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Did this work? i have the same problem with my son and its driving my crazy. i am going to give him 3 weeks, this takes us to sept 1 either get a full time job or go back to school full time, all he has is grade 10. i'm so worried about him
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Originally Posted by mtcarpenter
My 18 year year old quit school and is to lazy to find a job. He stays up until all hours of the night, sleeps half the day, and will not do his chores in a timely fashion. We have given the usual ultimatums, but to no avail. We told him that starting today, things are going to change. No one can come over, no going out, no computer....until he has started showing some motivation, responsibility, and finds a job. Can anyone me help with suggestions or relevant experiences? Any help will be greatly appreciated.
A good parent will, IMO, tell an 18 year old that if they're not in school or working then they won't just loaf at home doing nothing. It's time for a reality check if this kid thinks dropping out of high school is a good idea.
Well, it doesn't work that way. A two-year-old can operate in a household without responsibility. A four-year-old should have some. A ten-year-old should have a good deal more. And an eighteen-year-old should have a complete understanding of his responsibilities to the family and to himself. That kid doesn't learn it through osmosis. Or from the Responsibility Fairy at the magical age of 17. It is a day-in, day-out task on the part of the parent from the time the child emerges from the womb. Show me an 18-year-old with absolutely no sense of responsibility, and I'll show you a parent who utterly failed to do his or her job.
You are right, and my two year old actually helps me unload the dishwasher every morning. Sure it takes twice as long but she is learning, we are interacting, and she is proud of herself when she helps!
I coddled my oldest for too long. It's not always "lazy parenting" or neglect. I was a single mom working full time I felt guilty if the little time we had together wasn't pleasant and "quality time". It took me a couple years to realize I wasn't doing her any favors by being a friend and not a parent. It was certainly a struggle when I decided to change things around, but she has daily chores and now understands that she is part of a family-and everyone contributes to this household.
My 18 year old step-son recently joined our household. He sounds just like the original posters son,and I believe he needs some tough love. The problem is his mom would take him right back into her home if we booted him. Also dad has some guilt feelings for not always "being there" for his son. (mom moved constantly and rarely notified us of address or phone number changes). As stepmom I'm an easy target to hate and dad is easy to manipulate.
Don't know what to do-it is to the point where I want to move out because I just can't condone his behavior and I don't think it's healthy.
IMO, going the tough love route when the kid is 18 is a few years too late. For the most part, the folks who find themselves in this situation made their errors/missteps years before the predicament.
Boot them out, but not without some menial form of assistance. Occasional loaning of a car to get to work or help with finding an alternate place to live, etc.
Guys, this is a 5 yr old thread, I'm sure the situation has long been resolved (if it was ever legit).
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