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I think you should talk to her like the adult you need her to be. Explain about your approaching retirement and financial concerns for yourself, as well as her and her child, and let her see you as a person with problems that you have to solve for yourself, not the fairy godmother who always bails her out.
I agree that what she has accomplished is not to be taken lightly, so I wouldn't put the job down. She might lack the confidence to put her record out there by trying for something better. Just talk and put a few new ideas in her head and see if she steps up to the plate.
Her felony will be a burden to overcome. She probably knows this and is hesitant to apply for jobs she knows she will get turned down for.
I suggest that you pitch in one last time and pay for an attorney to petition for her to have her record expunged. That way, the felony is dismissed and she can honestly, legally say she does not have a felony. With seven years clean and no issues since her felony, she should have a good chance. That's assuming it was not from something like murder, or sexual assault, etc. Each state has it's own rules; you should google for your state and the jurisdiction that convicted her. In CA I think it costs about $1500, but that could vary wildly.
After this, there is nothing holding her back from getting a better job and you can retire in peace.
I think ... the OP has been helping at the level she has because there is a grandaughter in the home.
It's easier to do the tough love thing when there is not a child in harms way. On the other hand; the OP's daughter needs to step it up a bit because she has a daughter in the home. I would struggle with this one too.
Having a culinary degree is great but the good jobs can be competitive and hard to come by. Unfortunately it may not be easy finding one with health insurance especially where a felony is involved.
Rent and phone bills are not "emergencies." Those are expected monthly expenses. Stop paying them for her. As others said, if she has a degree, she should be able to get a job as a chef or sous chef. Those are more stable, and longer term, and pay better.
She's going to top out at about $16 an hour as a cook, $45K as a sous chef, and about $60K plus bonus as a head chef.
At 36 she's into her career which is the culinary business and starting over to have better hours would be an even bigger salary decrease.
She needs to start climbing the corporate ladder. She'll at least get a 401K and benefits. I would start with either Outback, Cheesecake, or PF Changs. They pay kitchen help very well.
To the person who suggested a food truck? Those people make no money. Fastest way to lose a million bucks? Open a restaurant.
This ends when you stop enabling it as so many parents of our generation do. You stop treating her like a dependant and expect her to handle her "emergencies" (aka poor planning) like any other adult does, on her own.
Amen! Sorry I can give you any more reps right now. Why should CD care, just askin'.
Her felony will be a burden to overcome. She probably knows this and is hesitant to apply for jobs she knows she will get turned down for.
I suggest that you pitch in one last time and pay for an attorney to petition for her to have her record expunged. That way, the felony is dismissed and she can honestly, legally say she does not have a felony. With seven years clean and no issues since her felony, she should have a good chance. That's assuming it was not from something like murder, or sexual assault, etc. Each state has it's own rules; you should google for your state and the jurisdiction that convicted her. In CA I think it costs about $1500, but that could vary wildly.
After this, there is nothing holding her back from getting a better job and you can retire in peace.
Kudos for her getting her life back in order!
Center for Justice here will do it for $200 (Remove the felony.) But she has to make the moves.
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