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I too had the answers to all parenting quandaries before I had children. It was amazing... my future children would NEVER act badly. No child of mine would cry past 8:00 at night, I simply would not allow it. I would not allow tantrums. I would not be one of those slacker moms who let their toddler watch tv, and I certainly knew enough about nutrition to know that kids should NOT ingest sugar or red food dye!
Yeah, then I grew up a bit and had kids. Real live breathing kids who emerged from my loins and drank my milk... and it's not the same as having a dog or watching your little brother as a child/teenager or being a kid once. Really. It takes becoming a parent to realize the difference, but once you are a parent, it's ludicrous to think that someone might think that babysitting someone else's kid is the same as raising your own.
And that is the post that completely makes sense.
How in the world can you provide an objective opinion about something you really know nothing about?
I find people who don't have children happen to give very judgemental advice, because in their heads, they know the answers, although they have no idea what is like to be a parent.
I too had the answers to all parenting quandaries before I had children. It was amazing... my future children would NEVER act badly. No child of mine would cry past 8:00 at night, I simply would not allow it. I would not allow tantrums. I would not be one of those slacker moms who let their toddler watch tv, and I certainly knew enough about nutrition to know that kids should NOT ingest sugar or red food dye!
Yeah, then I grew up a bit and had kids. Real live breathing kids who emerged from my loins and drank my milk... and it's not the same as having a dog or watching your little brother as a child/teenager or being a kid once. Really. It takes becoming a parent to realize the difference, but once you are a parent, it's ludicrous to think that someone might think that babysitting someone else's kid is the same as raising your own.
People can participate in any type of forum they wish. I don't see why it would be creepy if the person isn't trying to meet you or anything like that. They are just offering opinions on a forum, it's not a big deal.
I don't have kids, but I like reading the threads on here, as I am trying to decide whether or not I want to have children, so it's a good learning experience for me. However, I have never, nor would I ever, attempt to put in my two cents on childrearing topics to parents, seeing as I have no experience with that. I just enjoy reading the threads and learning about the world of parenting. I don't have any friends with kids, nor do I have any nieces or nephews (nor does my hubby), so I don't have anyone to ask my questions to or learn about parenting from.
You took the words right out of my mouth doglover; only my husband and I have just recently decided that we are going to try to conceive. We have been having this discussion for a very, very long time, and coming onto the parenting board was helpful for me in many ways. Like you, I would never respond to a child rearing topic, since I have no experience in that category.
As a decided childfree person, I read some discussions here on the Parent board because I'm curious what parents are thinking about. I never take part, as I find no reason to, unless it's a discusison about whether or not to have kids, or some other area of choosing parenthood or childfree life, where I have something to contribute.
I do think it would be odd for a childfree person to chime in on a discussion with people who have kids and who are discussing the facts of their parenthood. I know parents aren't welcome in childfree discussions the same way.
How in the world can you provide an objective opinion about something you really know nothing about?
I find people who don't have children happen to give very judgemental advice, because in their heads, they know the answers, although they have no idea what is like to be a parent.
By this logic, childless teachers, nannies, child psychologists, etc shouldn't give advice on raising children?? Sometimes these people can give more objective advice than parents & often they have more experience dealing with different types of children.
It's like a celibate priest giving marital advice. WTF????
Just because you've studied it doesn't mean you can relate. I'll also go further to say that just because you are a teacher doesn't mean you know what it's like to be a parent. Raising a kid 24/7 is WAY different than dealing with them in a professional setting such as a classroom or clinic.
There is no substitute to the experience of endless nights of interrupted sleep, sacrificing a big part of your social life for this little person, attempting to sooth an infant that is colicky or has an ear infection, falling in love with him/her as you fall asleep them laying on your chest, drowning in their eyes as they look into yours and smile for their first time, instinctively knowing that it's your child who just cried out in pain from the crowded playground, feeling happy, sad and worried all at the same time as they reach each level of independence.....
Anybody who has not experienced all of these things just cannot say they know what it is like to be a parent. But, at the same time, that does not necessarily mean that they don't have the ability to give some advice on a particular topic if they have some applicable experience. Just don't tell me that you know what it's like to be a parent if you've never been one. And pets don't count.
It's like a celibate priest giving marital advice. WTF????
Just because you've studied it doesn't mean you can relate. I'll also go further to say that just because you are a teacher doesn't mean you know what it's like to be a parent. Raising a kid 24/7 is WAY different than dealing with them in a professional setting such as a classroom or clinic.
There is no substitute to the experience of endless nights of interrupted sleep, sacrificing a big part of your social life for this little person, attempting to sooth an infant that is colicky or has an ear infection, falling in love with him/her as you fall asleep them laying on your chest, drowning in their eyes as they look into yours and smile for their first time, instinctively knowing that it's your child who just cried out in pain from the crowded playground, feeling happy, sad and worried all at the same time as they reach each level of independence..... Anybody who has not experienced all of these things just cannot say they know what it is like to be a parent. But, at the same time, that does not necessarily mean that they don't have the ability to give some advice on a particular topic if they have some applicable experience. Just don't tell me that you know what it's like to be a parent if you've never been one. And pets don't count.
I agree with this. Being qualified to give advice on raising children is not the same as knowing what being a parent is like...they are two different things. Advice shouldn't be discounted or followed solely on the basis of whether or not the person is a parent.
How in the world can you provide an objective opinion about something you really know nothing about?
I do not have to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge to know that it is not a good idea. Most of us are surrounded by parents, people, children and child rearing every day (unfortunately), you would have not be blind, deaf and dumb to have have an objective opinion about it. I'm sure that lots of people have never been a candidate for the President of the United States, but plenty of them have opinions about that, including you, I'd wager.
20yrsinBranson
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