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Well, if it's not an error, then I guess you both know what she needs to work on next year! At this age, I would focus on correcting the problem and talk with her about the need for her to communicate with you if she is not understanding something. BTW, some kids are just not spellers (althought it certainly doesn't explain an "F").
You're right...especially when she had much better grades in spelling all year long.
Why is punishment even necessary? A single F in 3rd grade will make no difference in the coming years. Just let it be known you are disappointed, and expect more of an effort in the future. Then, read the spelling words aloud and have her spell them as practice. Any words she gets wrong, can be written 10 times.
My only question would be to the teacher, who should have alerted you. An F isn't given based on one test, so there must have been several failures.
Hi Vicki... I just wanted to say I know what you're going through. I recently went through something similar with my son who is also a good student who is also in third grade. Only he failed one of the big state-wide assessment tests! I was totally freaked out. I received an email from the teacher saying he had failed, and then she gave me a list of things he needed to study in order to try to pass the retake test which was going to be in a few days. I really lost it. I even posted on these boards about it!
Anyway - it was all resolved... turns out the test was given during the worst part of the day and he rushed through it and didn't take it seriously and failed by a few points... he was not the only student to fail the test the first time around. All the kids were rushing because they wanted to get outside to recess as quick as they could. All the students retook the test and the second time around (after much discussion with me about focusing on the test and checking his answers and doing his best, etc. - and they also scheduled the test for a better time, after lunch and recess...) he was only 4 points away from exceeding the standards ("meets" is a passing grade, "exceeds" is even better ).
Anyway - my advice to you is to stay calm until you have a chance to talk to the teacher to see what happened. It could be that she is missing an assignment, forgot to turn something in, wasn't paying attention that day, had a fight with her best friend that day, the class pet ate it, there was a sub that day who didn't know what she was doing and messed something up, who knows? It could be lots of things. The teacher even might have misplaced something, or entered something in the gradebook incorrectly... there are many possibilities.
If it isn't something like that... just talk to your daughter about it calmly. Maybe she didn't study, or maybe something is going on with her that she needs to talk about. But don't make her feel bad or like she's a failure... one F isn't the end of the world. It will be a good life lesson for her to learn that everybody messes up once in awhile... the important thing is how to deal with the mess-ups.
The only "punishment" I would give would to give her weekly spelling tests throughout the summer. I wouldn't approach it as a punishment, though. Instead, try instilling the idea "try, try, try again."
Well for one if the F is real and not a mistake, why would you jump to the idea of punishment? What if your little girl is really having a struggle and just doesn't get it?
I think you need to talk to your little girl and find out her version of things. Then ask the teacher why the F and if your daughter is having problem in that class.
Then look at tutoring, helping her yourself. She may be young for her age, and the material is a bit too much, the other subjects come easier. Maybe it was the teaching style that just didn't work for her.
I hope it is a mistake too.
My mind is stuck on "what if it isn't..."
I am thinking about setting up a meeting with her and my daughter also to see if maybe there is
something that can be done to fix this.
I advise you not to "fix" this. Allow your child to experience the pain of failure. Since she is in 3rd grade the experience of failing, and then turning that failure around can be a very valuable life lesson. It does your child no good for you to "fix" her problems.
The only "punishment" I would give would to give her weekly spelling tests throughout the summer. I wouldn't approach it as a punishment, though. Instead, try instilling the idea "try, try, try again."
I like this idea - that is something I would do you can even ask the teacher for list of words that they will be using in the fourth grade to get your kid a head start.
If it were me I would speak to the teacher calmly and see what the explanation is but it is something like your kid got an "F" because she's been failing test, not turning in assignments and things like that I would be very upset because she should have told you along the way and not wait until the end of the year to give an "F" especially since you appear to be very interested in your kids schooling... but it could very well be an error.. so keep calm until you speak to the teacher.
This kind of stuff is why I, as a parent, hate grades. Hate them. Assuming the F is real it means one of two things, either the child has a hard time spelling, or the class makes spelling so boring and terrible that the F is preferable to learning to spell.
In the former case, the idea of punishing a child because they are having a difficult time just doesn't make sense. They need guidance, encouragement, tutoring, and practice.
If it's the latter, well, that's a fault of the school system and the teacher.
There is way too much focus on grades and not enough on actual education. The grade should be nothing more than an indicator of progress. It's okay to be behind other kids. Kids are unique and learn at different paces and through different methods. If the F is real it is an indication that the method of teaching spelling isn't working, not that your child is lazy or stupid. She just needs a different method of learning to spell in order to catch up. Grades aren't the end-all, be-all. They are just a temporary tic-mark.
Sadly, public schools often don't recognize this, and have no way to accommodate, so you'll have to step in and figure it out yourself. That will mean working *against* the method that doesn't work for her, which will be difficult.
Stupid grades are mucking up education all the time.
We all know as parents how our little ones were when it came to learning and exploring the world, how they soaked up information like little sponges. They can't wait to crawl and explore the house, the cupboards, the dog's food bowl, see what's under the sink.
They love books, love reading time with mom and dad. Take them out for a walk when they're 2 or 3 years old and they want to run and check out everything, what's under every rock, behind each tree, they examine tree leaves.
By 3 or 4 years old they're asking you every question with answers you don't know, why is the sky blue, how many stars are there, how hot is the sun, why is it cold in winter.
Then along comes school. Then along comes being placed in a classroom of 20 other kids and told you must sit still all day with your hands folded and listen to a teacher for hours even if he/she is as boring as hell, loses control and yells at some of the kids. Now that inquisitive child is forced to sit and look at the clock every 5 minutes all day, every day.
When I saw the grade I asked her about it. I am getting the feeling from her that she is hiding something. Yesterday she threw her spelling notebook away and I asked her why...she said it was full and that she didn't need it anymore. I dug it out and found a few unfinished assignments, but not enough to warrant an "F".
I am really surprised that the teacher did not say anything at the conference about that though. The conference was suppose to be 30 minutes, but she right off the bat told me that she wasn't worried about my kid and that she had "no complaints", so the conference was just barely 10 minutes. She (teacher) seemed like she had her mind elsewhere, but I didn't think anything of it.
Go ahead and schedule the conference with the teacher, and take the spelling book and show her what you found. Tell her that you suspect your daughter may be hiding something, and you'd like the teacher to shed some light on the situation, if possible. Also, ask why she didn't mention daughter's unsatisfactory performance at the conference.
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