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Don't worry about the percentages. Just charge him something. $ 200- 300 a month is fair to start. That's just for being there. I hope you're also expecting him to do his own laundry, help with the chores around the house, etc. He's does that simply because he's still living at home and still part of the family unit.
If he doesn't like it, tell him bye, bye. And for God's sake don't let him make excuses or go running to mommy so she can run interference. Good luck- it's not always easy pushing the fledglings out of the nest.
$400 a month sounds fine. I hope he's also expected to do his own laundry, clean his own room and help with chores around the house. That's simply because he's there and is part of the family unit while he lives there. Why do I get the feeling that mom still doesn't mind being the maid service?
If he doesn't like it, tell him bye, bye. And for God's sake, don't let him make excuses or go running to mom so she can run interference for him. Sometimes it's not easy easy pushing the fledglings out of the nest.
First...good for you. I wish all parents did this.
Second...what I would do is put 75% of the money they give you into a secured interest bearing account and give back their money when they move out. Thats the best and most surprising gift they'll get from you.. After all, as a parent you brought a child into this world so now you need to help them, so taking all their money for yourself is not right. So at least the 25% you keep will help pay for their food consumption/electric/ect. The rest give right back in the future.
If you can swing that which I assume you can since you've been doing it his whole life, this is an excellent suggestion. It would really only be a surprise for the oldest, so the rest might expect it, but hopefully not every single one of your kids lives at home after college for years and years.
I can't tell you waht to say or how to say or whom to say it to. It's your situation and you are in the best position to decide all that but...
I will say this, you are doing the right thing and thinking about it the right way. And I am super smart so believe me about what I am saying (just a little joke). But I am serious about the way you are going about this.
I would ignore the people who say things that are slightly disparaging to your son. He is your son after all and he is working, good for him. But yes, he should contribute. He just doesn't want to, so what!? You and your wife should get together and decide what he should contribute, then tell him and let him argue all he wants. You two need to be on teh same page.
You don't need to charge him market rate. He's your son...you want to help him until he's ready to make the transition himself not push him out, I get it. And to all those who say yuo'l be helping him more by charging him mkt rate, I say BS. Families help each other in many ways, including financially. You don't have to be a hard a$$ to teach him about things.
I'm almost 40. When I was out of college I was living in my parents small walk in apt in the basement. I was made to pay rent, don't know how they decided how much but it was less than what they charged people who used to rent it. After a while I saved enough to get my own car, pay off some of my loans, and have a small savings cushion. I then decided it was time to go and am now pretty successfull (toot toot) and have my own family. The rent that I paid helped me to save enough to go out on my own.
You're doing the right thing OP, you don't need to be a hard a$$. Just keep doing what yuo are doing - being fair and setting the limitations that'll teach him responsibility while helping him to grow on his own. He's allowed to gripe over your decisions but your allowed to keep the rules the way you think are of the biggest help to him, that's what it's about after all.
If it's a fairness issue, why not ask the two older siblings what they think? They are in a better position to give advice than we are, and would at least let you know if bad feelings are going to be an issue.
Since the OP has stated that the child in question has higher student loans to pay off than his siblings, I would be inclined to subtract that extra amount from his take home, then arrive at an equitable %.
It is not the job of a child to endless succor the child. It is the job to teach the child how to be an adult. You're teaching him about rent and learning expenses.
But I think there has to be an end game. One year should be plenty, in which time the child has to also assist in chores such as mowing the grass, etc. The point is that the child should eventually want to have his own life.
Plus, a total of 12% of the kid's total gross for room and board is an awfully good deal. If he is that worried about student loans, he can use the bulk of his earnings to pay down his debt at a pretty fast clip. Seems pretty obvious to me.
And I think he means that the $400 per month for 12 months is $4,800/year, which is 12% of the annual salary.
You're right. I was thinking 10%.
Now that i'm reading it again, i have no idea what the OP is saying here. Is it 10% or is it 12%?
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