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Old 07-09-2013, 10:33 AM
 
Location: Finland
6,418 posts, read 7,244,561 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by prettykidsdad View Post
Meh.... some of her toys are musical instruments. And Books and DVD's played a key role in teaching her letters, numbers, and vocabulary if no other study says they did, the study of PrettyKidsDad in the PrettyKidsDad Journal of Medicine 2013 does.
The thing is that learning letters, numbers and vocabulary sooner rather than later makes no difference to her intellect. She won't be smarter just because she learnt them earlier.

**New Thread From This Post Started Here**

Last edited by Jaded; 07-09-2013 at 05:34 PM.. Reason: Added Split Thread
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Old 07-09-2013, 10:36 AM
 
63 posts, read 63,068 times
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Originally Posted by Natsku View Post
The thing is that learning letters, numbers and vocabulary sooner rather than later makes no difference to her intellect. She won't be smarter just because she learnt them earlier.
Thanks
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Old 07-09-2013, 10:49 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,480 posts, read 25,132,491 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by prettykidsdad View Post
That's what I meant when I responded to the post regarding them not being mutually exclusive. Buying toys doesn't mean you're not also saving for college. The question was about buying toys. Not about buying toys at the expense of going to college. College will be covered. Any more input on the toy question?
Sorry. We posters on C-D don't mean to insult you (at least I don't) but you must be in a much different life situation than many of us. I know that I am coming from a upper middle class background where often, tough choices need to be made between buying a lot of toys/books/DVDs/etc and paying bills and saving for upcoming college expenses. It must be wonderful to not be forced to choose between those things.
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Old 07-09-2013, 11:02 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
Sorry. We posters on C-D don't mean to insult you (at least I don't) but you must be in a much different life situation than many of us. I know that I am coming from a upper middle class background where often, tough choices need to be made between buying a lot of toys/books/DVDs/etc and paying bills and saving for upcoming college expenses.
No I understand there are those who mean no harm.

And then there are those whose hobby is to antagonize on websites (bless them).

For us, we make choices that limit our bills. That enables us to save X amount per month and have Y amount spending money. Some might choose to use that Y amount spending money on vacations or cooler cars than I drive or have more house than we have. I choose to use it on more things for my kid than stuff for me. Living below our means in several categories allows us to put money aside and spend on our guilty pleasures (in this case the little one). I'm not a clothes horse. I'm not a golf guy. I don't drink or smoke cubans. We don't have a small plane or frequently dine at Ruth's Chris. We do church hand me downs not LL Bean baby clothes. We do Ikea not Williams-Sonoma. Costco not Whole Foods. I also take her to museums etc. rather than full time day-care several days a week since I run my own business and that's a savings too. In other words, there's a lot the typical upper middle class family has that we fore go. And that allows us to accrue savings and still buy kids' stuff easily.
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Old 07-09-2013, 11:45 AM
 
Location: Home, Home on the Front Range
25,826 posts, read 20,692,117 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by prettykidsdad View Post
...
My question was more-so is there something mentally unhealthy about all the purchases and constant gift giving (not as in me being crazy for doing it) but is it damaging to her? Out of the gifts a few are building sets but most are books and DVD's. I'd say she has an extensive vocabulary for her age full sentences, can count to 20 etc. She can identify shapes, animals, letters, numbers, although she's not reading yet. I think she's doing pretty good for a 2 year old and I attribute a lot of that to these books, DVD's and just being around and putting in the time.

Maybe my initial post gave a poor impression that I'm struggling to feed her chicken nuggets and can't afford to keep decent shoes on her feet whilst "blowing money" on these gifts. That's not the case.

My question is, is there a negative psychological impact to her for always coming over to a couple new items? Or, is it okay to provide what you can for your child? I don't want an entitled, spoiled brat, with a consumerist complex. But past purchases are a part of the reason she does know her ABC's, colors, shapes, animals, etc. on a Kindergartener's level at 2. So I wouldn't really want to cut those out, but is too much?
At her age, I would say "no." She is not old enough to feel any real sense of entitlement, but, you do want to be mindful of the fact that if this pattern continues, by the time she is four or five it may be a very different story.

