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Yesterday morning, as I hopped out of the shower I smelled smoke. Ran downstairs (I had put on a show for her before stepping into the shower) and there she was in the middle of the living room with a lit fireplace match (the long kind of wooden matches) attempting to twirl it. There was a small stack of already burned matches on the coffee table.
I pretty much freaked out and so did she. I was so frightened by what could have happened that I was a bit hysterical and she seemed so frightened by my reaction that she sobbed pretty uncontrollably for a bit. After we both calmed down, I put two and two together.
So, we just got back from three weeks in Hawaii. While we were there, we saw fire twirlers nearly everyday on the beaches at night. My daughter was fascinated by them, and I didn't see the harm in letting her watch. Free entertainment and all that. She was actually very upset that he never picked her as the audience volunteer!
I'm a little perplexed as to what to do at this point - she just turned four. Obviously, some (alot!) of the blame is mine. I don't generally leave her unattended in the house, but my husband is still in Hawaii and I thought I could get a quick shower in. Our fireplace is gas - the matches were in a cabinet about five foot off the floor (she had to move a counter height stool from the kitchen to get to them). I didn't realize she even knew they were up there - I myself had totally forgotten about them.
I'm worried that she still doesn't get how dangerous fire can be and of course, she didn't understand why is isn't okay to play with fire when she watched people doing it everyday for weeks! Some of the fire twirlers we saw were kids (maybe 12 or so?)
My husband is still in Hawaii (working there for the summer) and we only flew home for a few days to take care of somethings - we fly back there next week and will be staying til mid August.
think the only thing you can do is explain to her in the simplest of terms matches/fire is for adults. does she understand about a hot stove? tell her the fire at the end of the matches is like a very hot stove. make sure you keep it all out of reach. I would bet too there is also a kid's book aimed for her age group about the dangers of fire. have fun in the islands!
A four year old pushed a counter height stool from the kitchen to the living room, climbed up, opened a cabinet, pulled out matches, climbed down, and started playing with them.
I would shower before she gets up or after she goes to bed.
Get rid of all the matches in your house. Impress upon her that fire is dangerous because everything around it can catch fire, and that's why fire twirlers do it on the beach. There's nothing nearby and they need to be near a huge ocean. Get creative and figure out a way to explain the difference.
Agree on removing the dangers - yes you had them "up" but somethings need to be either completely removed or better controlled (locked)
This is a teachable moment too. As Hopes said, the people playing with fire did it in a safe place - AND they were adults, AND they were highly trained professionals (okay maybe they were simply trained, but to her you need to impress the point that we can't do dangerous things without training.) It's an opportunity to talk about other dangers, in the context of safety - the reason you're concerned is that your house is safe - she is safe, and you need to help her stay safe (as opposed to piling on a list of what's dangerous around her so she feels endangered and afriad. If you explain WHY you were so scared(freaked) it will help her see that dnagers are real - if they scare mom they must be - and thus it will be pretty obvious why not doing dangerous things is important.
Definitely keep the matches out of her reach (locked cupboard or something like that) and talk to her about the dangers. There's probably some fire safety cartoon or something you can find that might help her understand.
A friend's grandson got hold of matches when he was 5 years old, after his (other) grandma had taught him how to light a fire - he lit a fire while she was napping! Luckily his older brother knew what to do (his school had been visited by a fireman to give a demonstration) so he put the fire out with a blanket and woke grandma up. Kids that age should definitely not have access to matches, even out of reach if they can climb up to get them.
You can't remove matches from your house, that would be asinine. You need to teach her that fire is dangerous, and that things like matches are for responsible use by adults only, not a plaything for children.
To do this, you need to keep matches in your house and show her how they are used responsibly, like lighting your stove or fireplace.
Keep them under lock and key if necessary, but removing them entirely like they don't exist doesn't teach your child a thing.
I agree, no reason to remove a useful tool for adults.
OP, when my kids were little the fire dept used to put on an open house during fire prevention week every Oct. My kids loved it, they got to sit in the trucks, ring the bell, etc. But, there was a lot of interaction with the firemen too, focused on fire safety. You might want to call the non-emergency number in your town to see if they offer something similar.
You can't remove matches from your house, that would be asinine. You need to teach her that fire is dangerous, and that things like matches are for responsible use by adults only, not a plaything for children.
To do this, you need to keep matches in your house and show her how they are used responsibly, like lighting your stove or fireplace.
Keep them under lock and key if necessary, but removing them entirely like they don't exist doesn't teach your child a thing.
yes you can.
better to have a matchless home than a burnt home.
I would really have a stern talking with her and make sure this never ever happens again, and that she " gets the message" and if not, she will get the beating of a life time.
fire, sorry, no joke.
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