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I would very much like to hear anyone's experience with moving kids (mine is 10 and in 5th grade) to another state at varying age points in their lives.
People always say to me....."Don't worry, kids are resilient", but is that really true?
Nancy, wondered where you've been. How is the job search going?
We moved my entire childhood. Kids are resilient. Nobody was more shy than I was, but I always made friends. The important thing is for you to make it an adventure for the both of you. Of course it will be scarey--it's even scarey for adults, but if your child sees you overcoming your fears, it will help teach him to do the same. My Mom was always there for me and always got involved with school activities and the neighborhood kids just loved her. Be involved, talk a lot, give lots of hugs and your son should be okay.
Grammy, thanks for the warm welcome!!! Everything is still moving along, thanks. How are you doing? Thanks also for sharing. At what age did you make your lifelong friendships? Did you have brothers and sisters?
I was waiting to see if you would get very many answers, my daughter is 12 and we were planning on moving to another state, and I was kind of wondering the same thing. My daughter is pretty quiet and shy right now, but she has over-came some of her fears, I just hope that she will find even more friends, at where ever we move to. I will check back in to see if more people answer. Thanks, Dorene
We are moving to Tucson from NJ in 5 months. Our daughter is 12. We have been there twice, she has seen her school. She seems very excited about it.It is a big move for all of us. Now when we get there it might be a different story.
Grammy, thanks for the warm welcome!!! Everything is still moving along, thanks. How are you doing? Thanks also for sharing. At what age did you make your lifelong friendships? Did you have brothers and sisters?
Thanks Grammy!
I made a very close friend when we lived in Missouri. That would have been between the ages of 5 and 9. I also made a very good friend during my Jr. High years. We even flew to visit each other after I moved.
I did have brothers and sisters. I thought of that too. I wondered how much different it would be for your son. Sometimes I think he may have it easier. My Mom had to spread her attention around to 5 scared kids. Your son won't have to share yours. We did move back to Ohio with my girls when they were in Jr. High. They hadn't lived in Ohio since the first years of grade school. I think we became closer during those first couple of months of adjustment--and they did adjust and make friends. I've watched some of the kids movies with my grandchildren and I notice they always seem to portray being the "new" kid as a bad thing because the other kids are so mean. I never experienced that and I rarely was the only new kid at the start of school. Again--just keep thinking Adventure...adventure! A new chapter in your lives.
It depends on the kid, and where you move. My family moved when I was older (I was already almost on my own, so I didn't care and had moved out within 3 months of our arrival), but my sister had a hard time adjusting to the new school, she moved from a more urban mostly non-white school with armed security guards and all that goes with that (incidently the school I graduated from) to a mostly white ex-urban/rural school where a lot of the kids were pretty wealthy by our standards (cliquish and naive too), and it was a very rough transition for her. Some of the problems were certainly hers, but some of the problems were with the school that looked upon her (and families like ours) with suspicion. So just be aware of the dynamics of the town you are moving to and look for signs that your child may be having difficulty adjusting, and be there for her or her (my sister ended up just fine, and ended up liking the town, and now lives there with her family, but it took awhile for them to work out their differences).
Both my wife, and I moved quite a bit growing up. I have no regrets about it, and I think the experience made me more open to experiencing the world around me. Since we've been married, we've moved six times. Our kids (now 7, 9, 10 and 12) have adjusted fine, and keep intouch with several of their firends from before.
I would very much like to hear anyone's experience with moving kids (mine is 10 and in 5th grade) to another state at varying age points in their lives.
People always say to me....."Don't worry, kids are resilient", but is that really true?
I moved my daughter to TX from TN 3 years ago and she loves it here. She has adjusted very well considering she left the only home she ever knew and all of our family.
I moved a lot as a kid. (Was a United Airlines brat.)
Two of the biggest moves were from California to New York at age 8, and from New York to Colorado at age 14. Wasn't always easy but the rewards always seemed pretty good in retrospect.
In 2005, we moved from Colorado to rural northwest Florida. Our oldest was already out of the house but our youngest was a junior in high school.
J33, in some ways our move resembled yours. Our son went from a big inner city high school (from which I graduated) to a much smaller rural southern-style atmosphere.
For us, sports helped a lot. He joined the soccer team his first day here and it gave him a ready-made pack of friends to hang out with.
I do think that moving around a bit as a child contributes to a person's resilience, tolerance and self-reliance.
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