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My kids are grown now but with my son I did a few times. It took a lot of misbehaving before it came to that. I am blessed as he is the kind of son that rarely required me to even raise my voice to him.
I found punishment to fit the crime more effective.
ex: I once caught him and a friend when he was 8 throwing rocks at each other and cars.
His punishment I made him go pick stones out of the garden. The garden was about 1/2 acre. LOL Never caught him doing it again. Later when he was 18 he told me that was the worst punishment ever. I asked worse than the belt?
He said the belt hurt but only for a little while. Those rocks took forever.
I am a nanny looking for work so I posted an ad. This one lady asked me if I would mind beating her kids with a switch if they got out of hand and that she would give me written permission. That is so wrong I wrote her back saying that no matter what the job or the pay I would never do that a child no less to kids that aren't even mine. I also, asked her what would make her ask someone she hadn't even met to do that? Is she crazy? You don't ask other people to beat your kids. I'm a mother of three and I would never ask somebody that. Just letting off some steam about this. Can't help but feel bad for her kids
I would give the e-mails to the Police and let them decide what to do about it. Think about this How would you feel if you were contacted by the police because of your correspondence with this person because they were investigating the deaths of the kids. Or abuse so bad the kids are in the hospital.
I am a CPS investigator and that allegation would be substantial risk of Physical injury. We investigate cases where people call and say that the parent stated they were going to beat the child....most of the time it is the parent letting off steam...but you would feel terrible if those children were being hit with a switch.
My mother was spanked with a switch when she was growing up. She grew up to be a wonderful person, the best mother anyone could ever ask for! I am her daughter in my 30's ( my mom is around 60) and my mom told me she would never hit me with a switch. She told me stories about the way she was disciplined and she never disciplined me or my sister that way! Needless to say I turned out great and have never had any problems or been in trouble.
If you dont want to report it yourself...If you send me a message with the info on it I will call it in myself.....It is all of our jobs to keep children safe!
A switch would not be something I would particularly advocate using, but there is no reason at all for it to be a police or CPS matter.
Not a single one of the kids I knew growing up who was spanked with a switch has subsequently told me, "you know, my childhood would've been so much better if the cops and CPS had dragged me out of my home."
A switch would not be something I would particularly advocate using, but there is no reason at all for it to be a police or CPS matter.
Not a single one of the kids I knew growing up who was spanked with a switch has subsequently told me, "you know, my childhood would've been so much better if the cops and CPS had dragged me out of my home."
Just because CPS might be involved would not mean that a child would be placed in custody.
Some people have negative feelings about CPS because they do not fully understand what we do. I am a Christian kind person and I have never treated anyone badly or made them feel bad about themselves..even people who abuse their children. I treat them all with respect and I help families and children that are abused. Never would anyone have "dragged" them out of the home and we always check with relatives if the children can not stay with their parents. I don't think in the past that CPS always checked for family members but now we are required to and there is check and balance system to make sure that we have.
Using a switch would be a CPS matter not a police matter. Even threatening to use a switch would be a CPS mattere. Police call in those referrals to CPS themselves.
Last edited by pamelaboop; 10-11-2007 at 05:50 PM..
Just because CPS might be involved would not mean that a child would be placed in custody.
Some people have negative feelings about CPS because they do not fully understand what we do. I am a Christian kind person and I have never treated anyone badly or made them feel bad about themselves..even people who abuse their children. I treat them all with respect and I help families and children that are abused. Never would anyone have "dragged" them out of the home and we always check with relatives if the children can not stay with their parents. I don't think in the past that CPS always checked for family members but now we are required to and there is check and balance system to make sure that we have.
Using a switch would be a CPS matter not a police matter. Even threatening to use a switch would be a CPS mattere. Police call in those referrals to CPS themselves.
With all due respect, Pamela, that is the type of person you are. Every CPS worker is not like you, quite frankly, 98% of the ones I've had contact with were just the opposite. Besides, it is not CPS's business if I choose to spank my child or not, that's my opinion. Your job is to investigate and deal with child abuse, unfortunately the govt has this opinion that any spanking/whipping constitutes child abuse.
Everyone use your common sense, if this woman was BEATING her children, BEATING, not spanking/whipping, BEATING/ABUSING, then I'm quite sure she wouldn't be having some Internet conversation with someone she doesn't even know, asking them to whip her children with a switch Most people who ACTUALLY physically abuse their children tend to keep and shelter their children within the confines of the home, so as not to draw outside attention. Most physical child abusers are not in search of a Nanny!
Just because CPS might be involved would not mean that a child would be placed in custody.
You mean you wouldn't place them in custody if they grovelled sufficiently and promise to stop disciplining their child the way they're comfortable with? How generous.
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Some people have negative feelings about CPS because they do not fully understand what we do. I am a Christian kind person and I have never treated anyone badly or made them feel bad about themselves.
I don't know that Christians are any more kind than anyone else, on average, so I don't know how that's relevant. People who actually abuse children (like abuse, as in broken bones, black eyes, cigarette burns, etc.) should feel a bit bad about themselves--that just means they have a conscience. But disciplining a child on the bottom, including with a switch, is not the same thing as abuse, no matter what any government bureau says about it.
You mean you wouldn't place them in custody if they grovelled sufficiently and promise to stop disciplining their child the way they're comfortable with? How generous.
