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We trusted our kid and believed him. So we just found out that our kid has been hiding his bad grades from us all this while. We confronted him after deep probing, but he felt sorry for this. It concerns us.
We are not sure, what did contribute to his behavior . We are in a dilemma to believe, what he says.
How will we help him to rebuild his credibility?
What are the strategies work to stop this behavior moving forward?
I know that all of my kids' grades are online, and we have constant access to them. My daughter's math grades started taking last semester. The only reason being that she hates math and didn't want to do it. She understands it just fine, just doesn't like it.
After several long talks, she seems to be back on track. She still hates math, but she does it now and is back to an A average. I think just knowing that we can (and do) check her grades online regularly was enough to get her behind in gear.
Does ]your school use an online system where grades and assignments are posted where parents can keep track of their children's performance? If so, get on it. If not, suggest the school get on it. (I don't know if elementary schools have them, but middle and high schools do.)
How old is he? I'm a little shocked that could happen in this day and age. It's been awhile since my kids were young but in elementary school if there were concerns I heard from the teacher; in MS and HS all assignments and grades were available online.
My advice? Don't punish him. Come to him and say "wow, it looks like you are struggling at school. Lets work together to figure out how to help you succeed more in school". And continue this type of parenting. Because the reason why he lied was because he couldn't trust you with the truth. You will be able to work with him more, he will be more honest, and your relationship will grow.
My advice? Don't punish him. Come to him and say "wow, it looks like you are struggling at school. Lets work together to figure out how to help you succeed more in school". And continue this type of parenting. Because the reason why he lied was because he couldn't trust you with the truth. You will be able to work with him more, he will be more honest, and your relationship will grow.
My advice? Don't punish him. Come to him and say "wow, it looks like you are struggling at school. Lets work together to figure out how to help you succeed more in school". And continue this type of parenting. Because the reason why he lied was because he couldn't trust you with the truth. You will be able to work with him more, he will be more honest, and your relationship will grow.
We trusted our kid and believed him. So we just found out that our kid has been hiding his bad grades from us all this while. We confronted him after deep probing, but he felt sorry for this. It concerns us.
We are not sure, what did contribute to his behavior . We are in a dilemma to believe, what he says.
How will we help him to rebuild his credibility?
What are the strategies work to stop this behavior moving forward?
Thanks for sharing.
First order of business, get him a tutor. Imagine how desperately he felt to hide this from you. Obviously he needs some help on his homework. Do you and your spouse help him?
Lots of folks don't have time between work and household chores, so a tutor makes good sense.
Discuss the lying but don't focus on that, it seems obvious that lying is not the norm for him, or you wouldn't be so caught off guard. Try to explain how you could have gotten him help sooner, encourage him to never be afraid to talk to you. You can turn this around, and don't come down so heavy that you instill fear in him....it will be self defeating and make him afraid to ask you for help.
Check your local H.S. or College and hire a good tutor to help him get caught up....then once he catches up, keep the tutor on for less frequent help, or as needed. You can find a good tutor by calling the College or H.S. offices and asking.
Move forward with positivity. Depending on his age, either help him come up with a plan to improve grades (or come up with a plan for him- i.e., tutor, parent/teacher conference). What can he change? What kind of help does he need? Sit down with him and make a plan without judgment. It's got to be hard for him to talk about it and I'm sure he's not feeling hot about it. It's probably been making him miserable and weighing on him for a while. And check online grades if you can.
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