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Why should you get to make this decision for your son now? Why not let him grow up and be who he wants to be?
Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should.
Yeh, I think a kid should feel comfortable w/ their sex bc that means they're comfortable with the body they were born with. If he wants to wear girl's clothes and play with dolls, who really cares? That's his choice. But when you deny a boy he's experiencing a relatively normal boyhood then that stirs up potential of him just getting confused in later life. Along w/ other problems.
He's a boy, maybe not interested in stereotypical boy stuff. But he's still a boy and that's a fact that won't change if he has a Y chromosome.
My question is do some do register the birth gender of their childeren?
In our country is it possible to register with M, male F, female and X , genderless.
We’ve decided to register our both childeren with the X marker they are both genderless by law.
I think those stereotypes are from the past, times are changing and living with out gender is living with out some gender related discrimination is our meaning.
Our both childeren are now free to choose what they want wich way they want we let them grow up in the middele i think for their feature it is a big step foreward for them.
My question is do some do register the birth gender of their childeren?
In our country is it possible to register with M, male F, female and X , genderless.
We’ve decided to register our both childeren with the X marker they are both genderless by law.
I think those stereotypes are from the past, times are changing and living with out gender is living with out some gender related discrimination is our meaning.
Our both childeren are now free to choose what they want wich way they want we let them grow up in the middele i think for their feature it is a big step foreward for them.
I consider myself quite progressive and I have many trans friends, far more than most Americans know. Just some background for my perspective here.
I do not think that kids should be raised "officially" gender neutral or genderless. I don't think that it helps anything, I don't think that it gives them more or less freedom to become who they need to become, I think that it only creates hardship and confusion in a society that they live in outside of your home, unless you plan to raise them in a bubble off the grid where they don't interact with other kids and people.
I do think that it's fine to challenge various ASPECTS of traditional masculinity or femininity. Healthy, even. A boy can be a boy and learn to be nurturing. He can go through his entire life as a totally masculine person, but still know how to change a diaper when his wife has their first child one day because he played with dolls as a kid. He can be a dude and look forward to having a family. He could even be a completely valid man as an adult, and manage the household while his wife goes out and earns a living and provides. Why not?
A girl (like me, growing up) could prefer "tomboyish" clothing rather than frilly dresses, and prefer science and building toys over dolls and cooking playsets, and yet never have a problem with being a female person and never wish to actually be a man. I was jealous of my cousins' He-Man toys. I mean, a tiger with actually fuzzy flocking on its plastic body, how cool was that?? And a castle! Wow. I wanted a castle. Instead I got a Barbie beach hot dog stand. And a baby doll that could actually pee. I often felt like my family didn't even KNOW me, and I would destroy these things to use as parts to make other things, or spend all of my time out in the woods, making, building and exploring. The problem wasn't their assumptions, it's that they didn't listen when I tried to tell them what was right for me and what wasn't.
But I was still a girl, and I'm still a woman, and just because I had interests that society says are "boy stuff" never meant I wanted to actually be a boy/man.
Conversely, most of the trans people I know were raised as their "assigned at birth" gender, yet somewhere along the way, they KNEW and eventually they found the words for it, and eventually they changed their outer self to match their inner self, no matter how anyone had raised them.
What I think matters, is letting your child tell you who they are, what they enjoy, as they are ready. One of my kids was into pirate stuff for a minute, so I started buying him all kinds of pirate stuff, and like a year later he told me he wasn't into that anymore, so I stopped. I did not freak out over the money I'd spent on that interest, and insist he keep it for life.
The really hard part of parenting is finding balance. Give the kid structure and guidance, but also freedom to find themselves. Do not let them run wild, teach them to be considerate of other people and well behaved, but not to an extent that they feel that their emotions don't matter and no one cares about their needs. I guess what I'm saying is that there are enough challenges to being a decent parent and raising a happy, healthy human being. Trying to strike out in a new direction with "gender neutrality" in a world that mostly still operates along gendered lines, seriously seems like making things harder than they need to be. All you really need to do, is show up to love and support your kid if one day they say, "Yeah this isn't who I really am." You don't have to keep the slate utterly blank in case they feel an urge to draw something on it.
After lots of reading off this issue, I've come to the conclusion that it is worth to be free of gender.
Living with out gender you have more choice then with gender, living without gender you can choose
your own clothes style ,hair style, bathroom , dressing room end lots more.
So I've gone last week to the cityhall and unsubscribed my son complete out of the citizens register.
After this I've subscribed my child again into the citizens register as gender neutral ( x) and with a new gender neutral name.
So my child is now complete gender neutral by the new law.
The M indicates his sex, which is and always will be male. That won't change by changing the marker to X. You, and all parents, should teach their children that toys are for everyone, that nothing is meant just for boys or just for girls, and give them a variety until they develop their own preferences. True gender-free parenting is breaking away from gender entirely, not just adding in a new gender box of neutral and deciding that adherence to stereotypes indicates whether someone is a boy or a girl or neutral, forget stereotypes and let them be boys and girls who don't have to conform.
I wonder if people who are "free of gender" might feel left out?
Like there's no where they quite belong, except possibly with other "free of gender" people?
In the past when you have people who have a foot in two places - like the vietnamese children fathered by US GIs who were 1/2 vietnamese - never had a place to "be".
When you watch 4 year olds thru about 4th grade, they like to clump by gender typically - and that's their crowd. Do we want to take that feeling of belonging away?
On the other hand, I read a lot of old books, and SO OFTEN there will be statements, "the men did this, and the women did that". The men felt this way, the women that. It must have been stifling, really, to always be clumped. So allowing each person to react as they would, and not bound by their gender group, is a move in the right direction.
Because a) they're being raised by fad-chasing nihilists who can't even acknowledge a fact so rudimentary as we are a dimorphic species, and b) they will grow up in a society that apparently believes you can eliminate this immutable fact "by law."
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I often felt like my family didn't even KNOW me, and I would destroy these things to use as parts to make other things, or spend all of my time out in the woods, making, building and exploring. The problem wasn't their assumptions, it's that they didn't listen when I tried to tell them what was right for me and what wasn't.
