Parents and Teachers: I have a Facebook question/opinion for my situation..... (girls, accident)
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if you rejected her requestvthere is no notification via facebook. Set yourself as unsearchable , your profile private and even set your photo albums with limited access
Location: Jonquil City (aka Smyrna) Georgia- by Atlanta
16,259 posts, read 24,763,471 times
Reputation: 3587
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs.Bewitched
I am a teacher. I am 36 years old, married with two children (this is to let you know I am not a young party girl ) I have a face book account, for my personal time. All of my teacher friends from my school are on it, plus some normal friends. No cursing on it. I do however, have pictures of me at some parties, or at a bar or two. I'm dressed fine (I'm modest ), but of course I have a beer in my hand, or it's all of us teachers hugging (maybe with some beers). No nakedness......nothing rude or inappropriate.
Just regular pictures of grown women/men enjoying themselves out. I would put these pictures in a photo album.
A mother of a child in my class just requested me as a friend. I get along well with the woman, she volunteers in my class, but we don't speak outside of a professional relationship.
I don't mind being friendly and saying sure, be my friend........but I know that teachers are held up on such pedestals, and I fear any parent that sees me a picture of me at a bar....drinking.....is going to let this change her opinion of me as a teacher. I know it shouldn't. I know I've done nothing wrong.......but I also know that some people have a different way of thinking regarding teachers.......and they don't see us as "real people".
So I'm torn between saying sure and then dealing with any consequences....or saying no....explaining why...and then having her feelings get hurt (in case she doesn't mind that teachers have personal lives).
What would you do?
I would not worry about it. Going to a bar is still legal in this country despite the wishes of the religious nutcases and wanna be Islamist. Make her your friend!
Ignore it or expain your decision as a "school policy." It breaches Parent/teacher Personal/proffessional relationship standards.
As a fellow teacher, I really like the idea of telling the parent that it's "school policy." I also agree that your page needs to be set to as private a setting as possible so that casual searchers (including students, parents and/or administration) can't see what you have posted.
Maybe reply that you use it for family only.... some of my kids' teachers have befriended their students. One does have an adult beverage in her hand in a pix. But one never knows what will come back to bite us online.
My first friend on FB was my son. Second- a gay couple and third a lesbian couple at their wedding. Fourth- a born again Christian friend from church! I was concerned about befriending her until I had more diversity in friends, but clicked OK. Her daughter and a number of my son's friends from church are now my friends and it hasn't been a problem. I haven't posted pix of me drinking, but don't think that would be a prob, as long as my t-shirt isn't wet.
As a teacher, you are more than likely expected to have nothing less than exemplary behavior. There is nothing wrong with you having a Facebook account; I have one too and I am 61 years old. I am having a blast on it with my friends from Maine and have even made a new friend in Penn. However, I really don't think that you should put that photo of you drinking on there..if this person has never contacted you on a social level before, be very careful as to what her motive could be. With the economy as it is and jobs so scarce you wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardize your position. Maybe she is harmless but I don't think I would want to test the waters to find out.
If you don't want to add her as a friend to your Facebook then don't...I wouldn't be worried about hurting anyone's feelings over that website...it is a fun site but not the be all for anyone.
Just be very careful. Wasn't there a teacher who was let go because she posed in a bikini?? This was some time ago and I could be wrong.
As a fellow teacher, I really like the idea of telling the parent that it's "school policy."
The problem with that is, it isn't, it's a lie. Say that same parent was casually talking with admin, or other staff, and mentioned, 'Gee, I didn't know it is school policy to not befriend parents on Facebook.'. Can you imagine their reaction: 'I never heard it was, I have parents on my page.'.
As a teacher, you are more than likely expected to have nothing less than exemplary behavior. There is nothing wrong with you having a Facebook account; I have one too and I am 61 years old. I am having a blast on it with my friends from Maine and have even made a new friend in Penn. However, I really don't think that you should put that photo of you drinking on there..if this person has never contacted you on a social level before, be very careful as to what her motive could be. With the economy as it is and jobs so scarce you wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardize your position. Maybe she is harmless but I don't think I would want to test the waters to find out.
If you don't want to add her as a friend to your Facebook then don't...I wouldn't be worried about hurting anyone's feelings over that website...it is a fun site but not the be all for anyone.
Just be very careful. Wasn't there a teacher who was let go because she posed in a bikini?? This was some time ago and I could be wrong.
Why, oh why, is it not acceptable to see a teacher (assuming they are of legal drinking age) drinking an adult beverage? Or in a bikini?
The problem with that is, it isn't, it's a lie. Say that same parent was casually talking with admin, or other staff, and mentioned, 'Gee, I didn't know it is school policy to not befriend parents on Facebook.'. Can you imagine their reaction: 'I never heard it was, I have parents on my page.'.
It's always better to not lie.
I forgot. You can also put your settings on "closed" for friend requests. That way, only YOU can send them out. There isn't even an option when people see your face.
Can't you just add her and "limited profile" her-- make it so your photos can't be viewed and any information you wouldn't want her seeing un viewable to anyone on your limited profile list. It's pretty easy I can give you step by step instructions if you PM me =)
This is what I do for my co-workers etc. so you can add her and not have to worry about her seeing anything you might not want her to.
Is there a way to do a limited profile for someone you have befriended?
It really is a bit ridiculous that people have to be so concerned. This is the problem with everyone getting in your business. No matter what you do there is going to be someone that can get offended by something that you've done. There is nothing wrong with a beach picture, or a picture of you holding a beer or glass of wine. If that were the case all vacations photos or wedding photos would be taboo!
We all know the what is appropriate and what is inappropriate for anyone (and I don't think that teachers necessarily should be held to higher standards - should be the same standards). There will always be someone that get offended. So unless you work for some super conservative, Christian school don't get paranoid about it. I still wouldn't befriend a students parent but don't worry too much about it either.
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) I have a face book account, for my personal time. All of my teacher friends from my school are on it, plus some normal friends. No cursing on it. I do however, have pictures of me at some parties, or at a bar or two. I'm dressed fine (I'm modest
), but of course I have a beer in my hand, or it's all of us teachers hugging (maybe with some beers). No nakedness......nothing rude or inappropriate. 
Parents and Teachers: Facebook
