17 month old not talking (method, boys, appropriate, daughter)
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First of all, some babies work on physical skills first, then move on to verbal skills.
For example, a baby who is crawling at 5 months old, will most likely start talking when s/he is older. A baby who starts talking early (a year old or younger) will most likely start walking at a later age than other kids.
I didn't walk until I was 15 months old but was an early talker.
My daughter was rolling over and sitting up on her own before other babies. She didn't really start talking until she was 21 months old. Before 21 months, she said only a few words. Yet, we used to notice that when we talked, she would be intently listening. A few times, I asked her "Can you talk?" Her response'---"Nah!" and she would turn away. Yet she was absorbing so much. One night, when she was 16 months old, she woke up in the middle of the night calling "Dada". We went to see her and everything we said to her made her laugh. I said to my husband, "She's punchy". After she heard that, she made a fist and punched her forehead! We have no idea where she learned that word, let alone knew one of its meanings!
When she did decide to talk, it was like the floodgates opened!
So...each baby is different. I was once told that if they aren't talking by age 2, then get them evaluated.
Most public school districts have early diagnostic and intervention services for both the OP's situation and the 4 year old. However, an anonymous referral for the 4 year old is not going to result in anything. School districts are not going to offer evaluations based on an anonymous referral. The parents need to request the evaluation.
Both the OP and the other person should contact their school district and ask for the early childhood education program phone number. Screenings are usually done by regular ed early childhood programs first, and then a referral is made to the early childhood special ed program. Often they are in the same building. However, with school being close to done for spring, YMMV. The good thing is that many early childhood programs run through the summer.
I would be especially concerned about the 4 year old; the 18 month old-not so much. However, the 18 month old could benefit from speech services just to catch up after the surgery.
Although, it rarely happens (anonymous referrals such as from a relative or neighbor) I have worked in several school districts where the school psychologist or Child Find then contacted the parents and asked the parents if they had concerns about the child's development or language. In the cases that I am familiar with the parents then voluntarily requested an evaluation for their child. Most of the time the parents had absolutely no idea that they could receive free (special education & therapy) services though school for a child under kindergarten age.
One of my friends teaches in a different district. She says that they handle anonymous referrals the same way & when the concerns seemed pretty severe and the parents seemed pretty unconcerned the referral was given to Children's Protective Service as a possible neglect situation. Again, this was quite rare but getting a call from CPS can be extremely motivating for some parents.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ipaper
Well, my grandson is 4 already and not talking and I worry about him all the time. But his parents don't show any sort of urgency in the matter and I'm tired of arguingwith my son about it. I was on them about this every since he was almost 2 years old and my personal view is that they are much to blame. He is a smart kid but mostly speak gibberish but I have picked up on just a few things like bye bye, daddy, and I have notice him repeating things from watching cartoon. When you try to work with to get him to say things, he wants no part of it and just run away. His parents just never took the time to really try to teach him when he was 2 but the get an attitude when I question them about him. I just feel so bad for him.
When a four year old only says a few words and the rest is "gibberish" and the parents don't care, IMHO someone needs to do something.
If the Grandmother of the four year old truly can't get her son to understand that there could be a problem that could be her only possible route to help her grandchild. Some children never visit a pediatrician or have contact with a day care teacher or someone else who would notice a delay.
Last edited by germaine2626; 05-25-2014 at 07:57 PM..
One other thing that needs to be remembered..... If a child has siblings that are very close in age, there is a very real chance that they have developed their own private language.
My two oldest were like that. most of the time it was a real problem to understand them. Fortunately, the third child was also close in age and could understand them
If you want to feel stupid, think about having to ask the baby of the family to tell you what his older brother is saying.
I forget about it some times because he just acts like a normal kid, which makes me not think about it until he tries to stick his tongue out.
