17 month old not talking (toddler, parents, smart, son)
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Well, my grandson is 4 already and not talking and I worry about him all the time. But his parents don't show any sort of urgency in the matter and I'm tired of arguing with my son about it. I was on them about this every since he was almost 2 years old and my personal view is that they are much to blame. He is a smart kid but mostly speak gibberish but I have picked up on just a few things like bye bye, daddy, and I have notice him repeating things from watching cartoon. When you try to work with to get him to say things, he wants no part of it and just run away. His parents just never took the time to really try to teach him when he was 2 but the get an attitude when I question them about him. I just feel so bad for him.
Original poster: It sounds as if your son's receptive speech and hearing are fine, since he's responding appropriately to your talking to him and to picture books. He doesn't sound autistic at all to me (having worked with kids of all descriptions for over 25 years...).
It also sounds like you're asking him lots of "where" questions, to which he is pointing in response. So - try a few "what" questions instead: "What's that?? Right, that's the kitty-cat! What does the kitty-cat say? Meow!" and so on. "Who" questions are also good for eliciting responses - but start out with "what".
Also, try Mother Goose rhymes; tried and true. Match up the rhyme with the activity: "This Little Piggy" when he's in the tub, as you wash his feet, or when he's getting his shoes and socks on, etc. When he's familiar with the rhymes, recite or read or sing them to him (lots of good MG books out there), but stop expectantly at the very last word and let him fill in the blank. Or when his speech picks up a bit, try changing things to make them sillier: "Mary had a little lamb, its fleece was black as coal" and so on, so he can "correct" you. Make sure he has access to traditional children's songs - sing them to him, musical ability isn't required. Recordings (in whatever format that everyone can hear) are also good at this age. Look for songs with participatory actions: "The Eensy-Weensy Spider" (or "Itsy-Bitsy Spider", in some places) and so on. Finger-plays are also good and help with fine muscle development as well as speech.
Act out little scenarios with his stuffed toys - encourage him to do the same, and engage him in commentary: "Oh, look, Doggy is going for a ride on the truck! Where is Doggy going? Is he going to the park?" (or grocery store, Sunday School, visiting Grandma, whatever outside activities are familiar). Have his stuffed toys "talk" to each other. Model a conversation between toys for him, then let him talk for Kitty-Cat while you talk for Teddy Bear. Have a tea-party or picnic for him and the stuffed toys, with make-believe food that you discuss. Puppets and dolls can be used similarly. This helps both language and imagination - and eventually, narrative ability.
Almost all public libraries have toddler-geared story times for little ones and a familiar adult - parent, grandparent, nanny, baby-sitter, etc. These include very short stories, rhymes, participatory activities, simple games, songs, etc. and usually last no more than twenty minutes. This would get him to associate with other little folks, while you'd be with other parents who remain present during the program. You'd also have access to the storyteller, usually the librarian, who is very knowledgeable about materials for children this age and can recommend specific titles you can borrow for him, both books and other materials.
Good luck with your little guy - I think he's going to be talking up a storm soon, but if you try these suggestions, I expect it will speed things up nicely (and will be fun for everyone along the way).
Last edited by CraigCreek; 05-25-2014 at 02:42 PM..
Well, my grandson is 4 already and not talking and I worry about him all the time. But his parents don't show any sort of urgency in the matter and I'm tired of arguing with my son about it. I was on them about this every since he was almost 2 years old and my personal view is that they are much to blame. He is a smart kid but mostly speak gibberish but I have picked up on just a few things like bye bye, daddy, and I have notice him repeating things from watching cartoon. When you try to work with to get him to say things, he wants no part of it and just run away. His parents just never took the time to really try to teach him when he was 2 but the get an attitude when I question them about him. I just feel so bad for him.
Please do whatever else you can to get your grandson help. He may have a hearing loss, or a physical condition which is causing his speech impediment. Can you talk to his pediatrician, and see if he or she will stress how important this is to his parents? IF your grandson is in daycare or preschool, can his teacher(s) or caregiver(s) talk to his parents?
Meanwhile, when your grandson is with you, try some of the ideas I just suggested in my previous post. Four is way too old to be so cavalier about hearing, speech, and communication, and to let a child continue without pinpointing and treating the cause of such severe delays is extremely negligent, verging on abusive, on the part of his parents.
Thanks for the advice guys. I forgot to mention he was born with Ankyloglossia, as in the webbing (frenulum) reaches the tip of his tongue, and he can't stick it out. If he tries he looks like he's making an upside down heart, and it only reaches the middle of his lower lip. It hasn't kept him from eating or even making clicking sounds, but we have visited an oral surgeon and are going to get it clipped in a couple months. That could very well be impeding his speech.
He doesn't hang around a whole lot of kids. He is the only grandchild of both my parents and in laws, and even our cousins do not have children. And since I'm so young none of our friends have children. I've made friends with a girl whom has a son close to mine's age, but since we both work full time we see each other maybe once a week. He does go to sunday school at Church once a week, so at least he gets to socialize there.
Probably not autism, but a speech delay is also something you can evaluate for. Call your early intervention services. By 18 months, babies should be trying to talk (In general 18 month old babies have at least 2 words - usually mama or dada and one other).
