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My concern would be the inevitable *I'm bored,* when she doesn't get a *new* toy. Imo, kids need a little boredom and need to learn how to make there own fun. At two, this is less of a problem, but still, at two my kids did not need toys to be entertained. We made things out of recycled toilet tissue rolls and paper towel rolls and played with those. Also, imo, creativity if much more important than playing with electronic toys and watching dvds. So, do have legos (duplos for the younger kids) and blocks to build with and plain paper to cut and color on (coloring books are over-rated, drawing your own picture is much better and just as much fun). Get playdough which is reusable and make different animals to play with or make food and have a tea party. Get an easel and paints or use a child size table and huge paper to finger paint with. Get contact paper and let her make a collage by cutting pictures from old magazines and pasting them on the contact paper (no messy glue needed). Do messy play with different things like shaving cream and chocolate pudding (use the shaving cream only after she is out of the putting things in her mouth phase).
Excellent points.
I still remember when my daughter was about 2 or 2 1/2, when we were in the car during long trips she frequently would take off her socks & shoes and put on plays using her toes and fingers as the characters. It was really funny to see her wiggling her toes and having them "talk" to the toes on the other foot or to her hands.
I wonder if all of those children who watch DVDs in the car while traveling have ever experienced the joy of creating their own movie using their own hands & feet?
The truth is she doesn't play with all her toys. She finds stuffed animals to be essentially useless but is intrigued by electronics. I've heard a lot of criticism about electronics but her her first computer like device. She'll be using them her whole life. I would assume it's doing her a favor to introduce her to age appropriate "starter computers" now might put her ahead if the curve if she develops a love for it. But I will check out the article thanks.
On a similar note, I've heard a lot of criticisms of "plopping kids down in front of the TV" but PBS along with certain educational DVDs have clearly contributed heavily to her development. Would she be farther along if we plopped her down in front of a wall to watch paint dry?
Not meaning to sound too snarky - but she'd be farther along if you'd plop her down in your lap and read and discuss picture books with her, rather than leaving her in front of the TV, no matter what kind of DVDs she watches.
Read those picture books with lots of expression, and don't rush through them - use different voices for different characters. If they include rhyming lines, pause and let her fill in the last rhyming word. Ask her if she can find various things in the illustrations. Ask her what she thinks might happen next, and what happened after the story ends. Have her draw a picture of the main character, or retell the story in her own words, or act it out with those under-used stuffed animals and/or dolls.
Not only the picture books, but the affectionate and enjoyable interaction with you and the encouragement to use her mind and imagination that she'll receive far outweigh the benefits of DVDs, no matter how educational their contents are intended to be.
I still remember when my daughter was about 2 or 2 1/2, when we were in the car during long trips she frequently would take off her socks & shoes and put on plays using her toes and fingers as the characters. It was really funny to see her wiggling her toes and having them "talk" to the toes on the other foot or to her hands.
I wonder if all of those children who watch DVDs in the car while traveling have ever experienced the joy of creating their own movie using their own hands & feet?
What a delightful, creative, and imaginative daughter you have! Thanks for sharing this - she sounds like a great little girl.
I have a toddler who I get once a week. I never really had a lot of "cool" toys growing up no GI Joes or Transformers. I don't make a lot of money. We don't live in the best area. But one of my greatest joys is just going online and looking for things for my little one that might be fun and buying them. She has more toys than you can shake a stick at.
It's to the point almost weekly she has a new "present" waiting.
Most of these are educational in nature and some are as simple as coloring books. Others are more extravagant. I spend far more on the child than I do on myself.
A relative's birthday recently came up and there was a box. She thought it was for her. I told her it was not for her but for the relative. She got upset and re-iterated that it was for her.
Yesterday, I found myself binge-toy shopping again. I spent way too much money (some was on stuff for me but I can never just buy myself something without buying 2 or 3 things for her. It finally occurred to me that maybe I put these things in the closet until Christmas.
What do you think? Is my overgifting hurting my child? Most of the gifts are books and educational DVD's etc. Some toys like Legos. But is it irresponsible of me or am I just giving my child what I never had? What are your thoughts on gifts for kids and is there a tipping "TOO MUCH" point? Because she's my greatest joy and I love to spoil her and give her all the learning advantages I can.
I did the same thing with my oldest son. He was my first child and I did not have much as a child at all. I wanted my child to have more than I did. Most of what I bought was also educational. As long as you can and do pay your bills I think it is your choice what to do. One good thing that came of it was I hardly had to buy anything as I had more children, they just played with the things I had bought my oldest.
I have a toddler who I get once a week. I never really had a lot of "cool" toys growing up no GI Joes or Transformers. I don't make a lot of money. We don't live in the best area. But one of my greatest joys is just going online and looking for things for my little one that might be fun and buying them. She has more toys than you can shake a stick at.
It's to the point almost weekly she has a new "present" waiting.
Most of these are educational in nature and some are as simple as coloring books. Others are more extravagant. I spend far more on the child than I do on myself.
A relative's birthday recently came up and there was a box. She thought it was for her. I told her it was not for her but for the relative. She got upset and re-iterated that it was for her.
Yesterday, I found myself binge-toy shopping again. I spent way too much money (some was on stuff for me but I can never just buy myself something without buying 2 or 3 things for her. It finally occurred to me that maybe I put these things in the closet until Christmas.