I don't know that Christians are any more kind than anyone else, on average, so I don't know how that's relevant. People who actually abuse children (like abuse, as in broken bones, black eyes, cigarette burns, etc.) should feel a bit bad about themselves--that just means they have a conscience. But disciplining a child on the bottom, including with a switch, is not the same thing as abuse, no matter what any government bureau says about it.
Actually it is not the case worker who decides if children are removed from a person's home. A judge is the one who reads the petition and decides if the children are placed in custody. The judge has to sign the petition before any case manager can go and pick up the children from school or with law inforcement. If we go to the school to pick up the children we take the petition that was already approved by the judge. If we take law enforcement to the parent's home we have to show law enforcement the signed petition by the judge as well.
This process has the checks and balances...if I feel a child needs to be removed I have to convince my supervisor first who then goes to our legal department who then prepares the petition and takes it to the court. Then the Judge has to be convinced. Then there is hearing within 3 calendar days for the parents to come to court. If there is a case manager out there who has made up this "story' to remove these children then they will be sent home at that hearing.
For instance this week I took food to some families and assisted them in making sure that they have food in the future and that they know who to call to get help ( such as churches etc.). I took diapers to one family and formula and tomorrow I am going to help this new mother set up her mental health counseling. CPS workers help families and keep them together if at all possible.
I guess everyone has their own opinion about discipline.....but here if you leave a bruise or any marks on a child then that is not constituting discipline...that is abuse. If you hit a child with a belt and leave a mark or you use a switch (which mostly will probably leave a mark) then CPS is going to be involved.
And half of the people who say negative things about CPS would be the first ones on the news saying how terrible CPS is if something happened to these children this weekend...the same people who are saying how bad CPS workers are would be saying we dont do anything. But if we do something and try to keep children safe then we are terrible and make them grovel and destroy families.
Never in my post did I say that I would or would not make a family grovel to keep their children. I am sorry that you interpreted something I said to mean that. That is a terrible thing to say.
I guess everyone has their own opinion about discipline.....but here if you leave a bruise or any marks on a child then that is not constituting discipline...that is abuse. If you hit a child with a belt and leave a mark or you use a switch (which mostly will probably leave a mark) then CPS is going to be involved.
Well I'll tell you and I will tell any CPS worker, as I've told them in the past, if my child were to EVER EVER disrespect me or do anything to warrant a spanking/whipping or whatever you choose to call it. I WILL spank my child and you are right, more than likely a switch will leave a whep mark on her legs/buttocks because she is light skinned - you or nobody else will tell me how nor when to discipline my child. As I stated before there is a difference in child abuse and discipline; and IMO the government has gone to far, which is the reason that many children have absolutely no respect for authority. The schools are in dissarray, the homes are in disarray, the teachers have no control, parents have no control and these children have NO FEAR of anything. Why? Because they know that no one can touch them, there is ABSOLUTELY NO DISCIPLINE in place. While it is true that some have mental illnesses, but that's an entirely different thread.
Principles/Teachers/Clergy/Police = no power to the minds of these children. Put your hands on them, they scream CHILD ABUSE.
Yes CPS is needed for those parents who choose to lock their children in cages; the parent that starves their children; the parent that throws little Bobby around smacking him in the face; the parent who throws their child in the dryer; the parent that sexually abuses his/her child; the parent that is an addicted drug addict neglecting his/her children; the parent that leaves his/her child unattended; the parent that leaves his/her child in a sweltering hot car; the parent that doesn't make sure that his/her child gets an education, not a parent that chooses to use a switch/belt/hand as a menas of discipline for a disrespectful child.
BTW: I've dealt with CPS as I worked as a paralegal in family law. So I've had my many conversations with CPS workers (we called them DCFS).
Actually it is not the case worker who decides if children are removed from a person's home. A judge is the one who reads the petition and decides if the children are placed in custody.
Yes, but a judge obviously isn't going to sign a petition if you don't bring him one!
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This process has the checks and balances...if I feel a child needs to be removed I have to convince my supervisor first who then goes to our legal department who then prepares the petition and takes it to the court. Then the Judge has to be convinced.
I'm sure they need a ton of convincing. CPS gets its budget fixed according to how many kids are being placed, and federal money according to how soon they are adopted out. That's how the Wenatchee, Washington sex abuse fiasco came about--it was just a racket to shake the state down for money, from start to finish.
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I guess everyone has their own opinion about discipline.....but here if you leave a bruise or any marks on a child then that is not constituting discipline...that is abuse. If you hit a child with a belt and leave a mark or you use a switch (which mostly will probably leave a mark) then CPS is going to be involved.
Well, that's why CPS is about as popular as the bubonic plague.
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Never in my post did I say that I would or would not make a family grovel to keep their children. I am sorry that you interpreted something I said to mean that. That is a terrible thing to say.
So you don't make people grovel and you don't take kids unnecessarily. Well then take me through a hypothetical; you get sent out, and a mother has spanked her child with a switch. Let's say the child is 9 and was spanked for lying about homework. Let's say they have red marks on the backside and upper legs and a dime-size bruise on the thigh from struggling. The mother admits she spanked the kid. What do you do?
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Most people who ACTUALLY physically abuse their children tend to keep and shelter their children within the confines of the home, so as not to draw outside attention. Most physical child abusers are not in search of a Nanny!
