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If one child if pummelling another and you as an adult do nothing to stop the fight, that is called child abuse in the United States.
I don't think so. When an adult is pummeling a child it would be called child abuse. When little boys play rough it's called little boys playing rough. Many little boys enjoy this type of physical play. Let's not blow things out of proportion.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by reute
I'm sorry for the bad english, my mother thong is not the english language,
My son (8 age) have a good friend who live near us, and he comes almost every day to play with my son.
They have lots of toys and games to play with, but almost always finely they begin with the play fights, what would you do if you see your son lay flat on the floor and his friend who is stronger then him sit on him untill he gives up?
Of course i hate to see them fight, even it's just a play fight. I want to stop it but i continent, i don't know if that is the right thing to do. And maybe i have to let them fight?
My son too don't want me to stop the game, he told me that he like to fight.
What do you think about that?
today i understand why i want just daughters, but right now i have just two sons :-)
reute
Personally, I think play fighting is part of the natural order. If no one is crying or bleeding it shouldn't be a problem. Confidence later in life is built in childhood through male-male interaction and "fight tests", as are deep male bonds, so I don't see a problem with letting boys be boys as you described above. If it gets too rough they need a correction about "rough play in the house" and need to be sent outside.
For the boy who is always the victor, playfighting can be quite a confidence builder. For the boy who is sometimes the victor, sometimes the loser, I'd assume playfighting can just something to pass a few bored moments. But what about the child who is perpetually the "loser", how does playfighting affect him?
I raised a son (only child) who never really did a lot of playfighting with his friends. He took martial arts classes (black belt), so maybe his friends were a bit leery of playfighting with him . And perhaps he got his "playfighting fix" during sparring matches.
We used to have neighbors who were avid WWF fans and their kids always wanted to "wrestle". My son went to play with them a few times but thought the whole thing was rather stupid (that's literally ALL they wanted to do), so he stopped going over there. He actually said to me, "Mom, someone could get hurt! Don't they see that???"
My own kids play wrestle to a point, then usually my littler one ends up crying over something, so I usually put a stop to it within a few minutes.
My eight year old son wrestles and play-fights with his friends, though, and I don't stop it. They're all around the same size, and no one has gotten hurt as of yet. It seems to be a universal thing... we visited Germany a couple of years ago, and he played with some non-English-speaking boys (and we do not speak German). Within several minutes, they were laughing and wrestling.
I remember my brothers wrestling when we were kids too, and neither one is violent or attempts to wrestle at family get-togethers now. I think it's something normal and natural in young boys, and that they outgrow it eventually.
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8,286 posts, read 38,944,826 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nelly Nomad
For the boy who is always the victor, playfighting can be quite a confidence builder. For the boy who is sometimes the victor, sometimes the loser, I'd assume playfighting can just something to pass a few bored moments. But what about the child who is perpetually the "loser", how does playfighting affect him?
I raised a son (only child) who never really did a lot of playfighting with his friends. He took martial arts classes (black belt), so maybe his friends were a bit leery of playfighting with him . And perhaps he got his "playfighting fix" during sparring matches.
We used to have neighbors who were avid WWF fans and their kids always wanted to "wrestle". My son went to play with them a few times but thought the whole thing was rather stupid (that's literally ALL they wanted to do), so he stopped going over there. He actually said to me, "Mom, someone could get hurt! Don't they see that???"
That's an interesting thought. Here's my spin on it...
The toughest S.O.B. I ever met was the youngest of 4 brothers. He spent his entire youth pinned by his brothers getting knots rubbed into the hair on his arms and being on the receiving end of "Noogies".
He's now completely unafraid of any man or beast. He also plays for the Titans.
To me, being bullied is one thing but learning about your body and your relative strengths and weaknesses is another. Sometimes little guys will actually learn that their greatest strength lies in never quitting even in the face of overwhelming force.
Practical experience and strength of character comes from trial and error much faster than it comes from being set up to succeed.
I see nothing wrong with it. It is part of being a boy and normal and natural.
My son and his best friend who was on the wrestling team used to do it all the time. Friend would try to teach son the moves and they both enjoyed it. Nobody ever got hurt and I think it is an acceptable bonding exercise for boys.
My boys wrestle all the time, I will usually let it go for awhile but if I see it going to far I will stop it, however I am not to sure how I would feel about my sons and friends doing this, especially at that age. I think my hesitation is that this friend is not my child and I would feel really bad if they go hurt accidently in my home.
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. And perhaps he got his "playfighting fix" during sparring matches.