What do you think? Is my overgifting hurting my child? Most of the gifts are books and educational DVD's etc. Some toys like Legos. But is it irresponsible of me or am I just giving my child what I never had? What are your thoughts on gifts for kids and is there a tipping "TOO MUCH" point? Because she's my greatest joy and I love to spoil her and give her all the learning advantages I can.
Your job is to raise a happy, healthy, well-adjusted, responsible adult. Which do you think is going to have more of an impact on that, binge buying toys, or saving for her college/grad school?
Your job is to raise a happy, healthy, well-adjusted, responsible adult. Which do you think is going to have more of an impact on that, binge buying toys, or saving for her college/grad school?
You're assuming that they are mutually exclusive. All her schooling has already been declared paid for by wealthy relatives. What I add to that is just icing on the cake. Though I had scholarships all through college and post-bachelor's education and expect she would have a good chance of doing the same. I also assume she'd have a better chance of doing so if I continue to purchase items that give her an intellectual and athletic edge. So pretty much got that dilemma covered 6 ways.
You're assuming that they are mutually exclusive. All her schooling has already been declared paid for by wealthy relatives. What I add to that is just icing on the cake. Though I had scholarships all through college and post-bachelor's education and expect she would have a good chance of doing the same. I also assume she'd have a better chance of doing so if I continue to purchase items that give her an intellectual and athletic edge. So pretty much got that dilemma covered 6 ways.
Declared?
If you do not have the trust fund with her name on it, than nothing is set in stone. I know this firsthand. My cousin grew up think she had her college "covered" by her grandparents. Well a death and remarriage happened during her senior year and she was not going to be given any money as it turns out. Her parents are middle class, they could have saved a significant sum if they had chosen too but it was "covered". She had to turn down her acceptance to a good private liberal arts school and tried to do the community college thing. She never finished.
Word to the wise, if the trust fund is not in your hands, its better to save for her future yourself. Expect 200k for undergrad. If you can do that while spoiling her with toys, more power to you.
Oh and BTW, toys will not make her "smarter" in any way. The only "toy" that has been shown to raise IQ are musical instruments.
You're assuming that they are mutually exclusive. All her schooling has already been declared paid for by wealthy relatives. What I add to that is just icing on the cake. Though I had scholarships all through college and post-bachelor's education and expect she would have a good chance of doing the same. I also assume she'd have a better chance of doing so if I continue to purchase items that give her an intellectual and athletic edge. So pretty much got that dilemma covered 6 ways.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714
Declared?
If you do not have the trust fund with her name on it, than nothing is set in stone. I know this firsthand. [b]My cousin grew up think she had her college "covered" by her grandparents. Well a death and remarriage happened during her senior year and she was not going to be given any money as it turns out. Her parents are middle class, they could have saved a significant sum if they had chosen too but it was [/B]"covered". She had to turn down her acceptance to a good private liberal arts school and tried to do the community college thing. She never finished.
Word to the wise, if the trust fund is not in your hands, its better to save for her future yourself. Expect 200k for undergrad. If you can do that while spoiling her with toys, more power to you.
Oh and BTW, toys will not make her "smarter" in any way. The only "toy" that has been shown to raise IQ are musical instruments.
ikb0714 makes a very good point. We had a somewhat similar situation in my extended family and it ended up that my very bright cousin had to scrimp, borrow money and work so hard that she barely made it through a two year associate program. Up until her second semester of her senior year of high school she too had thought that the money was there to pay her full expenses at a four year University.
We were very close and I still remember her crying and crying when she found out that the money that she had be told for her whole life was in trust fund savings to pay for her education wasn't really available to her after all. It was really sad.
This type of thing must happen fairly often, as I know a second person that it happened to as well. My son's best friend was told that there was an account from his grandparents to pay all his expenses for college. He found out as a senior in high school that the account was empty. Although, I don't know all of the details in this situation I believe that it was also due to a remarriage and the new spouse removing the money from the account.
We don't want to panic you, but just passing on words of caution.
Last edited by germaine2626; 07-09-2013 at 10:39 AM..
ikb0714 makes a very good point. We had a somewhat similar situation in my extended family and it ended up that my very bright cousin had to scrimp, borrow money and work so hard that she barely made it through a two year associate program. Up until her senior year of high school she too had thought that the money was there to pay her full expenses at a four year University.
We were very close and I still remember her crying and crying when she found out that the money that she had be told for her whole life was in trust fund savings to pay for her education wasn't really available to her after all. It was really sad.
That's what I meant when I responded to the post regarding them not being mutually exclusive. Buying toys doesn't mean you're not also saving for college. The question was about buying toys. Not about buying toys at the expense of going to college. College will be covered. Any more input on the toy question?
If you do not have the trust fund with her name on it, than nothing is set in stone. I know this firsthand. My cousin grew up think she had her college "covered" by her grandparents. Well a death and remarriage happened during her senior year and she was not going to be given any money as it turns out. Her parents are middle class, they could have saved a significant sum if they had chosen too but it was "covered". She had to turn down her acceptance to a good private liberal arts school and tried to do the community college thing. She never finished.
Word to the wise, if the trust fund is not in your hands, its better to save for her future yourself. Expect 200k for undergrad. If you can do that while spoiling her with toys, more power to you.
Oh and BTW, toys will not make her "smarter" in any way. The only "toy" that has been shown to raise IQ are musical instruments.
Meh.... some of her toys are musical instruments. And Books and DVD's played a key role in teaching her letters, numbers, and vocabulary if no other study says they did, the study of PrettyKidsDad in the PrettyKidsDad Journal of Medicine 2013 does.
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