Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
What would you consider the best age to have a baby?
My boyfriend really wants a kid, while I am unsure if I still want kids, I have been thinking about it. But I want to do it right. I'm 19 and in college. I want to be a dentist, so I'm looking at 8+ years of schooling. By the time I get out of dental school, get established and pay off my loans I'll be in my mid thirties. Would it be better to have a child while getting my bachelors, so that while I'm in dental school they'd be a toddler and my boyfriend would be supporting us, or should I wait to my mid or possibly late thirties to have my first child?
The second option makes the most sense financially, while the first option makes the most sense biologically.
I don't know that there is ever a perfect age but I do feel to express that you shouldn't have a baby for your boyfriend. It would be understandable if you said you were in your mid 30's and you both knew you wanted to spend your life together without marriage but as 2 individuals. A child is another life/person and you are that persons sol provider for at least 18 years if not more. You are 19, you should be doing what YOU want to do. Be selfish for a few years. You have one life...go live it for a while!! Have fun!! Do things you always dreamed of doing without being responsible or tied down!
People can throw around numbers all they want, but the only answer is when you are ready to have them. If you aren't sure, the answer is no. You can't change your mind and talk the child to Walmart and exchange it for a PS3. When you know you want kids, that the best age, regardless of how old you really are.
As others have stated, there is no magical age, just too young and too old. You have specific goals, and children come with a lot of responsibility. You seem responsible now, however you are still a dependent and by nature children come to us as dependents themselves.
You and your BF are not on the same page, and you are not even old enough to drink alcohol legally, rent a car without obscene charges, and technically you're still a teenager. Could you have children now? Absolutely. Will you likely have to put your education and career plans on hold? Absolutely.
You'll hear from plenty of folks here who have either gone down this path or have watched others do it (I've watched).
Personally, I'd focus on your health (including reproductive health), education, career; then, if you desire a child with a spouse, develop a relationship with someone who shares this desire. Take "age" out of the equation for now. Priorities often change in adulthood and parenthood. Give yourself the necessary time to allow these changes to occur organically instead of prematurely.
You have gotten a lot of good advice here. I would not worry about not having enough energy for a child when you are in your 30's. We adopted a baby with Down syndrome when I was 33 and I found the energy for that and working full-time. Become a dentist and then decide if you want children. Too often, some men see the baby as a way to tie you to them and limit your possibilities and then they get bored and move on. You have a good plan. You may outgrow this boyfriend as you pursue your education. Don't limit yourself. A baby is forever and a boyfriend can be very fleeting.
<img id="ums_img_tooltip" class="UMSRatingIcon">
Well, I openend my dating sites back up. Next time I see him I'll check them right in front of him and see what he says. I'll probably end up breaking up with him, he doesn't even seem to know how to apologize when he's in the wrong (different issue).
This is how the OP felt about this potential baby daddy just a few months ago!
Shae also states that she has 13 boyfriends from age 17 to 19.
i just found out that he's been cheating on me for the past 2 or 3 weeks. i am crushed. heartbroken. i can't stop crying and shaking. i don't know why he would do this to me. i tried so hard to be a good girlfriend. he wouldn't even apologize when i caught him. he just said "that's not cheating" then kept saying men are men and they're going to follow a pair of **** if they're flashed some. i feel so empty. i've never had anyone on valentines day and i guess i won't again this year. i dont think i'll ever find a decent guy. i just want to crawl in a hole and die. i cared about him so much.... why did he have to hurt me
Please, please, please do NOT have a baby now. A baby deserves two parents that are mature and caring and committed to each other. The two of you do not appear to be any of the above. A baby puts stress on a relationship; a baby will NOT cement a relationship.
Please, please, please do NOT have a baby now. A baby deserves two parents that are mature and caring and committed to each other. The two of you do not appear to be any of the above. A baby puts stress on a relationship; a baby will NOT cement a relationship.
I'm not with the same guy, someone entirely different and who treats me well.
I wasn't saying I would go and get pregnant now, but another year or 2 from now. This boyfriend is already talking about marriage, he seems like the real thing. A guy who actually doesn't just want to cheat and play the field just because he's young.
He doesn't have a decent job right now, and doesn't want to go to school. I already told him he'll have to find a better job or go to school for a better job if he wants me to have his baby. He says he's working on it, so until he actually does that, no babies will be happening. This is all just talk anyway, nothing concrete.
We see things differently and I'm just trying to meet somewhere in the middle. I'm more career focused, and he just wants a job that makes ends meet and to have a family.
There is a short supply of men who actually don't want kids, and I really, really like this guy. It makes me think maybe I shouldn't be so selfish focusing so much on a career and instead maybe focus more on a family.
Again, just talk. I'm not stupid enough to go get pregnant right this second. I just want to find a happy median in life.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
