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With my older kids, I was in pretty good shape. I pllayed rough with them, ran miles and miles with them, went on all day (20 hours) hikes, long canoe trips, bike rides, tennis, play catch, built things for them, I could do heavy physical work for 10 hours on Saturday and then go play or run or whatever for another four hours. . . . .
Now my youngest is 17. For the past several years, my back and knees have been failing. Sometimes i have to have my wife tie my shoes for me or help me put on underwear. Since I cannot exercise much, I struggle with weight and general health. I still camp canoe etc, but they have to do pretty much everything. They have to help me get out of the canoe at the end of the day or for lunch and it takes quite a while until I can unfold and stand up. If I sit in a camp chair, they sometimes have to help me get up. I can still do hard work for a few hours as long as there is little bending and lifting. However I cannot do 80 % of the things I did with the older kids when they were younger. If I spend a half day with the chainsaw cutting up logs, I am on my back for the rest of the day unable to do much of anything. Sometimes the next day too. I feel like he is cheated. While I may have learned better parenting skills in some ways that may benefit him, I am not the tough strong, fun, seemingly invincible dad the other kids had. It is also hard for me to convey the importance of a good work ethic when I usually have to stand and watch people work at volunteer events, or maybe work for a few hours and then leave early or just have to watch for a while.
I finally got an appointment with an orthopedic specialist. Hopefully he can fix me and Q can have a better dad for his last high school year and college. He probably has little or no memory of the old version of me.
My grandfather suffered from Polio. He sired 7 children. None of them thought LESS of him as a DAD. Not a single one ever disrespected or considered him LESS of a Dad due to his immobility. Yes they did "resent" that they had to do more around the house and towards his senior days....He was housebound. It was then that I came along as his granddaughter and became his Little care giver. I never minded walking him to the bathroom or getting him his nightly pills...He was my grand dad, and I loved every moment of laughter we shared. I seriously think Him just being around, to listen, to share wisdom, and sometimes to teach me things. Yes he was "out of shape", that happens with this malady. But his mind was in shape and his determination even more so! I was the last person to be with him when he passed. At ten years young, that was a moment that defined my life....
My grandfather suffered from Polio. He sired 7 children. None of them thought LESS of him as a DAD. Not a single one ever disrespected or considered him LESS of a Dad due to his immobility. Yes they did "resent" that they had to do more around the house and towards his senior days....He was housebound. It was then that I came along as his granddaughter and became his Little care giver. I never minded walking him to the bathroom or getting him his nightly pills...He was my grand dad, and I loved every moment of laughter we shared. I seriously think Him just being around, to listen, to share wisdom, and sometimes to teach me things. Yes he was "out of shape", that happens with this malady. But his mind was in shape and his determination even more so! I was the last person to be with him when he passed. At ten years young, that was a moment that defined my life....
No, he was not out of shape. He was disabled. Not.the.same.thing.
I think all of us intelligent adults here on Parenting can agree there is a HUGE difference between being out of shape and being disabled. This is a false comparison that the OP didn't make and designed to take away from the actual topic. That topic is being out of shape - NOT having a disability, major health issues like a bad back or an autoimmune disease.
The topic is should people feel like less of a parent because they can't do certain things with their kids, it doesn't really matter if the reason is this or that.
The topic is should people feel like less of a parent because they can't do certain things with their kids, it doesn't really matter if the reason is this or that.
Indeed. But its just fat shaming. And that is acceptable to many people. Starting a thread saying "would you feel like less of a parent if you" had to work full time, had depression, had a disability, had to travel for work, etc would not be acceptable.
The topic is should people feel like less of a parent because they can't do certain things with their kids, it doesn't really matter if the reason is this or that.
It does to me. Or maybe it's the choice of the word CAN'T. Would *I* feel like less of a parent if I did not put in the effort to get things out of the CAN'T category that don't belong there so that I can do what my kids need. Yup. *I* would.
Indeed. But its just fat shaming. And that is acceptable to many people. Starting a thread saying "would you feel like less of a parent if you" had to work full time, had depression, had a disability, had to travel for work, etc would not be acceptable.
Someone must be overweight and highly sensitive about it to put so many words in so many mouths on this thread.
Indeed. But its just fat shaming. And that is acceptable to many people. Starting a thread saying "would you feel like less of a parent if you" had to work full time, had depression, had a disability, had to travel for work, etc would not be acceptable.
?
Are you kidding me? Of course those threads are acceptable - indeed some of those things have been discussed right here.
Despite your transparent attempt to mix up voluntary (choice or work, choice of travel-involved job, choice of daily calorie consumption over 10 years of your life, choice of keeping fit for parenthood or lack thereof) and involuntary (disability, depression) features and to then pretend they are equally all somehow out of one's control:
Here's the issue
if you can voluntarily control X, and X impairs your ability or parent, do you feel bad or not about that?
So I was at the water park today in a lazy river and a little boy wanted in. He got into the kid sized tune but the dad was too heavy to fit into the adult size tube. The dad looked a little disappointed in the situation. He was too heavy to do something that basic!
Would you feel like less of a parent if you couldn't do little things like that with your kid because of your weight?
Reposting OP. He says nothing about disabilities and the thread title contains the phrase "out of shape." This thread has NOTHING to do with disabilities.
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