Your kids First Time!!! (minors, lawsuit, activity, 2 years old)
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(haven't read the tread yet, but definately will!)
I have always told my kids that having sex with the wrong person or unprotected sex, pregnant is not the WORST thing that can happen.
I talk to my kids alot, and I try to teach them how to make good choices. Including this topic.
I've pointed out condoms to them in supermarkets (while waiting for the pharmacy...it wasn't a field trip to find the condoms!) so I know that they know where to buy them.
Would I want to? NO. Would I want them to have sex at that age? NO.
BUT. They will do it with or without the condoms. If I say it's their responsibility- most likely they won't buy them, and it would probably be out of embarrassment. They will do it anyway. I can't lock them in their room. They can do it anywhere: in school (yep, knew kids who did), outside, friends house, in the woods, in a car, in an alley- you can't be with your child 24/7 and if they want to find a place, believe me- they will.
I'd rather them have sex with condoms then sex without and lead the way to pregnancy, sexual diseases.
Of course I will have a nice ole talk with them, show them pictures of teen moms/dads, what sexual diseases look like....but I would rather them be protected than not, since where there's a will, there's a way.
EXACTLY. I listened in disbelief as one of my coworkers, who had a sixteen-year-old daughter, told us that her daughter was dating a boy so she had strongly told her daughter to "make sure she keeps her legs together". She was a grandmother before her daughter turned 18. YOU THOUGHT THAT LITTLE "TALK" WAS GOING TO WORK??????
My daughter was going with the same boy since 9th grade. I had told her that if she needed to go on birth control, to let me know and that it would be preferable if she did so before, if it came to the point where they were that serious. Just after her sixteenth birthday, she came to me and asked if I could find her a doctor in our health insurance network because there wasn't much "before" time left (I suspect they went for the 2-year anniversary). I took her the first time, but she is responsible for making and going to her subsequent appointments, getting her prescription, etc. She's 18 now and in college. Same boyfriend, too.
As a sidebar, I held up her high-school-drop-out cousin with the four kids by two different men who has never been married as a horrible example of how she could end up. She can't stand this cousin (the girl is rotten to the core, mean as a rabid dog and a thief besides) so that worked well for me.
As a sidebar, I held up her high-school-drop-out cousin with the four kids by two different men who has never been married as a horrible example of how she could end up. She can't stand this cousin (the girl is rotten to the core, mean as a rabid dog and a thief besides) so that worked well for me.
Hey, I have one of those too! Due to the difference in my dad's and his brother's ages, my cousin is much closer to my daughter's age than mine. (I am the oldest child of the oldest brother, and this cousin is the youngest child of the youngest brother.) My daughter used to admire her for being the cool older cousin, but now doesn't want to be anything like her. High school drop out, dating boys much older than she is (had a 19-year-old boyfriend at 12), threatened with juvie, lies all the time, and dresses like you just would not believe. This cousin is headed down the path you describe, unless she's gotten abortions by now, which wouldn't surprise me.
Hey, I have one of those too! Due to the difference in my dad's and his brother's ages, my cousin is much closer to my daughter's age than mine. (I am the oldest child of the oldest brother, and this cousin is the youngest child of the youngest brother.) My daughter used to admire her for being the cool older cousin, but now doesn't want to be anything like her. High school drop out, dating boys much older than she is (had a 19-year-old boyfriend at 12), threatened with juvie, lies all the time, and dresses like you just would not believe. This cousin is headed down the path you describe, unless she's gotten abortions by now, which wouldn't surprise me.
That's good that your daughter doesn't want to be like her! My daughter couldn't stand her cousin anyway, who is somewhat older because when my daughter was small, her cousin would do things like call her over to "look at something" and then slam her fingers in the door. Lovely to know this person is raising children of her own, isn't it?
Bought them for my son ,well, actually gave him a supply of mine' but also made him listen to a lecture on respecting females and one on how to use them.....
Some parents have stated that if their child is mature enough to have sex, then they are mature enough to get their own protection. I would just like to remind everyone that physical maturity happens a lot earlier than mental maturity these days.
It never hurts as the parent to offer help and advice when perceived as needed or when asked by your child.
If they are embarrassed to buy their own that speaks to their level of maturity with regard to sex....meaning that they probably shouldn't be participating at that time....
I don't have kids, but thinking back to when I was a teenager... my mother always openly talked about sex and protection and such to me from before I even thought of becoming active. When I did decide to "lose it" with my boyfriend at the time (who then later became and still is now my husband) she thanked me profusely for confiding in her, and made an appointment for me for the OB/GYN to go on the pill. No biggie. I was sixteen or so.
I would do the same she did for me if I ever have a child.
My senior year in high school, I ditched school with my boyfriend or best friend, who drove me to Planned Parenthood so I could get the birth control pill and a pelvic exam. (I didn't drive.) I would rather my daughter not do that. I don't want her to sneak around or cut class, and I certainly want her to be able to talk to me if she needs something. I read in another thread that 1 in 4 teens have some sort of STD. My daughter has been warned up one side and down the other about how bad some of them are. I bet most of them either don't know because they've never gotten a blood test, or they suspect something is wrong but are too afraid to talk to their parents.
I was a teacher's aid the period before lunch. She was a very understanding lady. Whenever I had a doctor's appointment, I'd tell her, and she'd let me leave. Seniors were allowed to go off campus for lunch, so I could go to my appointment and hurry back by the end of lunch. What my teacher did for me is something that many parents would freak out about, but I am very glad she did.
Ugh, the memories..... I have 3 boys (triplets). I had "the talk" oh, Nooo Pa'pa is gonna give us "the talk".....Well.....
The boys were 15, and we talked and they asked questions and then I basically said to them your education is the most important thing to me and their Mother, so do not be stupid and ruin your future. I was not buying protection for them, like other posters said, if your old enough to have sex, then your old enough to buy protection.
I am sure they laughed at me when I left the room, (remember, I am a boy too)
Thankfully, all my boys are college graduates...........cause I really did not give them a choice ***wink, wink***
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