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I know one fairly well. He's an attorney who walked away from the rat race. He homeschools, knows all the neighbors by their first names, is married to a very nice woman, has terrific kids, well-behaved dogs, drives an environmentally sound car, walks two miles at a brisk pace every morning, and, whenever I peek in his cart at the grocery store I'm reminded that he's a lot more careful about what he feeds his family than I ever was.
DH makes way more than I ever could. Even when he was laid off, when our youngest was a baby, I still did most of the work. He could always think of something he had to do, someplace he had to go. I don't think it would work for him.
I really think it depends on the people. It can be like the guy who said he could never do it, he'd find it too emasculating and humiliating, or the guy whose wife never let him forget that she made more $$ than him. Or it can be a partnership where both sides are grateful for the other's unique contributions. It also requires that both people are secure AND mature. No belittling allowed. No trying to "one-up" the other on who does more or who suffers more. You have to let a lot of stuff go, either in word or in deed. (Like not bitching when the dishes aren't done, and not complaining when you don't get time alone).
It can work -- some of us are living proof -- but it is not the norm, sad to say, even in these more-enlightened times, and some folks delight in making us feel somehow lesser because we have different roles. Why? Who knows. I guess it makes them feel superior.
Would I be one? Hell yeah I'd be one. Watch TV, cook and have free time all day while the woman brings home a ton of money. Yeah, life sounds like it'd be sooooo hard.
Cook two to three nutritious meals a day, pay the bills and manage the household budget, keep the home stocked with necessities and groceries (this means shopping with kids), clean the baseboards and trim and blinds and light fixtures and corners and walls and windows regularly (not to mention the floors, bedding, dusting, vacuuming, mopping, toilet scrubbing, etc), attend all school functions, drive kids to all after school activities and doctors' visits, including orthodontics appts, music lessons, sports, etc., keep yourself fit and healthy by exercising regularly, keep the flower beds and garden flourishing, help with homework and school projects, clean up poop and vomit and pee and blood when necessary, keep various pets alive and well taken care of, spend quality time with each child and your spouse every day...and then tell me how much free time you have to sit around and watch TV.
By the way, my youngest daughter is active duty Air Force and her husband had to get out of the military due to health issues. They are currently stationed overseas, and they have three girls ages 2, 5, and 7. He is a SAHD and does a TERRIFIC job with those girls - and he's a great cook as well! He does all of the above and then some - and is about as manly as they come. I am very proud of their family.
I would love to do that, but I make ten times what my wife makes so it is impractical. We would have to move to a trailer park, dump the pets, default on some debt. . . it would be a mess.
I do not think I woudl have loved it when the kids were babies. I do not like babies all that much. I have no interest in being covered in anyone's slimy effluvia. Post diapers and other uncontrolled slimy emissions, I would love to do it. Kids are great. I enjoy housework when I have time for it. It allows you to achieve a feeling of immediate accomplishment. Obviously it is not all roses, but I think I woudl enjoy it.
Would I be one? Hell yeah I'd be one. Watch TV, cook and have free time all day while the woman brings home a ton of money. Yeah, life sounds like it'd be sooooo hard.
If that is your concept of what parenting involves then it can only be from lack of experience on the matter - and if that is how you would parent a child I can only hope that you never have one.
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Originally Posted by AbsolutePwnage
I've had women flip out at me when I asked her to pay dutch or the whole FOURTH date (after I paid for the first three), so I'd imagine the relationship would be kiboshed the second I wanted to stay at home while she worked. Do women actually exist that would be fine with their husband staying at home if the situation called for it in short stints?
You appear to be attracting some pretty awful women then and I do not think your sample set is representative at all. I think most PEOPLE (not splitting this into women and men) when they get together - and have children - simply want to do whatever is best to financially support the family unit as a whole - regardless of which (or both) parents this means have to go into the work force in their particular case.
The decision to be (or not be) a SAHD should be based on what is best for the whole family - not what sex each person happens to be.
My Husband would be one in a heartbeat. I'd love to make triple my salary in a secure field and let him stay home. He has day dreamed about it on and off. Once I went back to work from maternity leave he took two weeks off to stay at home with the baby before grandparent care kicked in. He loved it. I'd come home everyday, he'd be strutting around with a towel on his sholder, burping a baby. Rug vaccumed, something in the microwave, complaining about an unorganized linen closet.....ah....it was THE LIFE for a working life.
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