What goes through a woman's mind when they wrongfully use child support? (legal, teaching)
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Census figures show only 57 percent of moms are required to pay child support -- 385,000 women out of a total of 674,000 -- give up some or all of the money they owe. That leaves some 289,000 "deadbeat" mothers out there, a fact that has barely been reported in the media.
That compares with 68 percent of dads who pay up, according to the figures.
So is the issue deadbeat parents and supporting our children or deadbeats dads or males?
Money being used on a drug, alcohol, cigarette, gambling habit, etc, buying nonessential luxury items, etc etc
Nonessential luxury items? Like what? A new breadspread? Carpet for the kids room? Those $$$$$$$$$$ tennis shoes they all have?
$5000 for braces?
If she's using all or most of it to support a drug habit - then Dad should haul her back to court and seek custody ASAP.
Quote:
Originally Posted by parentologist
If you add up the cost of housing, utilities, daycare, food, etc, there is no way that child support is covering ALL of what the kids need just to survive. So what makes you think that if a woman spends a penny on herself, that she's spending the child support on herself?
^^^^^^^^^^^ This. Goodness.
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Originally Posted by hawaiian by heart
Well its obvious your the primary custody parent right? And when 85% of custody of children goes to mom then my statement becomes more clearer.
Typical. Of course it's somehow my fault because I'm female. Circumstances mean nothing.
I'm surprised at you, HBH, you generally don't post stuff like this. I'm going to guess this topic hits pretty close to home for you. Well, it does for me too. Try to keep that in mind when you are going to jump on someone you don't know just because she's a woman.
This has nothing to do with you being a woman, it has to do with your attitude of being a woman. Big difference.
Just put aside all bias and anger etc. And look at the issue logically. Are we honestly going to say that out of all the custody cases, 85% of them went to woman because men were not fit to be custodial parents? Or were not good enough compaired to moms? And honestly if it was reversed, do you believe we would be sitting here talking reasonable about it?
Money being used on a drug, alcohol, cigarette, gambling habit, etc, buying nonessential luxury items, etc etc
So, you're asking why addicts neglect their children? Because they're addicts. A man in that situation needs to sue for full custody.
Otherwise it's hard to "misuse" child support. I don't know any divorced moms who are buying luxury goods on child support. My own salary covers my expenses, and then I pay for about 70% of the child-related expenses, and child support from him covers about 30% of that. He pays more than the required amount and it still covers only 30% of costs, and that's in a state with much higher than average child support.
Of course I send him reports on child care and other costs, such as sports, uniforms, music lessons, clothing purchases, as well as information about their health, and school test scores so he can see that the money is all very well spent. We also split the tax deduction and child-care deductions on taxes. That's between us.
If that isn't the arrangement you have with your ex, perhaps you can work it out with her. I don't think asking for information about child-related costs and splitting deductions according to contributions should be that hard.
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or when they divorce and take half of a man's earnings?
Don't marry a deadbeat. Problem solved. I paid in my divorce because I made more and he'd already spent my savings. Whoever has more loses most in a divorce. End of story.
Just put aside all bias and anger etc. And look at the issue logically. Are we honestly going to say that out of all the custody cases, 85% of them went to woman because men were not fit to be custodial parents? Or were not good enough compaired to moms? And honestly if it was reversed, do you believe we would be sitting here talking reasonable about it?
That's not the only reason a mother would be awarded custody. You are apparently disregarding all the cases where the fathers did not want custody. If you think they all do, I invite you over to the "Father's rights" thread, where it's obvious many of them assuredly do not. Also, primary custody most logically goes to the primary caregiver, who is usually the mother.
I read something a while back that said fathers do not usually pursue full custody. Sometimes they want to but don't, and sometimes they simply don't want to. But when they DO pursue custody, they get it a much higher percentage of the time. That 85% includes dads who just walk away, which happens more often than in the reverse.
So ... logic.
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