Our 16 year old grandson will visit us with his Smart Phone, iPad and MP player. Long ago when he started spending time here I showed him, this is the laundry basket dirty clothes go in here not your bedroom floor. This is your bed, this is how to make up your bed. This is my kitchen, this is the trash can, this is a dish cloth, this is paper towels. You are welcome to eat anything you want but don't leave a mess in my kitchen. This info was not given in a demanding or mean way, just stating the facts and telling him his mother, aunt and uncle when they lived here followed the same routine as teens.
To this day he will still ask before eating anything and will pop whatever he wants in the microwave or toaster oven. Then he cleans up his mess. He cuts our grass, we watch movies together, I will even sit through an Adam Sandler movie with him (torture for me.) I laid out all the house rules long ago.
His mom and dad do not receive the same treatment, dirty clothes crammed under his bed, food in his bedroom. Daughter always wants to know how do you do this. I have never had to tell him again he just does it. Yes, he gets to texting on his phone and completely zones out with that phone or he has his ears plugged up listening to music on his MP player and he is in another world. But that is his world.
Right now we are going through wanting to drive. He got his permit and I let him drive me to the grocery store or the mall as I hang on to my car door.
He finally understands why you can't turn left on a red light when it's ok to turn right on red if no traffic is coming.
He is a tee-total typical teenager, moody, sometimes total silence, does wheelies on his dirt bike when he thinks no adult is watching. But he knows the rules of our home and when he leaves to go home his bedroom is clean, no crumbs all over my kitchen counters, no soft drink cans sitting around.
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