Having Children (newborn, fertile, support, pregnancy)
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One thing thats making me apprehensive is my age. I'm 44 and my wife is 39. I think having kids at my age will seriously derail my retirement plans. That was to retire at 58. Lol not happening now.
So how opinions of internet strangers will help you? Will they help you retire at 58? You are in a situation you've created (seeing that your wife is already pregnant?), you've sowed, you will be harvesting the consequences. The only way here is to accept what you've done?
So how opinions of internet strangers will help you? Will they help you retire at 58? You are in a situation you've created (seeing that your wife is already pregnant?), you've sowed, you will be harvesting the consequences. The only way here is to accept what you've done?
Very glad to hear that for you. I feel having an only child is bit lonely for them( I'm just assuming) and they would have more fun with a sibling.
My cousin is an only child and her husband is also an only child and they very intentionally wanted to have only one child. They liked being only children, and it seems that their child likes it just as much.
You seem to be thinking that if you go ahead and have one child, then you have to have a second. That is definitely not the case.
I always wanted to have kids and I can't imagine my life without them. I would have liked to have had them at 30 and 34 or 35, but things didn't work out that way and I had them at 35 and 40. Yes, I sometimes think how much more money I'd have if I didn't have them and sometimes they are PITAs, but I love them more than anything. It is amazing to watch them grow and have their own thoughts and viewpoints and interests.
That said, it's not for everyone, and if you don't want to have them, then don't. Not everyone needs to be a parent.
Life is very, very different to before kids, but for me it is more fulfilling. Having children grounded me and I feel it gave me a purpose. As insane as it can be with 3 preschoolers, overall, they keep me sane.
They have made me a better person. I feel absolutely blessed and fortunate to have become a mother.
Some people had very bad experiences with their families when growing up and were never given an example of what it's like to be a good parent or what the rewards might be. Those who had that misfortune and had no childhood of their own, are probably not suited to be parents and shouldn't try.
Some people had very bad experiences with their families when growing up and were never given an example of what it's like to be a good parent or what the rewards might be. Those who had that misfortune and had no childhood of their own, are probably not suited to be parents and shouldn't try.
I couldn't disagree more! My horrible childhood made be a much better parent. I learned what not to do to a child and what to do to protect them from horrible people and horrible circumstances. We have 6 children ( a blended family) and 13 grandchildren currently. We don't regret anything. We had lean years and then prosperous years.
And this year we officially became empty nesters with the youngest child graduating from college and buying his own home. So we are now enjoying being "childless" because we can do things we like to do together. Helping our children become wonderful adults has made us more appreciative of what we have experienced so far in life and all those years of working for what we have now so we can enjoy the "fruits of our labor".
Guy here - 3 kids. Wouldn't change anything. They drive me crazy at times, but there is never a dull moment. Sure, I have a sibling with no kids that talks about retiring early and goes to Tahiti and Europe, drives a Tesla, etc because they don't have the same obligations that I have.
Before I had kids, I'd probably have said "no, I don't want kids" or maybe "I'm unsure." Life changed in so many ways. I've become a better person. I had already found the joy of putting someone else's needs above mine. And I never thought I could do that with another 3 human beings, but I have. And I love every minute of it. Helping them grow to be a better person than I am.
I'll check back on this thread in 8 years when I have 3 teenagers. Maybe I'll sing a different tune then!
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