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Fortunately, my friends don't whip out a funnel and start chucking a six pack in the first moments of a party.
But these people aren't your friends. They are the parents of your children's friends. You said you want them at the party because you don't know them. That means you have no idea how all of the adults will respond to alcohol. You don't know their tolerance or ability to control themselves, and you don't know how they will view you for serving alcohol around their children. You want to get to know the parents of your children's friends. Well, they might not like what they learn about you if they disapprove of alcohol at children's parties.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PedroMartinez
There may be a circumstance where a child's parent does drink to excess; however, it would be the same kind of problem if the child's parent who didn't stay at the party went to a bar and then returned to pick the child up stumbling drunk.
No, it wouldn't be the same. The children at the party wouldn't be exposed to the parent's behavior for the entire party. If they show up drunk, it would be a brief encounter and some children might already have left.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PedroMartinez
Do you require parents to remain with their children at your child's party? If you don't, what is your plan if they return a bit early falling down drunk and belligerent?
To even think of such a scenario makes me wonder what type of people live in your children's school district. I have never had a parent arrive drunk when picking up their children. The odds of a parent going to a bar to drink are much less than the odds of a parent drinking at a party that is serving alcohol.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PedroMartinez
The point is that you can run into this problem even if you don't serve alcohol at the party.
In my corner of the world, parents don't go sit in bars while their children attend parties. If they do in your region, it's not the same as serving it at your house. By serving it, you are condoning and creating the possibility yourself. Parents are supposed to set examples for children. If a parent gets drunk at your house, the example you set is that you provided the alcohol. If a parent shows up drunk to pick up a child, you are innocent in the eyes of your child because you didn't contribute to the parent getting drunk, and other parents won't view you at fault either.
It seems you have made up your mind. Don't be surprised if some of your guests judge you for serving alcohol and stop allowing their children to go to your house for play dates.
I have no issue with it so long as the parents are drinking responsibly and it isn't the main focus.
I've been to kids parties where there were 4 coolers of beer and a clear after thought of drinks for the kids with a few bottles of water and a couple of juices. I think that's out of line.
Now, if the kids are all taken care of and the focus is the kids, not the drinking then I don't have an issue with the adults having a few beers.
Maybe because my kid is still young, but all the adults stay at the kids parties I go to. It's a chance for us to socialize whilst our kids play and everyone is always good about keeping an eye on their kids.
As for staying, I only stayed if my kids wanted us to, or if the parents invited me to or if they weren't swimming fully on their own and it was a pool party.
I once lived in an area where alcohol at little kids' parties was unheard of --- kids' parties were for kids and adults only dropped the invitees off and picked them up by the time given on the invitation. The parents throwing the party didn't have to also entertain or wine and dine the adults.
It was a bit of a cultural shock when I moved to where I live now and saw that kids' parties are for adults also and there is always lots of beer. The adults expect to stay and be fed and entertained -- not just the parents but often grandparents, aunts and uncles.
So whatever people want to do will work -- if you think someone might think it's a no-no, just put it on the invitation and there won't be any questions.
This. I am from New Orleans and there is usually alcohol served for the adults. A very cultural thing. Heck, alcohol is served at church carnivals, church sponsored sports games, etc. I love NOLA!
I'm planning to start having the birthday parties for our children at home this next year. We are shopping for a pool now (with heater), and I plan to rent an inflatable or two, bring in a tray or two of nuggets for the kids and grill for the adults.
I plan to serve alcohol, beer and wine, to the adults, but I'm wondering if that might be considered a no no (I wouldn't think so).
My kids are currently 5 and 7, so I'll just use a blanket kid's birthday parties for children 5 - 10.
Is the party for the kids or for the adults? If it is for the kids, I would think that ice-cream and cake would be enough. IMHO.
Let the kids have their days without turning it into a drinking party for adults. Adults can drink anytime they want. They don't need an exscuse or a party. A kid has one birthday a year. Let it be theirs.
Very True. I would assume the second I give any Adult Beer, Cheese, Crackers, Pizza, . . or soda they will immediately drop supervision and focus on their food. Human beings just don't have the capability to both eat and drink and supervise at the same time!
Glad you brought this up. I'm canceling all food and drink immediately!
in all seriousness
Though anything is open for abuse, I see no real difference between serving beer and wine versus soda, water, and tea.
I think I would prefer to have a mixed case of beer and soda options available.
I would not want any kids drinking though (even sips with parents permission), I do not need a raid.
I think you and everyone else is missing the point entirely..........
This is "supposed" to be a birthday party for THE CHILD............NOT entertainment time for the adults.
Also no matter how hard you try "some" people will abuse the free alcohol available and then who do you call the adult's parents to come and get them?
If you want to have an adult party have an adult party and do not use your child's birthday as an excuse to drink.
I also wonder why one would blanket birthday parties. Were these children born on the same day just different years? Aren't their individual birthdays special enough to have a celebration of their own?
I have boys who are 2 weeks apart born in different years and they always had their own party and my brother and I are 18 days apart in the same month born different years and we also had our own individual party.
I would seriously hate to be a kid right now with parents who don't feel my birthday is special enough to give me my own party.
My daughter was born the day before my birthday and we did not "combine" our bithdays either, she had her own party and I had my own party the next day.
Here in Quebec, you would be considered a poor host to not have drinks at any celebration and that includes a children's birthday.
I've never seen anyone intoxicated at a children's party here, that sounds absurd but people here do not have the same attitude towards booze as they do in other places like the US, so I guess maybe that's what you all have seen.
I think you and everyone else is missing the point entirely..........
This is "supposed" to be a birthday party for THE CHILD............NOT entertainment time for the adults.
Also no matter how hard you try "some" people will abuse the free alcohol available and then who do you call the adult's parents to come and get them?
Is there a reason that a party cannot be enjoyable for all that attend? I have no dog in the drinks or not fight. Either way would not seem strange to me. When we have parties for our kids, the parents who are friends stay. And we enjoy each others company, not sit around trying to be miserable because the party was not "for" us.
A bit of a highjack, but since I started it lol, I prefer parents remain at the party so that I can interact with them and vice versa. I don't feel comfortable not doing anything about the kids my kids hang out.
Additionally, what do you do with a troublemaker kid who is potentially ruining the party if his parents aren't there and he won't mind you? I think the more parents there to supervise the (their) children, the better.
Well anyhow by now you can see that this is kind of a regional/cultural thing. If it's not done where you live, people will look at you like you are really strange, but if it is the norm and you don't invite the parents in to join the party and offer them beer, you'll be weird. And in some places it's assumed that if you invite a child, all his siblings, a few cousins, parents, grandparents, etc can come and they will assume you will have refreshments like beer.
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