognize.
In middle and upper class they have bratty kids that run around and do whatever, but that's not because of lack of spanking; it's because of spoiling. Nobody's saying not to discipline your child, whatever age they may be. But find another way to do it besides striking the kid, because yes, there is a strong possibility they will grow up resenting their parents or being spankers, or abusers. Not a 100% chance. But a strong possibility.
I'd like to see your sources on that.
I've never seen where middle and high income types are more reluctant to discipline their children, although too many may latch onto whatever pop psychology is out there and drugs to control their children because they have the money for all that.
I often see lower income types also refuse to spank a child and instead scream at them at the tops of their lungs, which really doesn't work - maybe the wealthy do that too but have thicker walls and do it privately.
I've never seen where middle and high income types are more reluctant to discipline their children, although too many may latch onto whatever pop psychology is out there and drugs to control their children because they have the money for all that.
I often see lower income types also refuse to spank a child and instead scream at them at the tops of their lungs, which really doesn't work - maybe the wealthy do that too but have thicker walls and do it privately.
In child discipline, as in pretty much everything else, the rich have more options than the poor. If you're rich (or even modestly middle-class), you can take away the Game Boy, confiscate the car keys, or turn off the Instant Messenger. But for families with no Game Boys, no cars, and no Internet access, that whole range of punishments is unavailable.
And from my personal experience that's what they do - take away luxuries as an alternative to spanking. The only part of this I don't agree with is the "modestly middle class" - quite the contrary, I've found that in that narrow realm of folks, race and historical upbringing override the standard logic.
Quote:
Originally Posted by haggardhouseelf
So how many threads do we have going about the whole spanking thing anyway?
Maybe I'll go start one about whether it's better for the kids to have a working mom or stay at home mom...
The other threads are discussions between parents about whether spanking is appropriate, whether someone should spank someone else's kid being bad, whether schools should spank, etc. They all have to do with spanking, but they're totally different topics. This is a news/study about spanking, another topic.
On a side note, your suggestion would probably be a popular thread, because honestly, I don't know that a lot of females understand what their role really should be in the home. Such a thread might actually be quite helpful to some.
And from my personal experience that's what they do - take away luxuries as an alternative to spanking. The only part of this I don't agree with is the "modestly middle class" - quite the contrary, I've found that in that narrow realm of folks, race and historical upbringing override the standard logic.
The other threads are discussions between parents about whether spanking is appropriate, whether someone should spank someone else's kid being bad, whether schools should spank, etc. They all have to do with spanking, but they're totally different topics. This is a news/study about spanking, another topic.
On a side note, your suggestion would probably be a popular thread, because honestly, I don't know that a lot of females understand what their role really should be in the home. Such a thread might actually be quite helpful to some.
You missed the thread where studies showed that spanked kids had a chance of developing spanking fetishes. Of course that study could not explain why people who were not spanked still developed the same fetish.
I think all of these so called studies are just a bunch of gobbely goop and they do not take everything into account in the children's lives when they do them. There is most likely some other forms of abuse or neglect going on with the children they study or the spankings go way beyond actual discipline. I strongly believe that these studies are skewed so the outcome proves what they want it to prove in the first place. Any study on any subject can be skewed to prove most anything possible until another study comes along and skews their findings to prove otherwise. Take eating eggs for example. One study said eggs were unhealthy, then another study said they were fine. So who really knows if eggs are healthy or not.
I was spanked as a child and I spanked mine and we all came out fine! No damage done to us other than to learn to behave. Spanking and abuse are 2 different things.
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