Neighbor kid using my son's ipad to look at naked pics (teenagers, weigh)
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The OP asked what to do in the future, not for a critique of her parenting up to this point. The problem here is the 9 year old, and maybe his parents, not the OP.
The OP is also very quick to get her knickers in a twist and from her comments has a full vocabulary.
Neither one makes her look very good. She only wants to hear what she wants to hear.
Not sure who you're directing your comments at, but IMO it would be better to have a face to face with the parents, not send a text to someone who lives 500 ft from you.
All she got back was "I'm sorry", no concern as to why a 9yr old was looking at porn. When you talk to someone in person(and in this case due to proximity it is very easy) you get to see their facial expressions and tone of voice. That would have been very helpful in determining what kind of people you're dealing with, and whether these are people you want any contact with.
Something is definitely up with that 9yr old, and if the parents or parent(no mention of any interaction with the mother) don't get that the 9yr old isn't welcome or he keeps showing up, than you know what the younger brother doesn't need to come over either.
Her son is 5, they just moved there(it's not like they have been around each other since they were 6 months old), find a more suitable family for play dates.
This is a situation that could have very dire consequences on many levels. This 9yr old could be getting abused at home, and in turn could become an abuser.
As another poster pointed out, the OP could have gotten in legal trouble as the 9yr old was accessing porn in her home on a device she owned. So you see you're wrong there, because this very quickly could have become her problem if the parents turned around and screamed bloody murder, or called the police and said "my son was over at the new neighbor's house and was looking at porn". Now she has a big problem.
But let's just tell people what they want to hear, not do any critical thinking, right?????
The OP is also very quick to get her knickers in a twist and from her comments has a full vocabulary.
Neither one makes her look very good. She only wants to hear what she wants to hear.
Not sure who you're directing your comments at, but IMO it would be better to have a face to face with the parents, not send a text to someone who lives 500 ft from you.
All she got back was "I'm sorry", no concern as to why a 9yr old was looking at porn. When you talk to someone in person(and in this case due to proximity it is very easy) you get to see their facial expressions and tone of voice. That would have been very helpful in determining what kind of people you're dealing with, and whether these are people you want any contact with.
Something is definitely up with that 9yr old, and if the parents or parent(no mention of any interaction with the mother) don't get that the 9yr old isn't welcome or he keeps showing up, than you know what the younger brother doesn't need to come over either.
Her son is 5, they just moved there(it's not like they have been around each other since they were 6 months old), find a more suitable family for play dates.
This is a situation that could have very dire consequences on many levels. This 9yr old could be getting abused at home, and in turn could become an abuser.
As another poster pointed out, the OP could have gotten in legal trouble as the 9yr old was accessing porn in her home on a device she owned. So you see you're wrong there, because this very quickly could have become her problem if the parents turned around and screamed bloody murder, or called the police and said "my son was over at the new neighbor's house and was looking at porn". Now she has a big problem.
But let's just tell people what they want to hear, not do any critical thinking, right?????
right She/he already said that parental controls have been put in place now. I'm "wrong" because I suggested we concentrate on what the OP could do going forward instead of what's already done? This issue is multifaceted. To call me "wrong" is pretty simplistic don't you think?
Probably not worded as well as I could. I didn't mean the ipad so much as full Internet access. I would imagine that any child, no judgement on this child, that had an ipad with full Internet access would sneak it into bed at night for example. Natural curiosity and the sometimes brutal Internet will merge and show things kids shouldn't see. You can see any deviated sex act you can imagine, some you can't even imagine. You can buy any drug you want. You can learn to cheat, steal and lie. Whereas on a tablet designed for a kid, those things aren't available, was my point.
right She/he already said that parental controls have been put in place now. I'm "wrong" because I suggested we concentrate on what the OP could do going forward instead of what's already done? This issue is multifaceted. To call me "wrong" is pretty simplistic don't you think?
LOL...you say the issue is multifaceted and than you contradict that term.
I was merely pointing out what another poster already mentioned, and was smart to bring up.
You're the one who is making it simplistic, the OP could still have an issue depending on how this turns out, that a 9yr old child had access to porn in her home(BTW it is woman if you bothered to read the thread), so that is HER PROBLEM.