At a year and a half, most children speak a dozen words (or more) clearly. Besides "Mama" and "Dada," favorite words include "bye-bye," "milk," "cookie," "car," "oh!," and "my." Many 18-month-old toddlers can also link two words together to form rudimentary sentences — sentences without linking verbs or other connecting words. She may say "All gone," "Want ball," or "Me up."
Thanks for the advice guys. I forgot to mention he was born with Ankyloglossia, as in the webbing (frenulum) reaches the tip of his tongue, and he can't stick it out. If he tries he looks like he's making an upside down heart, and it only reaches the middle of his lower lip. It hasn't kept him from eating or even making clicking sounds, but we have visited an oral surgeon and are going to get it clipped in a couple months. That could very well be impeding his speech.
He doesn't hang around a whole lot of kids. He is the only grandchild of both my parents and in laws, and even our cousins do not have children. And since I'm so young none of our friends have children. I've made friends with a girl whom has a son close to mine's age, but since we both work full time we see each other maybe once a week. He does go to sunday school at Church once a week, so at least he gets to socialize there.
If he has a physical problem that probably delays his speech I am amazed that his pediatrician or the oral surgeon did not request a speech evaluation. It may be nothing and he may quickly catch up to most children his age, but it may be something that needs intervention.
Nana gave some good examples of what many children his age are saying.
Well what you "forgot to tell us" is a very important element of his "problem". Once that gets taken care of it should make a big difference. I'm surprised our doctor is waiting so long to do this surgery. I know every case is different but my friend's child was born with this and they did the surgery at 6 months. No speech delays at all and recovery was a breeze.
Both myself and my son didn't talk until age 3. I wouldnt worry about it unless there are other reasons you have to worry. Does he just lay there listlessly? Does he avoid eye contact?
Well, my grandson is 4 already and not talking and I worry about him all the time. But his parents don't show any sort of urgency in the matter and I'm tired of arguing with my son about it. I was on them about this every since he was almost 2 years old and my personal view is that they are much to blame. He is a smart kid but mostly speak gibberish but I have picked up on just a few things like bye bye, daddy, and I have notice him repeating things from watching cartoon. When you try to work with to get him to say things, he wants no part of it and just run away. His parents just never took the time to really try to teach him when he was 2 but the get an attitude when I question them about him. I just feel so bad for him.
If he is already 4 years old he will be old enough to start 4-K in the fall. Basically 100% of his classmates will be speaking in full, long sentences. Due to his speech delays he will probably will quickly be referred for a speech evaluation (BTW , depending on the state the school will have 60 to 90 days before they need to hold an IEP meeting after the official referral is signed by the parents.)
If he will not be starting school in the fall because his school district does not have 4 year old kindergarten or his parents are not sending him to school or if you don't think that you can wait that long I do have a possible suggestion for you. I normally do not recommend that a grandparent or friend or neighbor do this, however, in this case it may be warranted.
You can call the local school district and ask to speak to the school psychologist or Director of Special Education and make an anonymous referral for your grandchild. Just say that you know a child that you strongly feel may need speech therapy and the parents have ignored it. Give them the child's name, age and parents name and address and most schools will contact the parents to set up an evaluation. Of course, because it is anonymous you will not know what happens or if they actually contact the parents but it is at least doing something.
I should point out that a very few children, who are normal, do not speak until they are 4 but that is quite unusual. It may be because everyone caters to the child so he does not need to talk to get his needs met, or the child is extremely, extremely shy, or the child is never spoken to (perhaps has parents who are mute or extremely quiet themselves or just don't feel that they need to talk to a child) or the child tends to watch & listen more than participate, or the child has a hearing loss or other reasons.
Good luck to you, Grandma.
Here is a list of typical language skills for a four year old.
can count to 10 or more
can name at least four colors
has a vocabulary of more than 1,000 words
puts together sentences of four or five words
asks the most questions of any age
Last edited by germaine2626; 05-25-2014 at 03:37 PM..
Thanks for the advice guys. I forgot to mention he was born with Ankyloglossia, as in the webbing (frenulum) reaches the tip of his tongue, and he can't stick it out. If he tries he looks like he's making an upside down heart, and it only reaches the middle of his lower lip. It hasn't kept him from eating or even making clicking sounds, but we have visited an oral surgeon and are going to get it clipped in a couple months. That could very well be impeding his speech.
He doesn't hang around a whole lot of kids. He is the only grandchild of both my parents and in laws, and even our cousins do not have children. And since I'm so young none of our friends have children. I've made friends with a girl whom has a son close to mine's age, but since we both work full time we see each other maybe once a week. He does go to sunday school at Church once a week, so at least he gets to socialize there.
That is a big thing to forget. Why have they waited so long to do this? It's not a 'could very well be' but 'most certainly is' impeding his speech.
Do you have an older child? My sister didn't talk until she was 4 years old. The pediatrician told my mother it was because our eldest sister did all the talking for her. It's true. She'd say X is thirsty, X wants this or that. When she finally talked, it was full sentences. She walked up to my sister and said, "Get out of my chair." And she never stopped talking. She's the type of person you can't get off the phone because you can't get a word in edgewise to say goodbye.
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