Question: do you rotate her toys, games, etc.? Rather than buying something new every week, how about pulling out something that she may not have played with or seen for a while or something that wasn't of great interest when first gifted. Kids change so much at that age, she may have new found appreciation for something that is sitting on a shelf somewhere.

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Old 07-09-2013, 11:48 AM
 
63 posts, read 63,068 times
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Originally Posted by TigerLily24 View Post
At her age, I would say "no." She is not old enough to feel any real sense of entitlement, but, you do want to be mindful of the fact that if this pattern continues, by the time she is four or five it may be a very different story.

Question: do you rotate her toys, games, etc.? Rather than buying something new every week, how about pulling out something that she may not have played with or seen for a while or something that wasn't of great interest when first gifted. Kids change so much at that age, she may have new found appreciation for something that is sitting on a shelf somewhere.

Someone else suggested that. I'll try it. Like many kids her age a paper towel tube can make a great toy lol so I will maybe switch it up.
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Old 07-09-2013, 12:29 PM
 
12,003 posts, read 11,888,749 times
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A while back, someone posted that musical toys were the only ones proven to increase intelligence.

My take differs. Rather than focusing on intelligence, which is a debatable quality and one difficult to measure, look for toys which will enrich a child's life by increasing imagination, creativity, vocabulary, ability to play happily independently, ability to play happily with others, and so on. Musical instruments fall into this category, of course, but so do many, many other toys. Academic prowess is secondary, though a child who develops the above qualities is likely to do very well academically, when the time comes.

I read once that the best toys are those which were around in one form or another in the 1950s. Think about it: that would include bikes, trikes, scooters, roller and ice skates, pogo sticks, slinkies, little red wagons, balls of all kinds, racquets of all kinds, dolls and doll houses and doll furniture, baby rattles and squeeze toys, rubber duckies and other bathtub toys, beach balls and blow-up rafts for the pool or beach, stuffed animals, rocking horses, building blocks, puzzles, magic kits, toy nurse and doctor kits, toy musical instruments, Tinker Toys and Lincoln Logs, swings and slides and seesaws and jungle gyms, crayons and paints, modeling clay, board games, toy boats, cars, firetrucks, and planes, model farms, toy trains, and much, much more.

And of course, children's books.

Classic toys that have stood the test of time - many of them were around in one form or another in 1850. Not that kids should play with actual vintage or antique toys - but look for today's version of these time-tested favorites. They've stuck around for very good reasons.

All these toys were designed to increase creativity in the child. Very few pushbuttons, some wind-up toy novelties, but mostly, no-batteries-needed toys which foster hands-on imaginative play and/or cooperative play and friendly competition with other kids.

Far better to provide such toys than to park a child in front of a screen of some kind.
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Old 07-09-2013, 12:35 PM
 
63 posts, read 63,068 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CraigCreek View Post
A while back, someone posted that musical toys were the only ones proven to increase intelligence.

My take differs. Rather than focusing on intelligence, which is a debatable quality and one difficult to measure, look for toys which will enrich a child's life by increasing imagination, creativity, vocabulary, ability to play happily independently, ability to play happily with others, and so on. Musical instruments fall into this category, of course, but so do many, many other toys. Academic prowess is secondary, though a child who develops the above qualities is likely to do very well academically, when the time comes.

I read once that the best toys are those which were around in one form or another in the 1950s. Think about it: that would include bikes, trikes, scooters, roller and ice skates, pogo sticks, slinkies, little red wagons, balls of all kinds, racquets of all kinds, dolls and doll houses and doll furniture, baby rattles and squeeze toys, rubber duckies and other bathtub toys, beach balls and blow-up rafts for the pool or beach, stuffed animals, rocking horses, building blocks, puzzles, magic kits, toy nurse and doctor kits, toy musical instruments, Tinker Toys and Lincoln Logs, swings and slides and seesaws and jungle gyms, crayons and paints, modeling clay, board games, toy boats, cars, firetrucks, and planes, model farms, toy trains, and much, much more.