Instead of being so concerned about being right or wrong, don't say something is multifaceted and be so quick to dismiss some valid points.
Once you invite a minor child into your home, it becomes your problem when an issue occurs.
Again, the OP should be very thankful these parent/parents didn't bring the police into it.
And of course without knowing, but suspecting the OP was let off the hook because this 9yr old is doing the same thing at home, or and hopefully not, there is abuse going on in the home.
This could have had law enforcement involved.
The boy was awfully quick to find porn, but regardless it was in the OP's home and her Internet.
Doing some critical thinking and looking at it from all the consequences involved, isn't being simplistic.
To be flippant and say "well it's not her problem" is being simplistic.
LOL...you say the issue is multifaceted and than you contradict that term.
I was merely pointing out what another poster already mentioned, and was smart to bring up.
You're the one who is making it simplistic, the OP could still have an issue depending on how this turns out, that a 9yr old child had access to porn in her home(BTW it is woman if you bothered to read the thread), so that is HER PROBLEM.
Instead of being so concerned about being right or wrong, don't say something is multifaceted and be so quick to dismiss some valid points.
Once you invite a minor child into your home, it becomes your problem when an issue occurs.
Again, the OP should be very thankful these parent/parents didn't bring the police into it.
And of course without knowing, but suspecting the OP was let off the hook because this 9yr old is doing the same thing at home, or and hopefully not, there is abuse going on in the home.
This could have had law enforcement involved.
The boy was awfully quick to find porn, but regardless it was in the OP's home and her Internet.
Doing some critical thinking and looking at it from all the consequences involved, isn't being simplistic.
To be flippant and say "well it's not her problem" is being simplistic.
I'm not sure why you feel the need to pick this fight with me. I'm not the only one who said this. Some posters have basically placed all the blame on the op. That's kind of a "blame the victim" mentality, and it doesn't sit well with me.
The ipad is not the problem. The internet is not the problem. The 9 year old is the problem. Could the OP have done more to protect her family? Sure. Is the OP completely to blame? No, but some have suggested that.
The OP mentioned way back on the first page, that parental controls have been implemented, so that will no longer be a problem in the future. All I'm saying is it is a waste of time to chastise him/her for this, when he realized the mistake and already fixed it.
LOL...you say the issue is multifaceted and than you contradict that term.
I was merely pointing out what another poster already mentioned, and was smart to bring up.
You're the one who is making it simplistic, the OP could still have an issue depending on how this turns out, that a 9yr old child had access to porn in her home(BTW it is woman if you bothered to read the thread), so that is HER PROBLEM.
Instead of being so concerned about being right or wrong, don't say something is multifaceted and be so quick to dismiss some valid points.
Once you invite a minor child into your home, it becomes your problem when an issue occurs.
Again, the OP should be very thankful these parent/parents didn't bring the police into it.
And of course without knowing, but suspecting the OP was let off the hook because this 9yr old is doing the same thing at home, or and hopefully not, there is abuse going on in the home.
This could have had law enforcement involved.
The boy was awfully quick to find porn, but regardless it was in the OP's home and her Internet.
Doing some critical thinking and looking at it from all the consequences involved, isn't being simplistic.
To be flippant and say "well it's not her problem" is being simplistic.
Those are some good points. This situation could have turned very bad, very quickly. The parents of the 9 year old, or the other parents, could have blamed the OP. Thankfully, they did not do that. But, it is a good learning point for all parents to make sure that they have parental controls set on their devices even if a very young child is the primary user.
I remember a situation at my school where a teacher referred a family to CPS due to suspected child abuse. The parent immediately jumped on the offense and reported the classroom teacher to the police for abusing the child at school, started calling parents of the child's classmates, called the PTA President, called the school superintendent and principal, and others claiming that Miss Jones had abused her child. The first parent even called the TV stations and the newspaper, as they contacted the school asking about the allegations.
Wow, what a nightmare! To deflect "suspicion" from her and her family the parent blamed someone else. Thankfully, CPS had received other complaints/referrals of possible abuse from others regarding this family and the police & school officials believed the teacher & other staff that nothing happened in the classroom. But, it could have completely ruined the teacher's reputation, caused her to lose her job & livelihood and even landed her in jail.
