Re: Teen age girls--when did we start outgrowing this?

[Coldjensens]

As far as home drama, our daughters stopped long before 17. They are pretty mature, beside we ahve so much fun with the drama. Girl girl drama seems to last forever though.

[NCyank]

Originally Posted by maciesmom

NCYank - just curious as to how you go about not allowing drama and how old are your kids? I was not a dramatic teen either (in fact I specifically asked my parents about this cause I just never remembered being like that) and I really didn't think my daughter was either but.....I just think there is a lot more drama these days (between Facebook, texting, and shows like the Hills, Laguna Beach etc - even if your kid isn't watching (at least at your house!)- everyone else is and thinks all that behavior is normal). I've always explained stuff to my kids and talked through stuff with them. The drama is not generally home drama (like mouthiness and stuff) but school and friends drama that then you have to listen to again and again and then help them deal with it and the tears over friends and boyfriends and teachers etc etc. It just seems to be an overflow of emotion and I have no idea how to control or not allow those. Agreed that some kids are just more dramatic than others....

We really started when they were very young and understanding how emotions affect our behavior. They can be very beneficial or they can lead you in the wrong direction. Just because you feel something doesn't make it right. Once kids learn to understand their emotions they are much better at communicating in general. The kids are now 15 and almost 14, a boy and a girl. Now, we still do have some drama as that is normal for this age but we really do send them for a walk down the street to consider what it is they are trying to accomplish and if their current emotional state is helping or hindering that effort. Besides, sometimes I need to consider the same things while they are out walking...LOL They almost always come back with a more reasonable perspective, amost always. We try to have very open communication. You can say anything as long as it is respectful, etc.

As for some of the things that might lead to even more drama (all the bolded items above), we don't do any of those things. Not because they aren't allowed but the kids have never even asked for a facebook or myspace page. They do e-mail but that's about it. I don't even know what the shows are you mentioned. They don't have cell phones, no boyfriends or girlfriends yet but yet but I'm sure the time is coming.

I should say that none of us are particularly emotional to begin with...it may be genetic. DH and I aren't loud, never shout and have rarely even raised our voices. I'm not a cryer and don't use emotions as a tool. It's often hard to be 'dramatic' when those around you are calm and rational. When the drama does start we try not to feed it, no sense escalating an already emotional situation...KWIM??

[maciesmom]

Wow - lucky you. I thought that's pretty much what I was doing too - we've always been a very open family. Maybe I just have a dramatic child. We didn't watch those shows either but I know they hang at a friends house and watch periodically. My daughter - my son could care less - I assume he is aware but frankly if it is not on ESPN he is pretty much unconcerned - LOL! Well, I hope this continues for you - my friends who had boys the same age as my daughter (oldest) kept telling me "I'm sooooo glad I don't have girls" - then senior year hit. And their quiet, non-dramatic boys had some issues (some dramatic some not - but certainly more than their parents ever expected - especially after a relatively uneventful teendom thus far....). My son is just 15 and so far so good but I know I'm not in the clear yet... Thank goodness for hair color!