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I have no damn idea what's going to happen with them. I mean, I'm busting my neck to equip them with everything they need... a good education, solid relationships with family and friends, good influences, knowing right from wrong, etc... but in the end I have no clue if I'm getting it all right and what they will do with the opportunities provided. When y'all crack the code be sure to let me know. Heh.
I have no damn idea what's going to happen with them. I mean, I'm busting my neck to equip them with everything they need... a good education, solid relationships with family and friends, good influences, knowing right from wrong, etc... but in the end I have no clue if I'm getting it all right and what they will do with the opportunities provided. When y'all crack the code be sure to let me know. Heh.
And this is an honest answer and really, all you can do. Because, the fact of the matter is, our kids are individuals, with their own character, dreams and drive. Some of that is just who they are, not how they were parented. I've known kids with every conceivable opportunity and advantage, screw up or end up very average; and I've known kids who, by every measurable notion, have succeeded far beyond anyone's belief.
Will your child be successful because of the school they went to?
Will your child be successful because of your parental involvement along the way?
Will your child be successful due to good genetics?
Will your child be successful because they hung out with the right crowd?
I know everyone will have a different definition of success but it seems some put a lot of emphasis on one certain factor.
I think peers would be first and that includes their school. Fortunately, parents can influence their child's peers by moving to the right neighborhood.
Involved parents and genetics can go both ways. Every day I see kids who could be very capable floundering because they have parents who coddle them. For them, genetics isn't going to matter because their parents are standing in the way of them using what God gave them.
If I had to bet on one thing, I'd bet on living in the right neighborhood. I WISH I'd realized how important that was when I was choosing where to live. Unfortunately, back then I thought parenting and genetics would determine my children's fate. I am finding both as a parent and a teacher that peers matter more than parents or genetics.
Here in Jersey people OBSESS over the freaking schools. I always believe that parenting > schools (unless the schools are so rough that learning is hindered by gangs, thugs, and parents that don't care in the majority of the population)
I went to a top tier school when I was a youngster. My wife went to school in a poor area of NJ. She is more successful than me.
A certain crowd obsesses over schools everywhere, not just in NJ.
What happened to you and your wife says nothing. More often than not, it's the other way around.
I think peers would be first and that includes their school. Fortunately, parents can influence their child's peers by moving to the right neighborhood.
Involved parents and genetics can go both ways. Every day I see kids who could be very capable floundering because they have parents who coddle them. For them, genetics isn't going to matter because their parents are standing in the way of them using what God gave them.
If I had to bet on one thing, I'd bet on living in the right neighborhood. I WISH I'd realized how important that was when I was choosing where to live. Unfortunately, back then I thought parenting and genetics would determine my children's fate. I am finding both as a parent and a teacher that peers matter more than parents or genetics.
I myself am a firm believer in the influence of peers. It is devilish how strong it can be.
I think later in life as a working adult it's important to surround yourself with "successful people" if that is what you are after.
In childhood I'm not sure you can measure the outcome. As parents we like to think we can manipulate the outcome but we can only give them values and opportunities to explore.
Not everything that matters can be measured, and not everything that is measured matters....Thomas Edison
all we can do as parents is hope after we have given it our best. if your kids are living a independent, self sufficient life and happy, then that's success.
Any of them have the potential to bring a child to his best or worst.
Life is a journey, prepare your children the best you can and leave the rest to fate.
Some of the most $$$ successful people I know had very difficult teen years and werent generating "honor roll" bumper stickers for their parents.
If I had to think of one thing that is "controllable" it would be the ability for parents to consistently set good examples of honesty, compassion, integrity and self worth even if its not being visibly received by the child, trust me, it is registering for future reference!
I will pass this along to friends who are in education. Thanks.
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Thanks.
