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You shouldn't be in this situation in the future, because he's now an adult, and you don't need to be monitoring his grades. If you are paying for college, I suppose you should know that he's passing, at least. Otherwise, back off. I thought we were talking about a kid.
Agreed. I also thought we were talking about a child. He's an adult. He needs to navigate this himself. If you are paying for all or part of college, you may want to tell him that you will only pay if he's passing everything. Other than that, you don't need to be involved.
My kids' schools have their grades online and my kids know that I check every other day AND get notifications on my phone about their grades. The rule in our house is that if a class's overall grade drops below a B, they lose all electronics until it's back up to a B - whether that takes 1 grade or 5 grades. I don't force my kids to be A students, necessarily.
Most times their grades drop because they fail to turn in work on time - rarely do they get low grades on actual projects, quizzes and tests.
If they DID have regular low grades because of not testing well or not knowing the material, I'd consider getting a tutor or meeting with the teacher to find out what alternative study methods they would recommend.
ETA upon reading the rest of the thread: Oh wait, the kid is in college? That's on him then. I agree with the previous poster - if he won't get good grades, you won't pay for college. That's the agreement I had with my parents (they also said they'd only help pay for four years, not five).
We trusted our kid and believed him. So we just found out that our kid has been hiding his bad grades from us all this while. We confronted him after deep probing, but he felt sorry for this. It concerns us.
We are not sure, what did contribute to his behavior . We are in a dilemma to believe, what he says.
How will we help him to rebuild his credibility?
What are the strategies work to stop this behavior moving forward?
Thanks for sharing.
He is clearly terrified of criticism for some reason and needs you to put all your attention on what he is doing well, especially any effort he is making to do well even if his grades remain low. The more effort he puts in, the better results he will get. Once you and he are focused on rewarding his efforts, his grades will come up, he will not have anything to hide and his credibility will improve on its own from there.
Colleges let parents access their children's grades? I thought that grades were confidential.
I think he showed his parents his grades. What he lied about were his AP scores. I think you have to get a 3 or a 4 for it to count for college credit. He probably got a 2.
We trusted our kid and believed him. So we just found out that our kid has been hiding his bad grades from us all this while. We confronted him after deep probing, but he felt sorry for this. It concerns us.
We are not sure, what did contribute to his behavior . We are in a dilemma to believe, what he says.
The video game machine is the likely culprit. I realize nothing is mentioned about video games in this thread, but 90% of the time, the root cause of bad grades can be traced to them.
What I would do is break the game machine and throw it in the trash can. In fact, set the machine on the ground, hand your son a sledge hammer, and make HIM break it. Refer to the video below so you'll know what I'm talking about:
I think he showed his parents his grades. What he lied about were his AP scores. I think you have to get a 3 or a 4 for it to count for college credit. He probably got a 2.
Many colleges will not accept a 3 for credit. Some schools require 5s and some schools don't give credit at all, but will let a student skip a class and go on to the next level. AP is not an assurance of college credit or of skipping courses. It depends on the particular school and what they will accept. Also, it is unlikely that they will accept an AP class for credit in the student's major area.
The video game machine is the likely culprit. I realize nothing is mentioned about video games in this thread, but 90% of the time, the root cause of bad grades can be traced to them.
What I would do is break the game machine and throw it in the trash can. In fact, set the machine on the ground, hand your son a sledge hammer, and make HIM break it. Refer to the video below so you'll know what I'm talking about:
The video game machine is the likely culprit. I realize nothing is mentioned about video games in this thread, but 90% of the time, the root cause of bad grades can be traced to them.
What I would do is break the game machine and throw it in the trash can. In fact, set the machine on the ground, hand your son a sledge hammer, and make HIM break it. Refer to the video below so you'll know what I'm talking about:
I don't think the OP even mentioned videogames so not sure why you are suggesting this.
Also, I've never understood exactly what the lesson is supposed to be in destroying/wasting something as a punishment. If videogames were an issue, put it away until the issue is resolved. If it is not resolved, I could see donating it eventually but destroying it seems to me a very wasteful way of making a point.
**yes, I realize the child in question is now in college, so it should be a non issue. This post caught my attention though and I've always wondered about this.**
We trusted our kid and believed him. So we just found out that our kid has been hiding his bad grades from us all this while. We confronted him after deep probing, but he felt sorry for this. It concerns us.
We are not sure, what did contribute to his behavior . We are in a dilemma to believe, what he says.
How will we help him to rebuild his credibility?
What are the strategies work to stop this behavior moving forward?
Thanks for sharing.
.If he does not make the grades,dont pay for his college.
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