Would you be a better parent if you spent more money on your kid? (daycare, support)
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My wife and I live a relatively thrifty life - other than owning a nice home (which I consider an investment) and a quality learning center aka daycare for my kid, we don't spend a lot on her. A basic set of toys for her to play with, used furniture for her room, and sufficient clothes from the variety store. We provide a couple of extracurricural activiteis for her like music and dance. She has lots of books from the library but we don't purchase a lot of books.
We do quite a few family activities that require gas money - camping, hiking, skiing, etc where there is a family bonding component.
Other parents that we know spend much more heavily - lots of educational electronic learning toys like Leapfrog, play structures in back yard, video games, fake kitchen appliances, more activities, etc, etc.
My question is - do children whose parents spend heavily on them to provide experiences turn out better than those who choose to live a more thrifty lifestyle?
I find children whose parents don't judge other parents for their parenting choices tend to do well. Sets a good precedent for a healthy lifestyle. Parents who do lots of self congratulatory back patting tend to be the most shocked when their kids make poor decisions. And they will eventually make a poor decision or two. Perfect parents get fewer in number as kids age. There tend to be a lot of them with kids in preschool.
Money has nothing to do with the level of parenting one can do.
There are parents from all income levels who are good parents and there are those who are bad parents.
I can't even imagine thinking that money can buy a good parent.
I find children whose parents don't judge other parents for their parenting choices tend to do well. Sets a good precedent for a healthy lifestyle. Parents who do lots of self congratulatory back patting tend to be the most shocked when their kids make poor decisions. And they will eventually make a poor decision or two. Perfect parents get fewer in number as kids age. There tend to be a lot of them with kids in preschool.
My question is - do children whose parents spend heavily on them to provide experiences turn out better than those who choose to live a more thrifty lifestyle?
No.
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom
I find children whose parents don't judge other parents for their parenting choices tend to do well. Sets a good precedent for a healthy lifestyle. Parents who do lots of self congratulatory back patting tend to be the most shocked when their kids make poor decisions. And they will eventually make a poor decision or two. Perfect parents get fewer in number as kids age. There tend to be a lot of them with kids in preschool.
No, spending more money does not make anyone a better parent. Having sufficient learning tools, and appropriate clothing for weather would be a cost some parents don't indulge enough in. But like you said, books from the library are absolutely fine in comparison to shopping at Barnes and Nobles.
My husband came home juding our daughters friend yesterday when they went sledding, and at first I was telling him to keep an open mind. For example, the kid sledding was using an old fiberglass piece of boat to sled on, while our daughter has a true sled (cost 14.99).To me, those parents were resourceful as it doesnt snow very often here to validate the cost of a sled, so the fiberglass was a good idea to me. He said the kids sock were soaking wet... i explained that snow is actually water... that again does not make his parents bad parents. But then he told me, the kid did not have boots on, not even sneakers, more like loafers, plus he had no hat. Now... granted, I don't know if his parents were home when he got dressed or what, but to me having boots to go in the snow are important. My daughter had a scarf, hat, boots, and gloves on. He made her put a 2nd pair on socks on worrying her feet would get cold. They are both 8 years old.
That is the only time being thrifty would concern me.
My question is - do children whose parents spend heavily on them to provide experiences turn out better than those who choose to live a more thrifty lifestyle?
Your question is kind of off.
It's not a. spend more vs b. spend less that makes you better.
IT IS THE TIME you spend with your kids that makes all the difference.
All the money you spend on daycare can't hold a candle to the benefits and great experiences your kid would have if you spent that time with her instead.
Same with game systems, etc.
My 2 year old has access to anything in the world. What really floats his boat is time with us, outside, throwing acorns or counting rocks or waving at the school bus. Time inside, reading a book, practicing colors, building blocks, playing with cars. There is no toy we could buy that would make him as happy and benefit him as much.
Money is great for kids in that it gets them shelter, good quality food, basic health care, and a safe environment. After that, it's face time with parents that makes the biggest difference. And that's what counts as good parenting in my book.
OP, hate to burst your bubble but the older they get, the more expensive they get. It's easy when they are little to be so thrifty, but as they get older and have interests outside of what you can always control.....not always the case.
When our son was little we were thrifty because we had little money. As he got older and had interests and things he was passionate about, we absolutely did whatever we could (and can) to support that. And some of those things were rather expensive. But I truly believe they did help him develop into who he is today - which is someone we are beyond proud of.
I don't think one way of parenting is better than the other - each family is different and has to do what works for them and that particular child.
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