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For those of you who say "I will be the one to discipline my child, no one else is going to do it" fine and dandy. Good luck to you and your child, you are going to be together for a very LONG time. Your child will never learn to take any kind of criticism or correction from anyone but you. You better plan on homeschooling because these type of parents drive us teachers CRAZY. You also better plan on having your child live with you for the rest of your life because they won't ever be able to hold a job. As soon as the boss "corrects them" they will run crying home to mommy. You may think your child is cute, adorable and absolutely perfect.... and you should. You also need to realize that the rest of us don't have to feel that way and won't if you are raising an undisciplined, spoiled rotten brat. I don't care how "cute" you think it is hearing your child "squeal" on a bus, plane or whatever, the rest of us don't have that emotional attachment to that child and it is just plain annoying. Everything your child does is not wonderful and perfect and if you don't teach them that don't worry, the REAL WORLD will but they won't do it with the care and love that you will. It is YOUR JOB as a PARENT to teach your children respect of others and manners. What might be cute at home is not cute in public. To many parents think that the world is in love with their child. Get over yourselves and start being parents. I can't tell you how many parents I have come into my classroom with their child wanting to argue a grade or a missing assignment mark. Are these same parents going to call in sick to work for their child too? Or argue with their childs boss about how much they need to make? These are life skills and you child will learn them one way or another. It is up to you as a parent to decide if you will teach them or if you will let the world do it. I guarantee you will do it in a much more loving, nurturing way than the police officer, Judge or Irate Boss that many of these children are destined to run into if things keep going the way they are.
Competely disagree with this post. The child will grow up to be well-adjusted adult if he feels secure with the parent in the very early childhood. Some bus driver getting involved and a correcting a small child in front of everyone is NOT constructive criticism. It will not teach a child discipline and will not send the positive message. The driver could have just addressed the parent saying: "i'm sorry, but it's very distracting to drive with this much noise". NO need to humiliate a child.
Real world starts in your own family. If you own mother is not going to stick up for you and then positively correct you, is a very negative real world for this child.
Competely disagree with this post. The child will grow up to be well-adjusted adult if he feels secure with the parent in the very early childhood. Some bus driver getting involved and a correcting a small child in front of everyone is NOT constructive criticism. It will not teach a child discipline and will not send the positive message. The driver could have just addressed the parent saying: "i'm sorry, but it's very distracting to drive with this much noise". NO need to humiliate a child.
Real world starts in your own family. If you own mother is not going to stick up for you and then positively correct you, is a very negative real world for this child.
You are 100% wrong. Kids will nearly always listen to and respond better to almost anyone other than their parents, because they learn early on that their parents don't often mean what they say.
Of course, I would have addressed the parent as well: 'get off my bus and walk. You and your kid have no right to endanger the lives of the rest of the people on this bus."
That is the real world. Calling it 'negative' won't change anything. Kids might as well get used to it.
You are 100% wrong. Kids will nearly always listen to and respond better to almost anyone other than their parents, because they learn early on that their parents don't often mean what they say.
Of course, I would have addressed the parent as well: 'get off my bus and walk. You and your kid have no right to endanger the lives of the rest of the people on this bus."
That is the real world. Calling it 'negative' won't change anything. Kids might as well get used to it.
I agree that kids often respond better to other adults saying something. I know mine did. I'll NEVER stop saying something to a child (not a baby or lil toddler) that is acting up and endangering others. If the parents refuse to do something about and and condone the poor behavior as often they are doing it right in front of their parents..... then you better believe I'll play the responsible grown up. I have yet to have a kid keep on doing something once I said something to them. The so-called parents in these cases are not even worth wasting my breath saying something to them as they still won't get it or get deffensive like max's mama says she would. As I told about the encounters I had recently in the store from two different parenting styles it was OBVIOUS the kids already knew the parents did not mean business at all and they were not going to suffer any consequences for their poor behavior. They actually thought it was funny dad had to come get him or that mom was yelling at them.
The bus driver has A LOT more experience than you do in dealing w/ screaming kids and she has probably learned from it that it usually takes the person in ultimate authority of that bus moving or not being the one to say something.
I've had plenty of teacher friends that have had parent conferences w/ the parents of kids acting up and they have literally said to their face, "but he is so cute". BUT YOUR KID IS PREVENTING ME FROM TEACHING EVERY OTHER KID IN MY CLASSROOM THAT I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR! These are the parents that the teachers learn to despise and they dread having those kids in their classrooms.
BTW, someone else mentioned the future employer. I can tell you from experience we have seen that too. Sad, VERY SAD!!! Grown adults that still need mommy and daddy to take up for them because the boss talked "ugly" to them.
You are 100% wrong. Kids will nearly always listen to and respond better to almost anyone other than their parents, because they learn early on that their parents don't often mean what they say.
Of course, I would have addressed the parent as well: 'get off my bus and walk. You and your kid have no right to endanger the lives of the rest of the people on this bus."
That is the real world. Calling it 'negative' won't change anything. Kids might as well get used to it.
