Employees correcting kids in public (teaching, have to tell, autism, spank)
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Yesterday, I was riding the bus to church. While I was on the bus, a child was screaming. The bus driver put her foot down and said, "Excuse me, you can't be screaming on the bus like that!" I give the bus driver credit for picking up on the mother's slack because no one is going to tolerate a screaming child.
It beats me as to how parents just ingnore their screaming kids. I was in Wal Mart and there was a screaming kid and I took a peek to see if something was wrong... the Mom was not even paying any attention to the kid, completely ignoring the fact that he was screaming. That child screamed like that for over a hour. To me that was so cruel to the child and downright rude to everyone else in the store. Mine were never allowed to act like that in public and were taken out to the car immediately, even if it meant walking off and leaving a full cart. People just ignore their kids when they act like that inflicting that on the rest of us. RUDE! RUDE! RUDE!
Yesterday, I was riding the bus to church. While I was on the bus, a child was screaming. The bus driver put her foot down and said, "Excuse me, you can't be screaming on the bus like that!" I give the bus driver credit for picking up on the mother's slack because no one is going to tolerate a screaming child.
Good for that bus driver. Not only is that child bothering every one else on the bus but he/she is distracting the bus driver therefore putting everyone else on that bus in danger. It drives me crazy when parents don't control their children in public. I have had my children behave badly in restaurants and have quickly asked for a to go box and left. I have left a cart of groceries in the store when my child has refused to behave. And guess what??? They only did it once or twice before they got the message that I was not going to tolerate their behavior. It is not fair that the rest of us are subjected to others unruly children because they lack parenting skills.
They only did it once or twice before they got the message that I was not going to tolerate their behavior.
That's the key! You have to nip it in the bud to begin with! The first time mine decided to "pitch a fit" (as we so lovingly call it in the south!), I picked them right up off the floor and let them know in no uncertain terms I would not tolerate that behavior and it put a stop to it right then and there. If we were in a restaurant, it meant a trip to the bathroom with my hubby... where they stayed until they decided to behave. Ya gotta love 'em... but at the same time let them know immediately what's what!
Good for that bus driver. Not only is that child bothering every one else on the bus but he/she is distracting the bus driver therefore putting everyone else on that bus in danger. It drives me crazy when parents don't control their children in public. I have had my children behave badly in restaurants and have quickly asked for a to go box and left. I have left a cart of groceries in the store when my child has refused to behave. And guess what??? They only did it once or twice before they got the message that I was not going to tolerate their behavior. It is not fair that the rest of us are subjected to others unruly children because they lack parenting skills.
Yeap. If we started acting up, dad took us to the car and gave us a few minutes to calm down. If not, we sat out there until everyone else was finished, and we went home.
I do have to say though, at some point, this backfired a little, as I now find myself unable to get emotions out. I think because I associate it with a lack of control, and I just can't handle that.
I get looks and comments a lot. My daughter is autistic and has little fits over anything from seeing the Halloween isle (scares her to death) at a store, to strangers talking and touching her. She is getting better and rarely has public fits anymore now that she is able to talk and communicate her needs. But there was a time that every perfect parent let me know how crappy my parenting skills were in their opinion. There were many days when I had to leave a full shopping cart to take her outside. Sometimes she was able to calm down and we could reclaim our cart with lots of looks from everyone around, but many times I had to leave it and shop on a day when I could leave her home with my husband. I have never let her carry on in a public area, though I have had to pick her up and walk through a crowd so we could leave with her screaming.
One thing that always bugs me is when I am correcting her behavior and a well meaning stranger interrupts to give me a piece of parenting advice. I have to hold her chin up and say "Look at my face,(she cannot make eye contact very well) use your words and tell me what you need. No whining, use your words.' They will butt in and say she needs her butt spanked, I should be ashamed of myself for letting her blurt out odd things, etc. I usually explain she has autism and I am teaching her appropriate behavior in a crowded place. Usually that is enough and they back off. Others will say, she can't be autistic, aren't they all like Rain Man? A few people have made mean remarks about her being a retard. I think some of the hardest years of her disability are behind us. But I always worry she will have a meltdown in public and usually make a note in my mind where the nearest exit is.