When I hear about situations like the OP reported I often think about what could happen.
Again, thankfully it appears to have "blown over" without additional problems. And, it is a good learning point for all parents to make sure that they have parental controls set on their devices even if a very young child is the primary user.
We just moved to the neighborhood and my son, 5, became fast friends with brothers, 4 & 9, who live behind us. I could tell something was off with the 9 year old. He's very rough. He's made my son cry numerous times, and even gave his brother a bloody nose and has a bad temper. They spend a lot of time here. One day we had two families over for a cookout. There were 7 kids ages 5-10, and then here comes the two brothers. We let them stay. After dinner the oldest girl comes down with my son's ipad and says the 9 yr old googled naked women pics and showed all the kids and we found out later, asked the two 5 yr old girls to kiss him while showing them the pics. I confirmed it by looking at the computer history then told him he had to leave. As he was leaving he yells at me, at which point in time I want to do something I'd go to jail for. I texted his dad. I got a I'm sorry this happened, I told him it's inappropriate and grounded him from his computer. My son missed the 4 yr old so I asked for just him to come over. Sure enough the next thing I know the 9 yr old is ringing the doorbell. He proceeds to tell me he didn't do it, blah blah. We say you're not being honest and you are no longer welcome here. I text the dad to ask if we can get together and talk about the situation and all I get is ok sounds good and no follow-up. Now when my son and the 4 yr old are playing, he stands right at our property line and acts out to get attention. I've tried talking to my 5 yr old, he just turned 5, but he doesn't get it. We've set all the parental controls up now on the computers, but I just don't want this kid at my house. How do I handle this situation? I really want my son to still be able to be friends with the younger brother.
Well that's not really going to work is it? Find your 5 year old some other friends and forget about this mess.
Yeah, if not an Ipad, then a portable DVD player with Dora, Barney, whatever. If not that, there was traditional TV. TV and videos isn't as wholesome of an activity, but many parents do use it to get their kids to "magically" shut up and leave them alone so they can rest and regain some sanity.
We just moved to the neighborhood and my son, 5, became fast friends with brothers, 4 & 9, who live behind us. I could tell something was off with the 9 year old. He's very rough. He's made my son cry numerous times, and even gave his brother a bloody nose and has a bad temper. They spend a lot of time here. One day we had two families over for a cookout. There were 7 kids ages 5-10, and then here comes the two brothers. We let them stay. After dinner the oldest girl comes down with my son's ipad and says the 9 yr old googled naked women pics and showed all the kids and we found out later, asked the two 5 yr old girls to kiss him while showing them the pics.
The kissing them while looking @ the pics isnt good at all (Not just curious looking) and might lead to other things..... I AM SO SORRY YOU ARE GOING THRU THIS!!!
I think your doing the right thing.... There is a difference in casual looking and kissing someone while looking..... Its sad how young they are today getitng into this stuff...... WHY CANT THEY BE KIDS?? (Associating a kiss with that stuff might be bad) Sounds like the 9yo is very hard to get along with!
Probably not worded as well as I could. I didn't mean the ipad so much as full Internet access. I would imagine that any child, no judgement on this child, that had an ipad with full Internet access would sneak it into bed at night for example. Natural curiosity and the sometimes brutal Internet will merge and show things kids shouldn't see. You can see any deviated sex act you can imagine, some you can't even imagine. You can buy any drug you want. You can learn to cheat, steal and lie. Whereas on a tablet designed for a kid, those things aren't available, was my point.
Yeah, listen I get what you're saying. But in my experience, that's not what actually happens. Not at that age.
They just don't have that stuff on their radar and don't care enough to try and find it. I will say that if you share an ipad with a kid don't go browsing that stuff. Otherwise, it's kinda not that easy to just stumble on it.
Not saying it never happens. But I think kids around 3-7 are not super at risk. They go straight for their Disney or counting apps or Plants Vs Zombies and that's it. Porn, not so much.
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She/he already said that parental controls have been put in place now. I'm "wrong" because I suggested we concentrate on what the OP could do going forward instead of what's already done? This issue is multifaceted. To call me "wrong" is pretty simplistic don't you think?
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