It is too bad that the assumption is the kid always will listen to a stranger before his own parent, that's what's wrong with parenting today.
A driver absolutely cannot kick off a parent with a child from the bus because a child is crying.
Sorry - we will just have to agree to disagree with that.
I am glad to see that there are still people who behave intelligently.
I do believe that all situations are unique, and there are times when another adult addressing your child would be appropriate. I do call in to question HOW the adult addresses the child. If the adult takes a concerned caring approach, then fine. If the adult tries to humiliate the child or acts from his own immaturity, then not fine.
Lets not forget who the adults are in the situation. We don't want to raise a bunch of angry confrontational kids.
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama
It is too bad that the assumption is the kid always will listen to a stranger before his own parent, that's what's wrong with parenting today.
A driver absolutely cannot kick off a parent with a child from the bus because a child is crying.
Sorry - we will just have to agree to disagree with that.
Respect your elders, isn't that what the kids who were diddled by their priests were told. Respect your elders if they are respectful of you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrumMom
Good for that bus driver! As a mother of two under five years I can tell you that although it's our responsibilty to keep our kids well-behaved, sometimes it really helps to have another authority figure tell our kids off. I personally have no problem with it. Parents today are sooo protective of their kids, if their child gets told off my a teacher the parent naturally bounds up to the school to yell at the teacher for upsetting poor little Johny....well, in my day, if I came home and told my mother that a teacher told me off she'd probably have given me a whack over the head for disrespecting the teacher...not that I'm advocating violence....Respect your elders.
As a waitress, I often had to correct children and their parents. Often, when the children run wild, it is dangerous. For them and other guests.
I would often tell children they had to go back to their seats. When there, I would tell the parents they needed to keep them there. Often, I had to speak to the child first, because they were so far from their table, I had no idea who their parents were.
But when I did, I sure did speak to the parents too. And sometimes (often?) the parents would claim what their kids did wasn't dangerous and that kids couldn't be expected to stay in their seats while they were waiting for their food. And just how freakin' perfect their kids were.
Without a doubt, I would then suggest they not bring the kids out, because it is dangerous (hot drinks! hot food! silverware!) And I didn't really care if they were offended or not. I'd rather live with offending some horrible parent than live with the guilt of a kid getting hurt on my shift.
And there were a few parents there the day I got serious burns on my chest & stomach when a rude adult shoved past me while I was carrying a pot of coffee. I remember those parents, because they saw how badly I was hurt and they never let their kids run wild again.
I will be honestly amazed if our country does not collapse as the children of parents around here grow up and take over! When did it become ok for children to run things? When did adults lose the upper hand in situations? We are so concerned about self esteem and hurting their feelings that they aren't being taught basic life skills like coping with disappointment, making decisions, accepting that there are consequences for choices, etc. Not all children can play sports; not all children are going to be academically gifted; different people have different skills. If we don't teach them limits and help them to understand these things now, where will they be in the future? If another adult corrects a child in a calm, rational manner, it will not be the end of their self esteem. Nor will it humiliate them. It may humiliate the parent which is more likely. We always tell our children to be on their best behavior when they are with other people so why wouldn't they 'listen' to another adult over their parents? I guess I'm lucky that I'm surrounded by other adults that I trust to help me with my child. If he's doing something wrong, I want someone to correct him. If I'm there, I will do it. I think it all boils down to whether the parent is trying to deal with the situation. If they are, I'd never say a word. If they weren't, I'd say something. If the parent didn't like it, I'd have no problem telling them why I said something. We all have our own opinions and that's what makes this forum really cool.
I will be honestly amazed if our country does not collapse as the children of parents around here grow up and take over! When did it become ok for children to run things? When did adults lose the upper hand in situations? We are so concerned about self esteem and hurting their feelings that they aren't being taught basic life skills like coping with disappointment, making decisions, accepting that there are consequences for choices, etc. Not all children can play sports; not all children are going to be academically gifted; different people have different skills. If we don't teach them limits and help them to understand these things now, where will they be in the future? If another adult corrects a child in a calm, rational manner, it will not be the end of their self esteem. Nor will it humiliate them. It may humiliate the parent which is more likely. We always tell our children to be on their best behavior when they are with other people so why wouldn't they 'listen' to another adult over their parents? I guess I'm lucky that I'm surrounded by other adults that I trust to help me with my child. If he's doing something wrong, I want someone to correct him. If I'm there, I will do it. I think it all boils down to whether the parent is trying to deal with the situation. If they are, I'd never say a word. If they weren't, I'd say something. If the parent didn't like it, I'd have no problem telling them why I said something. We all have our own opinions and that's what makes this forum really cool.
Amen to this!!
I agree 100%
Some parents are just too stuck on 'let kids be kids.' If I let my son do every "kid" idea that came to mind, I would be in one heck of a bad situation!
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BUT YOUR KID IS PREVENTING ME FROM TEACHING EVERY OTHER KID IN MY CLASSROOM THAT I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR! These are the parents that the teachers learn to despise and they dread having those kids in their classrooms.