I agree 100% with inthesierras. Don't be so quick to judge. I have two children with special needs and meltdowns have been a daily part of my life for the past decade. I've abruptly left too many public places to count. But if they were doing it somewhere like a bus, I defy any adult to try to stop it with mere words.... Of course, I would try to avoid a situation like taking a bus with total strangers anyhow.
I quote the OP: "No one is going to tolerate a screaming child." - You never know whether that screaming child has a physical or mental/emotional disability. Are we going to go back to the days where those children were kept behind closed doors and/or institutionalized? And what does this say about those on the bus, riding to church? I thought most religions preach tolerance and understanding?
I agree 100% with inthesierras. Don't be so quick to judge. I have two children with special needs and meltdowns have been a daily part of my life for the past decade. I've abruptly left too many public places to count. But if they were doing it somewhere like a bus, I defy any adult to try to stop it with mere words.... Of course, I would try to avoid a situation like taking a bus with total strangers anyhow.
I quote the OP: "No one is going to tolerate a screaming child." - You never know whether that screaming child has a physical or mental/emotional disability. Are we going to go back to the days where those children were kept behind closed doors and/or institutionalized? And what does this say about those on the bus, riding to church? I thought most religions preach tolerance and understanding?
Karen I agree fully with you. People should not be quick to judge.
I have seen it in the family. Sometimes it is the age of the child, the age when tantrums come in leaps and bounds........the mother knows full well what is going on. Believe me she is just as embarrassed as can be.
Some advice is to leave the child screaming and ignor......so they know it is not getting them anywhere.....that type of behavior.
It is difficult for Moms.....out and about, trying to get their chores accomplished.
When I hear a child in a store. I think about times like that that I had......
It was not fun. I was so upset by it. I really feel for the Mom and what is happening. A kind smile, and understanding ,is much better then acting like this is the only child you've heard like this. Most of us have heard plenty over time.
My youngest once had a hugely purple eye, all puffed up from falling down a set of steps. We take her to the restaurant and she started crying and acting up. I took her into the ladies room, so as not to disturb the other patrons. It was difficult for me to have to tell all the "onlookers" that ......she had fallen down the steps previously......because standing there screaming like that, it sure looked like I "gave her the purple, black eye" but.....I did not......Oh so embarrassed....was I.
We all know that children have temper tantrums. We all know that they can happen in public. It is the WAY the parents choose to deal with the issue that bothers others. My children knew from the time they were old enough to understand that if they threw a fit in public we would go home and they would have consequences. I agree that ignoring the behavior is a good tool to use WHEN YOU ARE HOME. Ignoring the behavior in public is ridiculous. Remove the child from the situation and try again later. If you have a special needs child and you are trying to deal with the situation by talking to them and calming them down then you are not ignoring the situation. Just strolling down the isle with a screaming toddler pretending like nothing is wrong is a totally different story. To the poster with the child with the black eye, if I saw you in public disciplining your child I, for one, would not assume that you had given your child the black eye. I frequently use public restrooms as a place to take my children to give them a chance to "collect themselves" before we throw in the towel and head for home. And don't think for one minute that once we get home they get to play and do what they want.... they know that if we have to leave because of behavior then when we get home they will either do chores (for the older 2) or take a nap (for the younger one).
If you have a special needs child and you are trying to deal with the situation by talking to them and calming them down then you are not ignoring the situation. Just strolling down the isle with a screaming toddler pretending like nothing is wrong is a totally different story.
It's good to see another parent say that. You might be surprised at how many people are ready to jump on a parent even if they are taking care of the tantrum.
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