Do you stop the play fights between the children?

[gimme it]

I'm one of those moms who says, "Stop, before someone gets hurt". I know it's normal for kids to playfight, but it makes me nervous, especially when I'm the one in charge, for example, I'm hosting the playdate.

[aidxen]

When we were kids we had fights and there were elaborate rules about what was fair and not fair and honourable.

These days with parents controlling everything so much more, I wonder whether kids would develop these rules.

In any case we do not allow our daughters to engage in rough play so it would be only be the boys who might get into this but so far they do not seem to have.

[NJGOAT]

Originally Posted by aidxen

When we were kids we had fights and there were elaborate rules about what was fair and not fair and honourable.

Isn't it amazing how a pack of kids can seemingly spontaneously recreate the Queensbury Rules.

I think playfighting is fine and is a very natural part of being a boy. There are limits and trust me, you will know when they get crossed as there will be screaming and loud protests from the one who was wronged. Getting the occasional "injury" is just par for the course.

Eliminating play fighting is IMO one of the biggest issues in terms of the feminizing of boys.

[elamigo]

Originally Posted by reute

I'm sorry for the bad english, my mother thong is not the english language,

My son (8 age) have a good friend who live near us, and he comes almost every day to play with my son.
They have lots of toys and games to play with, but almost always finely they begin with the play fights, what would you do if you see your son lay flat on the floor and his friend who is stronger then him sit on him untill he gives up?
Of course i hate to see them fight, even it's just a play fight. I want to stop it but i continent, i don't know if that is the right thing to do. And maybe i have to let them fight?
My son too don't want me to stop the game, he told me that he like to fight.
What do you think about that?

today i understand why i want just daughters, but right now i have just two sons :-)

reute

I did stop fights between children. However, boys do look at fighting to settle issues. It is difficult to know when it is Ok and when it is not at times. Do you stop destructive comment between girls? Girls can be very mean verbally. Actually at times the verbal fights between girls can be more hurting. Boys may have their fight and go on to have a soda or ice cream. Girls can be so mean for days, or months verbally to other girls, take care.

[DewDropInn]

Originally Posted by haggardhouseelf

Hi Reute,

I have two boys, too. I don't allow my boys and their friends to play fight, so I offer them alternatives, here are some ideas:

- nerf gun battles
- water balloon fights
- water gun fights
- water hose fights
- playing the wii (They like to do the wii boxing game... they are still "fighting" each other, but only on the game so no one can actually get hurt. Also - they wear themselves out and get exercise. )

Sorry, haggardhouseelf, but I am simply overwhelmed with curiosity. If you won't let them play fight why do you let them shoot nerf guns and water guns at each other? There's a certain amount of aggression displayed in playing with nerf and water guns. Is it just the physical aspect of play fighting you don't like?

[NEOhioBound]

No, if they truly are playing fighting, no I would not.

I remember when we were growing up, my twin brother and I made a wrestling cage in the backyard with ropes and all and would have play WWF matches. Was a great way to get in some exercise and have fun with friends

[PScience]

I do agree that, too rough, horse play has to nipped in the butt. But boys will be boys and stopping it completely would be unfair. There has to be limits, as in anything. I hope you found a happy medium.


www.paretingscience.webs.com (broken link)