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My family moved from Maryland to California when I was 6, my sister was 9, and my brother just shy of 2 years old. We all made friends very quickly, and I'd say we were fully adjusted within a year... my brother was obviously too young to notice, but my sister and I settled in nicely. None of us regret that move, and we all now consider ourselves Californians! I wouldn't worry too much, since kids at that age really are resilient... just think of how much you change between 10 & 16, and how it's basically a lifetime for them. A teenager might have a bit more trouble, but I'd say that most "kids" are much more flexible than adults.
Funny. I friend and I were discussing this very topic yesterday.
One thing we agreed on, is that how the move is handled is important.
I think it's a good idea to have your child(ren) involved in the move. Discuss the move well in advance. Show them pictures and websites. Explain why this is a good thing for your family. Listen to and don't belittle their concerns (re: leaving friends, starting at a new school) Give them some sense of autonomy, even if it's just picking out new decor for their room in the new house.
My parents moved us the month after my older brother graduated from high school. I was 15, and my younger brother was 8. We moved from a town in Nebraska of 25,000 to a town in Kansas of 4,000. I got along with people, and hung out with several kids, but there are only about 5 people that I considered to be real friends. 95% of the kids in the smaller town were not very accepting of outsiders. Out of the few that were accepting, most of them still let me know that I would always be an outsider.
My little brother wasn't as lucky as I was. He had a terrible time making friends (he had 1 friend until 10th grade). It wasn't until his sophomore year in high school that people decided to be nice to him. And that was only after football season had started and he proved was a good football player he was (he was the only sophomore to actually play during a varsity game - 2nd string).
My personal experience has caused me to make the decision NOT to move my kids once they have started school.
I would very much like to hear anyone's experience with moving kids (mine is 10 and in 5th grade) to another state at varying age points in their lives.
People always say to me....."Don't worry, kids are resilient", but is that really true?
I think it would matter why you were moving. I chose to stay in my current state after my divorce under the mistaken
(hindsight ) idea that the children's father would become more involved with them and their lives, given that he'd left and no longer would see them daily. If anything, he was less involved. I should have moved; the kids would have been ok, because they would have been around cousins, uncles, and grandparents. My point - if it is a positive move for your family - GO!
Ditto your situation! Ex is here, I want out of here....ex took a job in SC and left for 2 years, got fired, and now is back........just as we were preparing to leave. Ugh.
Nancy Lynne.... I moved every five or so years as a kid. I turned out OK but wish I had a circle of friends from childhood. I always wondered what it would be like. when moving with kids in school their age is always a consideration because who wants to move in high school !!! unless you have no close friends, things can only look up. Your child will be entering middle school next school year and since this is a transition year in school, it would be a good time to go. Lots of school systems these days have more then one elem. school and the kids will all be converging on the middle school and becoming a new group and forming new alliances and friendships next year. Since all the kids will be experiencing middle school for the first time, it is a good time to move when the kids do not have to feel like the new kid. Best of luck to you.
Nancy Lynne.... I moved every five or so years as a kid. I turned out OK but wish I had a circle of friends from childhood. I always wondered what it would be like. when moving with kids in school their age is always a consideration because who wants to move in high school !!! unless you have no close friends, things can only look up. Your child will be entering middle school next school year and since this is a transition year in school, it would be a good time to go. Lots of school systems these days have more then one elem. school and the kids will all be converging on the middle school and becoming a new group and forming new alliances and friendships next year. Since all the kids will be experiencing middle school for the first time, it is a good time to move when the kids do not have to feel like the new kid. Best of luck to you.
This was my thought with my daughter, she will be going into 7th grade, if we don't move this summer, it would be harder on her by waiting until she hits 8th grade. With everyone kind of new, she would have a much better chance of making new friends.
Thank you Taboo! I agree, it is now or never...as it relates to kids.
Yorkie Mom, everything I have researched says just try not to do it once they reach 9th grade or high school and that is certainly understandable. Yorkie Mom, where are you moving from and to where? How does your daughter feel about the move? Do you have other kids? Why are your moving? Just wanted to get your perspective on things. Thanks!
Gizmo - thank you!
Where are you in silicon valley? I lived in Redwood City, Foster City, and in Alameda...on 3 different jobs....I'm in tech... what a surprise, right?
Kids that are are pretty resiliant. An important thing is to make sure that they see their parents enjoying what's going on. You don't want them seeing you stressed out because they will absorb that and feel stress. Make it a fun new experience and an adventure and they will enjoy it as well.
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I wouldn't worry too much, since kids at that age really are resilient... just think of how much you change between 10 & 16, and how it's basically a lifetime for them. A teenager might have a bit more trouble, but I'd say that most "kids" are much more flexible than adults. 
Thank you all so much .....mm