I pointed it out to the pediatrician when he was six months old, and she referred me to an oral surgeon. He said if it's not impeding his ability to eat then he would not do anything yet, however he wanted to see how he was doing at a year old. We saw him in January and he said he would do the surgery, but only if we wanted to. It was no pressing matter and our son would live life normally. My husband was tongue tied until he was 18, and spoke normally so he didn't think it would be anything, but now that our son is almost a year and a half old he thinks getting the surgery wouldn't be a bad idea.
CraigCreek, I'll start acting out conversations with his stuffed animals. I just did that, and he just smiled the whole time, then commandeered the stuffed Kangaroo, ran around hugging him going "Aww!" I guess that's a step in the right direction? Also, I do ask him "What is that?" with things, and he'll just answer with "Gah", should I just stay vigilant in not answering for him? Should I not give up in asking him? I mean, he's not dumb, I assume he knows what I'm asking for him to do. As someone said earlier, he could be assuming this is something adults do, not kids.
Nana, my son knows many hand movements in place of words. He'll bring his hands and shoulders up when meaning "All done" and "No more." He shakes his head when he means no, waves for "Bye-bye". It's weird, he has his own language. I've tried not giving him what he wants, telling him "If you want this, say 'please.'" but it only turns him into a crying puddle on the ground.
It sounds as if you've got a bright little guy who is increasingly frustrated by his inability to speak. Making up his own sign language shows a lot of initiative and creativity on his part, but asking him to sat "please" when he appears to be physically unable to do before receiving something he wants, is unnecessarily frustrating and pointless.
When he responds, "Gah" when you ask him "What is that?", could he be trying to say "That"? Have you tried saying "That's a dog - can you say dog?" I think as long as he tries to say something when you ask him "What" questions, it's fine to confirm his effort but to model the correctly pronounced name. "Dog - that's a
dog" ("Dog" is probably difficult for him to pronounce without free tongue movement, btw).
Does he try to say words which don't require a lot of tongue movement? "Mama", "bye-bye", "baby", and "papa" come to mind. A speech therapist can be a great help in this regard, and will know far better than I just what words can be easily pronounced. My guess is that they are the words a baby typically learns to say first - including the examples above.
I'm glad he enjoyed the make-believe with his toy kangaroo. Keep it up (although "kangaroo" isn't an especially easy word to pronounce! :-)). Maybe Kangaroo could go with him to the hospital for the procedure he needs, which I hope he'll receive asap.
Once he has fully recovered from the surgery, I expect he'll make rapid headway, especially if he also receives speech therapy for a while. A speech therapist will have additional suggestions about how to foster speech and to help him speak more, and more clearly.
Last edited by CraigCreek; 05-25-2014 at 11:18 PM..
...I am amazed that his pediatrician or the oral surgeon did not request a speech evaluation.
Those were my thoughts exactly.
Our son recently turned two and wasn't talking much, similar to your son. This got us worried especially because our daughter started talking much sooner (though we were told that boys are generally slower when it comes to speech).
Although the pediatrician didn't think it was something we needed to be concerned about, she recommended an evaluation. When we had that done, both the specialists were convinced that his vocabulary and speech was going to be explosive. Sure enough, three months later, he's starting to talk up a storm.
To help with this, we've:
- Started to encourage him to say what he wants instead of just pointing. I think someone else mentioned this. We were essentially enabling his ability to get what he wants without him ever needing to speak;
- Started to do away with baby talk. Someone else also mentioned this; and
- Realized that he was also relying on just "going with the flow" with what his big sister was always doing and wanting.
I can't comment on his physical condition, but I hope he turns out okay. I'd love to hear his progress going forward.
According to these articles, tongue-tie does not prevent kids from learning how to talk, but MAY (take note of the conditional) cause some speech impediments. Treatment is controversial; not all practitioners recommend surgery, which is after all, a major undertaking. There is no such thing as "minor surgery". For a condition present in ~ 10% of kids, we don't see a lot of frenulectomies where I work. Each one has to be evaluated individually.