And of course, children's books.

Classic toys that have stood the test of time - many of them were around in one form or another in 1850. Not that kids should play with actual vintage or antique toys - but look for today's version of these time-tested favorites. They've stuck around for very good reasons.

All these toys were designed to increase creativity in the child. Very few pushbuttons, some wind-up toy novelties, but mostly, no-batteries-needed toys which foster hands-on imaginative play and/or cooperative play and friendly competition with other kids.

Far better to provide such toys than to park a child in front of a screen of some kind.
Awesome answer thanks.
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Old 07-09-2013, 07:53 PM
 
2,547 posts, read 4,226,819 times
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I don't think it's a big deal yet, but be aware that she will start expecting the gifts sooner than later. My MIL brings DS a gift or a treat (according to her we don't feed him enough sweets ) every single time she sees him, and already at 2.5 he would run up as soon as he heard her come in and demand a treat. He's 3,5 now, and just recently she dropped by really shortly to give something to DH, and didn't bring anything for once. When she was leaving, DS suddenly exclaimed, with genuine puzzlement in his voice: Nana! You forgot to bring me a gift! LOL.
Of course, wouldn't you know, while we all laughed and shook our heads that she spoils him too much, she got all upset and started apologizing for not bringing anything! SMH. I don't even want to think what it'll be like in a few years, but really she brought it upon herself.

I know how tempting it is to buy new things for your kid, but I try to restrain myself because I don't want the entitlement. I try to only buy something if a) I see some really really fantastic toy in a category he doesn't have yet, or b) as a reward for very good behaviour, we'll go to the store and pick out a new toy together. The one exception to this is books, being a bookworm myself I get whatever books look good, but we also go to the library a lot. And workbooks, because they're educational, he loves doing them and they keep him busy for a long time. As others suggested, try coming up with games or fun activities to do instead and play with the toys she does have. Paint, do crafts, play with water, bake cookies, have her help you do housework or 'fix' things. Oh, and from the mom of a fellow electronics lover - try giving her an old radio or remote or keyboard to play with, it fascinates them no less than a kiddie computer toy.
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Old 07-10-2013, 09:29 AM
 
63 posts, read 63,068 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EvilCookie View Post
I don't think it's a big deal yet, but be aware that she will start expecting the gifts sooner than later. My MIL brings DS a gift or a treat (according to her we don't feed him enough sweets ) every single time she sees him, and already at 2.5 he would run up as soon as he heard her come in and demand a treat. He's 3,5 now, and just recently she dropped by really shortly to give something to DH, and didn't bring anything for once. When she was leaving, DS suddenly exclaimed, with genuine puzzlement in his voice: Nana! You forgot to bring me a gift! LOL.
Of course, wouldn't you know, while we all laughed and shook our heads that she spoils him too much, she got all upset and started apologizing for not bringing anything! SMH. I don't even want to think what it'll be like in a few years, but really she brought it upon herself.

I know how tempting it is to buy new things for your kid, but I try to restrain myself because I don't want the entitlement. I try to only buy something if a) I see some really really fantastic toy in a category he doesn't have yet, or b) as a reward for very good behaviour, we'll go to the store and pick out a new toy together. The one exception to this is books, being a bookworm myself I get whatever books look good, but we also go to the library a lot. And workbooks, because they're educational, he loves doing them and they keep him busy for a long time. As others suggested, try coming up with games or fun activities to do instead and play with the toys she does have. Paint, do crafts, play with water, bake cookies, have her help you do housework or 'fix' things. Oh, and from the mom of a fellow electronics lover - try giving her an old radio or remote or keyboard to play with, it fascinates them no less than a kiddie computer toy.
Thanks! All good stuff... I've found the same thing with old electronics but I still got her something new just because I see it as a learning tool.
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