What goes through a woman's mind when they wrongfully use child support? (divorced, average)
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Gravy train, whatever. You want to tell me $75 every two weeks which, btw, I am NOT receiving, is a gravy train?
I slept in the living room so my girls could have their own bedrooms when they were teens. I worked three jobs while I was going to college so I could pay the bills and provide them a relatively decent lifestyle, and we went without a lot. And my situation is typical. I don't know one single mom that is getting a huge amount of child support, much less living off of it.
You say the men just don't have the money? Well, neither do the women. If the marriage was intact 100% of each partners income would go to supporting the family and the household, not 30%. Instead, dad decides he doesn't want to be a grownup anymore and then mom is supposed to take care of the family with him fighting her the whole way.
Well maybe if you weren't so concerned with winning, power and control and worked to be more equal then maybe you wouldn't have all the responsiblities.
Uhmm far more males pay childsupport period. We have a government agancy who has made its survival on the backs of males. No offense but in this system only 15 percent were women, which is about right for the national average of you ladies winning custody. Out of that 15%, how many ladies don't pay support or are behind? You will find the compliance of paying to be in the favor of fathers percentage wise and there are higher stats on women being deadbeats in paying support. Just wantted to clear the air.
Useless information without reputable links.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiian by heart
Census figures show only 57 percent of moms are required to pay child support -- 385,000 women out of a total of 674,000 -- give up some or all of the money they owe. That leaves some 289,000 "deadbeat" mothers out there, a fact that has barely been reported in the media.
That compares with 68 percent of dads who pay up, according to the figures.
So is the issue deadbeat parents and supporting our children or deadbeats dads or males?
Again need links. You do realize your posts reflect more on the real issue, pay disparity, than anything else.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DipDog3
If you don't want to pay child support, don't have any kids.
There is nothing else to say. This thread can be closed.
Heres an example of excess that is lifestyle choice. Childcare expenses is often the biggest expensive for young children. But why would you pay a complete stranger to watch your child but limited the other parent to a weekend visit? Then make that parent help you pay for the child care? Wouldnt it make since to have dad watch jr and bond if you both have different schedules? This is just one example.
The child care is before and after school child care. School is from 9am-3pm. That's not even an 8-hour work day. Where is our child supposed to go? Neither my daughter's father nor I can watch her before or after school because we have to work--we both work regular business hours. Is he supposed to quit his job to take care of her? Am I? We both need our jobs to support and raise her as well as pay our own bills, mortgages, etc. Most people work regular business hours (and that's when daycares/after school programs are open).
What about parents who have a pre-school aged kid(s)? What are they supposed to do? Take Jr. to work with them... because with divorced parents, BOTH have to work. Unless one doesn't work and collects spousal support. You don't have the luxury of one parent staying home and watching the kids. And that means paying for child care in a lot of cases.
By the way, we have joint custody... 50/50. By his choice, he doesn't take our child during all his parenting time--but it's just that HIS choice. I don't regulate or deny him anything. He has a type of lifestyle he likes to lead and having a small child with him kind of puts a damper on that. Don't get me wrong, he loves her and does spend quality time with her. But again, his not being with her as much as he can is his choice. And we do swap off at times, when we can. He's called me days he has to work late and is supposed to have our child, asking me to watch her (and I do). And vice versa. But most of the time, it's regular business hours working and, like I said, we both work.
Trust me, I've love to cut that child care expense if I could. Like I said, I pay for it all and he reimburses me for half through child support. No child care saves me (and him) a lot of money and I would be all for that (if it could be done). But short of me moving back home (hundreds of miles away from him... where he would rarely see her) and getting grandma to take care of her, it's just not going to happen until she reaches an age where she can take care of herself before and after school.
Last edited by jillabean; 07-08-2014 at 01:35 PM..
Well maybe if you weren't so concerned with winning, power and control and worked to be more equal then maybe you wouldn't have all the responsiblities.
And HOW exactly does my example show I am concerned with winning, power, and control?
No i wasn't bringing it up to focus on your lifestyle or parenting etc. It was a general statement. I know your a good parent jillabean. You still have to let me know how your trip to the Big Island was ok.
I was suggesting in my example if both parents had different work schedules. If they don't then its obvious that you cant have dad watch jr etc.
Also the point being if a stranger is spending more time with the children then the parents then the system is broken.
or when they divorce and take half of a man's earnings? (Now, when it comes to taking half a man's earnings, I don't mind it if she helped built the money. But there are instances where divorce settlements are egregious).
Anyway, do they discuss this with their friends or do they decide this on their own? Do they have plans to do these things the first moment they meet a guy?
I will never understand it myself. Any woman who leaves on her own accord should be fully prepared to take care of herself.
or when they divorce and take half of a man's earnings? (Now, when it comes to taking half a man's earnings, I don't mind it if she helped built the money. But there are instances where divorce settlements are egregious).
Anyway, do they discuss this with their friends or do they decide this on their own? Do they have plans to do these things the first moment they meet a guy?
Two vastly different situations.
The first, is a someone taking money that is to go towards supporting the child and using it for something unrelated to their support. That is wrong on every level, and is not remotely a matter of opinion.
The second, is completely subjective. Marriage, is fundamentally a partnership, emotionally, financially, etc and determining how much each person brought to the partnership is nearly impossible. Suppose the wife of X years by being the SAHM, raising the kids, providing an opportunity for him to network, work long hours, etc. now ends up being divorced, now claiming he "earned" their family income, is fundamentally not fair. He wouldn't have been able to "earn" that income if he couldn't count on his "partner" to do the rest.
So no, pretending that the two are similar is not remotely true.
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