Is this normal during a tantrum?

[malamute]

Originally Posted by Topaz

No one said it was cute but it is completely normal. Children have all sorts of feelings, including angry and violent ones. The goal of parenting is to teach them socially acceptable ways to manage and control those feelings.

I disagree that it's normal. A 5 year old that threatens to dismember his mother? That's the age they start school and by that age, they should already know what's acceptable and what isn't or they most definitely are not ready for school. Wait till he tells the kids at school or the teacher that.

My kids at age 5 would not have said anything close to that, like I said verbal and physical abuse on other family members including pets is not tolerated, not accepted, not seen as completely normal in my home.

Maybe those who believe in lax discipline would have to view this as completely normal behavior from a 5 year old but then there will be more they will likely have to accept as completely normal behavior later down the road.

To me it's a sign of pretty much zero respect, maybe completely normal in a child that does not love nor respect the parent and knows he has no limits. The fact that he behaves fine much of the time only tells me that he's not mentally ill or anything like that which could change the picture, he's a normal kid with an unsual disrespect for the parent and already resorts to abusive language and very violent threats against his own mother.

[malamute]

But again - the OP asked for opinions, you are free to give yours and say why you feel this is completely normal for a 5 year old to do and that you believe the discipline being given is working great, I'm free to give mine and say I don't find this completely normal and that I don't believe the discipline being given is effective and that my advice is to make a change. I also don't believe that hitting siblings at age 5, making that sibling a victim of physical violence is so great, nor do I find that normal but it may be normal in families that allow it - but you're entitled to your own beliefs.

[maciesmom]

I think you're the one who is unwilling to accept that other people might have differing opinions. You have "corrected" everyone on here by continuously saying there is a huge problem in this family and that anyone who doesn't agree with you MUST be practicing lax parenting. You did what works for you. Great. Many of us are saying there is not enough information for any of us to know whether the situation was something that indicates a serious problem or not. We have all agreed that it needed to be addressed. You certainly are free to have your own opinions and offer your suggestions. That is kind of the point. But so is everyone else...and it doesn't necessarily mean that everyone else is WRONG WRONG WRONG and in need of constant correction.

[malamute]

Originally Posted by maciesmom

I think you're the one who is unwilling to accept that other people might have differing opinions. You have "corrected" everyone on here by continuously saying there is a huge problem in this family and that anyone who doesn't agree with you MUST be practicing lax parenting. You did what works for you. Great. Many of us are saying there is not enough information for any of us to know whether the situation was something that indicates a serious problem or not. We have all agreed that it needed to be addressed. You certainly are free to have your own opinions and offer your suggestions. That is kind of the point. But so is everyone else...and it doesn't necessarily mean that everyone else is WRONG WRONG WRONG and in need of constant correction.

You're the one constantly correcting so let's just agree to disagree. The fact that the OP posted the question and said that the child threatened the mother and still hits a sibling at age 5 was information enough to me to say that something isn't working in the way he's being disciplined. You can post your opinion that it's not enough information. I was responding to the OP in the first place, so now why don't you put me on ignore and let it go. I also believe it was you who tried to insult me and belittle me by claiming I knew nothing about children when in fact I probably have been around more than you. That was quite arrogant of you and not my approach.

[maciesmom]

I also believe it was you who tried to insult me and belittle me by claiming I knew nothing about children when in fact I probably have been around more than you. That was quite arrogant of you and not my approach

Never ever said you knew nothing about children so not sure what that's all about. Whether you have been around longer than me is irrelevant. I said you did what works for you - and from what you have said, it seems to have worked well for you. Great. Not contesting that in the least. But everyone who parents differently than you is not "lax". That's all. No biggee. It just seems you are hauling out an awful lot of judgement for a situation none of us knows the whole story about.

ETA - I have found that I don't really like the "ignore" feature....I personally don't see any reason to ignore people that I don't agree with. Sometimes, they are right or at least make me think about things differently. Also, some people whose opinions I might disagree with on one thread, I find I might totally agree with or at least value their opinion on another....