If he is already 4 years old he will be old enough to start 4-K in the fall. Basically 100% of his classmates will be speaking in full, long sentences. Due to his speech delays he will probably will quickly be referred for a speech evaluation (BTW , depending on the state the school will have 60 to 90 days before they need to hold an IEP meeting after the official referral is signed by the parents.)
If he will not be starting school in the fall because his school district does not have 4 year old kindergarten or his parents are not sending him to school or if you don't think that you can wait that long I do have a possible suggestion for you. I normally do not recommend that a grandparent or friend or neighbor do this, however, in this case it may be warranted.
You can call the local school district and ask to speak to the school psychologist or Director of Special Education and make an anonymous referral for your grandchild. Just say that you know a child that you strongly feel may need speech therapy and the parents have ignored it. Give them the child's name, age and parents name and address and most schools will contact the parents to set up an evaluation. Of course, because it is anonymous you will not know what happens or if they actually contact the parents but it is at least doing something.
I should point out that a very few children, who are normal, do not speak until they are 4 but that is quite unusual. It may be because everyone caters to the child so he does not need to talk to get his needs met, or the child is extremely, extremely shy, or the child is never spoken to (perhaps has parents who are mute or extremely quiet themselves or just don't feel that they need to talk to a child) or the child tends to watch & listen more than participate, or the child has a hearing loss or other reasons.
Good luck to you, Grandma.
Here is a list of typical language skills for a four year old.
can count to 10 or more
can name at least four colors
has a vocabulary of more than 1,000 words
puts together sentences of four or five words
asks the most questions of any age
Yes they used to cater to his every need and I recognized what it was doing from early on. I always mention to my son how he was not teaching him anything by just giving him things without any dialogue. My grandson would point at what he wants or stand by the refrigerator and his dad just go give him things to get him out of his hair. I have had many arguments with my son about this but to no avail. He does have an older sister at home but I cant say what is going on there. My son is not married to his mother and she have a daughter from a previous relationship. My heart really breaks for my grandson because I know its not his fault. my oldest son who is 26 is probably the last person on this earth who should have a child or anything to do with one. He got frustrated with my grandson and started yelling at him talk talk talk and they kid was just screaming and crying. I walked in the kitchen and asked what in the world is going on here. My son said he wants something to drink and I'm not giving it to him until he say what he wants. I made my son leave the kitchen so I could calm the child down then started to talk with him as I gave him some water.
Yes they used to cater to his every need and I recognized what it was doing from early on. I always mention to my son how he was not teaching him anything by just giving him things without any dialogue. My grandson would point at what he wants or stand by the refrigerator and his dad just go give him things to get him out of his hair. I have had many arguments with my son about this but to no avail. He does have an older sister at home but I cant say what is going on there. My son is not married to his mother and she have a daughter from a previous relationship. My heart really breaks for my grandson because I know its not his fault. my oldest son who is 26 is probably the last person on this earth who should have a child or anything to do with one. He got frustrated with my grandson and started yelling at him talk talk talk and they kid was just screaming and crying. I walked in the kitchen and asked what in the world is going on here. My son said he wants something to drink and I'm not giving it to him until he say what he wants. I made my son leave the kitchen so I could calm the child down then started to talk with him as I gave him some water.
Was his ears ever checked? Fluid in the ear can cause an underwater sound to the child.Many children get tubes in the ear for proper drainage.
Wow, that is alarming. I have a 4 yo with autism and severe speech delay, and he can speak more than that. I do know though, feeling critized, it can be hard to discuss the issue with grandparents. I am wondering if it is worth reaching out to the child's doctor directly to address the concern.
My son attends half day preschool 5x a week with therapy 3x a week and it is making a huge difference.
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Also, I do ask him "What is that?" with things, and he'll just answer with "Gah", should I just stay vigilant in not answering for him? Should I not give up in asking him? I mean, he's not dumb, I assume he knows what I'm asking for him to do. As someone said earlier, he could be assuming this is something adults do, not kids.
