Summer = Parent Irresponsibility and Neglect (babysit, teens, activity, smart)
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Just put out some big juicy apples that will make them fall into a coma until they are kissed by some random royalty person. You will get rd of them all soon enough.
i think you are playing into this fantasy neighborhood idea bc you want to believe that you live in pleasantville or leave-it-to-beaver-land for whatever reason so you don't assert yourself in addressing what is really just laziness on the part of other parents. you may live in a kid-filled neighborhood with nice houses but the other part of it is that you also live in a place with lazy parents who enjoying using other people who will let them. period.
so, now that we've got that out of the way, why would you keep a four year old who is someone else's child at your house for 3 or 4 hours? what made you think that was appropriate? the child did not check in with his parents and you just kept him there for 3-4 hours. what if the parent was actually LOOKING for this kid?
just stop keeping kids at your house for hours at a time and stop feeding into the ideas that you have to be joan cleaver (or whatever her name way). let the fantasy go. you're not joan cleaver. you're just someone who is not willing to speak up for yourself so people are taking advantage of you. speak up. send the kids home. i would not keep ANY child of ANY age in my home for even one hour if i was not sure that the parent was aware and was ok with it.
i think not indulging the child will solve all of your problems and it's alot easier than confronting the parent or bringing it up at the HOA because that would require alot more assertiveness. Just send the kid home after you've had enough.
It's easy, and many of the posters have said it. Lock your front door and your side gates. Kids will have to ring the doorbell. You can choose to open- or not. Bring back the INVITATION, where you call a parent and arrange a playdate with a drop off and pick up. That's it.
It's easy, and many of the posters have said it. Lock your front door and your side gates. Kids will have to ring the doorbell. You can choose to open- or not. Bring back the INVITATION, where you call a parent and arrange a playdate with a drop off and pick up. That's it.
That kind of defeats the purpose of living in a kid-centric neighborhood. I like the idea of kids ringing the bell on their own to see who can play. Why do parents have to be involved if kids on the same block want to play? Open the door, and gently push them all out.
That kind of defeats the purpose of living in a kid-centric neighborhood. I like the idea of kids ringing the bell on their own to see who can play. Why do parents have to be involved if kids on the same block want to play? Open the door, and gently push them all out.
I agree. Just because they are allowed to come over doesn't mean they need to stay for hours on end and eat the OP's food. She just needs to set some limits.
The solution to this problem is easy enough. "Time to go home." Period. Just because your doorbell rings or kids show up on your doorstep does not mean you have to invite in, feed, and monitor every one. Send them on their way.
The real problem seems to be why you don't want to say anything or offend lazy, neglectful parents who NEED to be, if not offended, at least told that you are not the neighborhood free babysitter. Of course by now, you've played that role and they are used to shipping their kids to your house and taking a nap, so it will probably actually take offending someone to get it to stop now. It's easier to put your foot down from the beginning.
There needs to be some sort of discussion amongst the parents. If it is a close knit neighborhood, setting some ground rules should be pretty simple. Is there anyway that the house of kid central could rotate to allow every set of parents a free day to get things done. Mon- Johnny's parents host, Tues-*SallySue's parents, Wed- your turn, Thurs-*JimBob's parents and Friday-everyone stays at their own home- unless specified play date with *one* kid of their choice or whatever y'all decide.
Or just put a sign up stating the hours of operation on your front door and take the sign off your back that's say "doormat".
That kind of defeats the purpose of living in a kid-centric neighborhood. I likethe idea of kids ringing the bell on their own to see who can play. Why do parents have to be involved if kids on the same block want to play? Open the door, and gently push them all out.
That sounds like a great idea for 10 to 12 year olds, but the OP talked about 3 to 7 year old kids just wandering in the neighborhood without their parents even knowing, or apparently caring, where they were. Mattie, and other readers who think this is a great idea, do you really think that it is safe for a preschool age child to just go up to anyone's house, ring the bell to see who can play?
The OP mentioned that a parent was bragging about their three hour nap while they had absolutely no idea where their four year old child was at that time. Is that really an "idea" that you like? Do you really think that parents do not need to be involved with supervising their 3 to 7 year olds and where they are playing?
Maybe I am old fashioned, but I always felt that I needed to know where my 3 to 7 year old children were and who was supervising them. I just didn't "gently push them all out" the door at 8 AM and start calling other parents four or five hours later to find them (as the OP describes her neighborhood).
As some of the other posters said, the OP needs to be muchmore assertive about kicking kids out if they have been there too long or if they interfere with meal time or family time.
Last edited by germaine2626; 06-24-2013 at 10:53 PM..
The solution to this problem is easy enough. "Time to go home." Period. Just because your doorbell rings or kids show up on your doorstep does not mean you have to invite in, feed, and monitor every one. Send them on their way.
The real problem seems to be why you don't want to say anything or offend lazy, neglectful parents who NEED to be, if not offended, at least told that you are not the neighborhood free babysitter. Of course by now, you've played that role and they are used to shipping their kids to your house and taking a nap, so it will probably actually take offending someone to get it to stop now. It's easier to put your foot down from the beginning.
Very well stated. It is only mid-June so this summer's patterns are not firmly set. Be firm, OP, or you may end up with every kid in the neighborhood at your house every day, all day, until school starts in the fall.
Just don't answer your door, if you don't feel like saying no but don't want to be the free babysitter. Park the car in the garage and nobody will know if you're home or not. You can't be responsible for everyone's kids all the time.
I've had a few neighbors who thought that because I was home all the time, it meant I would want to watch their little kids for free all the time. We moved in after my kids were past the childproofing age, and my kids don't want to play with a 3 year old, and my house is not really set up for little kids. Now that we're homeschooling, I just tell the kids (or the parents, sometimes they come and ask) that we're having school that day even if it is a holiday for the other kids. I will watch a neighbor's child if it's an emergency, and I will watch my friends' kids, but I can't be the free nanny for my neighborhood.
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