My child's best friend's mom suddenly forbids any contact between the girls-- should I confront her or not? (babysitter, party)
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I would talk to the mother before talking to the coach so it does not appear that you are attempting to be divisive. When dealilng with people like this I have found it is much easier to play by life's rules rather than theirs...they can't change life's rules or the playing field!
Maybe it would be a good idea to just lay the entire scenario out for her i.e. your knowledge of her previous treatment of other children, and let her know you are on to her and that you will not tolerate that outcome for your own child and it would be in her best interest to change her course.
Sorry this is so sordy. These sorts of situations really fire me up...why can't parents just let kids be kids?
My one of my best friends did this to me several years ago, I was distraught as was my son. She didn't give any reason for not returning calls, coming to playgroup, switching schools. We had the same circle of friends and it became awkward.
It took her about six months to confess to me I had said something that hurt her. Instead of talking to me about it, she shut me out. Sadly it forever damaged our children's friendship, but we were able to make amends.
I suggest trying to talk to her, ask her what is going on. It is very sad when people let jealousy interfere with their child's life.
I suggest you try to "meet with" the other parent rather than "confront" the other parent.
That was my thought. Asking what is up seems a lot better way of handling this than going in w/ a confrontational spirit. If she won't talk - fine. At least you tried. All you can do is tell your daughter that they have problems at that house - and it is all about them - and not about your daughter - and you are sorry but some times people do very odd things . . . Best not to create a big drama as that won't help your daughter any.
I would definately talk to the Mom. If it is a misunderstanding maybe things could be fixed before there is too much damage to the kids relationship. Sounds like she's being childish, so go in with your head held high, but without an attitude. Good luck! Let us know how things turn out!
Thanks every one-- for your advice and support. After repeated requests, the other mom finally phoned. Apparently she's been keeping "evidence" for some time, checking with mutual aquaintances, and recording the negative drama associated with my daughter. After an hour of yelling at me on the phone, twisting my words around, you get the picture, she "diagnosed" me as a lying manipulator, and has "put people on alert." Considering some of the negative things she's said about some of our mutual acquaintances and their children, I can see why she wants to discredit me-- not that I have the stomach for that kind of game. I'm really concerned for my little girl though.
The final warning was that we were never to talk to her , her daughter, or any of our mutaul friends again and for now she wouldn't make a fuss at school or on the team. I don't trust this woman and I'm just sick at heart for my daughter.
You and your daughter are better off without her and her family, andmost likely anybody that believes her. Life is a big enough PITA without adopting the fantasy world that this woman seems to live in. It may be hard for your daughter at first, but you need to explain to her that this person is nuts and her fantasy is eating her alive inside and thats why shes like this and its better to stay away and live an "easy" life than deal with it.
The final warning was that we were never to talk to her , her daughter, or any of our mutaul friends again and for now she wouldn't make a fuss at school or on the team
I would think the first thing you need to do is talk to the mutual friends to ascertain whether or not your daughter may or may not actually be causing or contributing to a problem or whether or not this woman is just totally off her gourd.
If she is, I can't see that all of your friends would be supporting her in unfounded accusations
Thanks every one-- for your advice and support. After repeated requests, the other mom finally phoned. Apparently she's been keeping "evidence" for some time, checking with mutual aquaintances, and recording the negative drama associated with my daughter. After an hour of yelling at me on the phone, twisting my words around, you get the picture, she "diagnosed" me as a lying manipulator, and has "put people on alert." Considering some of the negative things she's said about some of our mutual acquaintances and their children, I can see why she wants to discredit me-- not that I have the stomach for that kind of game. I'm really concerned for my little girl though.
The final warning was that we were never to talk to her , her daughter, or any of our mutaul friends again and for now she wouldn't make a fuss at school or on the team. I don't trust this woman and I'm just sick at heart for my daughter.
Wow, a similar rant happened to me earlier this year...it's strange because it sounds like the same person. And after her rant, she calls me back to ask how we potty trained our 2nd, I thought she was nuts. I had to let that friendship go & unfortunately our "mutual" friends let go of me due to her toxicity about me & my daughter. Lesson learned and I moved on. My child is young so I just tell her we have no time to see her anymore. But I have no doubt that the other mother is telling her kids bad things about us, but I can only control this side. Good luck!
I had a similar expereince earlier this year with a mom who was out of her mind pi**ed off about something that had happened with her child and a sports team. She was irrationally angry and mean to me, but after we "talked" - I use the word generously - I was able to see that she was mostly feeling hurt and betrayed and trying to protect her child. Dysfunctional, perhaps. I don't think she was right to take things the way she did - but you can't change how someone feels.
If she's HALF the monster you describe, I doubt the other moms give her much credence.
Although.....it took you this long to realize she's a big bag o' crazy, so she must be able to maintain appearances to some extent.
I feel for you. How much does your daughter love this team?
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