Roaring households! Can a yelling household raise a healthy child? (support, parents)

[Robinstyler]

I'm torn on this question. My opinion, which is supported by some data, is that a yelling household does more damage than good. Alternative opinions show that the lack of yelling in a household may be why we have misbehaved children that show no respect.

Your thoughts?

[Kibbiekat]

Do you have any data to share? I grew up in a house with yelling. I'm raising my kids with less yelling, but still there is some.

[maciesmom]

I think there is yelling and there is yelling....Not too much yelling when I was growing up. I can remember visiting with my college roommate's family. Their heritage was Mediterranean. Lot's of yelling. But also lots of love. They yelled and then they got over it.

[EvilCookie]

Originally Posted by maciesmom

I think there is yelling and there is yelling....Not too much yelling when I was growing up. I can remember visiting with my college roommate's family. Their heritage was Mediterranean. Lot's of yelling. But also lots of love. They yelled and then they got over it.

This. Some families are just loud and they yell - but it's all good spirited, with love, and the kids feel it. On the other hand, you can damage a child's life by saying things in a completely calm, quiet voice. In fact, people who are always very cool and collected and quiet tend to creep me out a lot more. It depends on what's said and more importantly, what's behind the words. A warm loving parent will raise great kids with or without yelling, while a cold, hostile one will not.
I lose patience and yell at my kid sometimes, though I really try not to, but it's mainly just regular requests said in a loud voice (after I've repeated them calmly over and over) - like '"i SAID, GET DRESSED RIGHT NOW, WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE!!". I know it's not a good thing anyways but it happens. On the other hand, I used to know a family a while ago where the dad was verbally abusive both to his daughter and wife and he would yell things at the four year old like "You're stupid! Why the hell were you even born!!". That, without a doubt, is extremely damaging and would screw the kid over majorly.

[Zimbochick]

There's noisy rambunctious, and then there's lack of self control screaming. They are completely different environments. I think you would be hard-pressed to find any data suggesting screaming as a means of attempting discipline or control is healthy.

[plmokn]

What does "healthy" mean?
What does "yelling household" mean?


All it takes is one healthy child to come from a yelling household for the answer to the poll question to be yes.

[Natsku]

There was a fair amount of yelling in my house when I was growing up, me and my brothers all turned out differently so its hard to say.

[Mattie]

My own parents weren't yellers. We had a three story house, with four boys on the top level, so they installed an intercom. I suppose they might have yelled if it didn't work.

My own family is on the quiet side. I used to yell every morning to get the boys moving so they didn't miss the bus. One day they pointed out that they were perfectly capable of getting up and out on their own, and the yelling bothered them. So, I started sleeping in, and left it to them to handle their own mornings. Peace reigned.

I do know many very happy Italian families who are louder than my own. Some might consider them to be yellers, but it's really their normal way of speaking. The yelling isn't usually done in anger, which is what makes the difference.

I never saw positive results from yelling when I was mad.

[CSD610]

There is a difference between raising your voice to get your point across in a stern manner and actual yelling.

Not much of either when I was growing up in our home or my Grandparent's but plenty of other family members were the yelling type. Other family members were just loud (hearing aids and such).

[stan4]

Many ethnic households are loud ones.
No harm, foul, or hard feelings. Just loud and passionate.