Toys Make My House a Mess (daycare, teenage, babies, wife)
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I get where you are going with your questions but her son has ADHD which is probably the biggest reason he's making these messes and no amount of rule making and consequences will sink in over night.
But breaking it down into steps is critical because telling an ADHDer to "clean up that mess" is way too abstract and will get you no where.
Why do you say that?
My youngest is ADHD and she cleans up after herself just fine. Sure it was a struggle at first when she was 3; but now, no big deal.
She knows if I have to clean, it gets thrown away, so she cleans; heck her room is always one of the cleanest (ie, no drinks on the bedside table, bed made, hamper closed, etc..) in the house.
My son has too many toys. Although we have culled them several times, he still has too many in a small space. He plays with toys he had when he was really young in new, creative ways.
Put most of it in the garage except maybe 25% and rotate them in and out.
Also train them to help you put them away.
If you let them they will leave it all over the house.
Thank you for all the suggestions. We do have the rule he must put them up before getting more out. He doesn't follow it. Consequence has been putting toys away for several weeks.
The ADHD thing does manifest itself in that, as someone stated, cleaning up is a struggle both because he can't break it down into small tasks and because he has a different brain. I can't speak for anyone else's child's ADHD but his is severe and medication helps a lot but doesn't teach good habits. I know that's our job. My husband and I do need to redouble our efforts on teaching the habit. I like the idea of picking up after or before an evening event such as tv.
Right now we have no garage and no extra room. Large amounts may have to go in my closet or something. We do need to go back to the token system we were doing where he had to earn electronics time. His DS or the Wii was about all that motivated him.
Thank you for the discussion and helping me with ideas. You have motivated me to stop expecting him to do this without lots and lots of guidance and supervision. And especially thanks to those who understand ADHD and know that it is a huge factor in this situation.
Also, I learned from my friend with 5 kids and a spotless house...every night BEFORE dinner the playroom/bedrooms need to be cleaned. Anything left out is given away (and I really do it!).
This. Pretty simple. ADHD or not this approach makes it black and white and easy to understand. Get rid of it if it remains on the floor.
Our 4 year old has no problem with this concept as long as we're consistent.
Also, sound like you have too many toys to begin with, especially for a kiddo with ADHD. I have a toddler and a 4 year old and I gave away half our stuff. As someone mentioned earlier, kids a century ago did just fine with hardly any toys and no TV.
This. Pretty simple. ADHD or not this approach makes it black and white and easy to understand. Get rid of it if it remains on the floor.
Our 4 year old has no problem with this concept as long as we're consistent.
Also, sound like you have too many toys to begin with, especially for a kiddo with ADHD. I have a toddler and a 4 year old and I gave away half our stuff. As someone mentioned earlier, kids a century ago did just fine with hardly any toys and no TV.
This. A bunch of small tasks might be problematic but a black and white "if it's out, it's gone" is very easy to understand as long as it's enforced every time.
Great suggestions. I totally agree that your son probably has too many toys right now. As you know, a mess can affect people with ADHD by making it even harder to focus because they are surrounded by "noise." One thing I'll add is that if your son has toys that you will hate parting with (expensive, unique, gift from Grandma, etc.), tuck those away before you start the "if it's out, it's gone" process.
Someone else (somebodynew?) has a technique where if she has to pick up the toys, they go in the "Saturday box." Kiddos don't get the box back until Saturday. That's an alternative once you go through a round or two of purging.
We do the whole organized bin thing, but the one thing that actually makes it all work is what others have mentioned, having a specific time to clean everything up. For us it's right before dinner and once the expectation has been built it goes pretty smoothly. We don't have any ADHD to deal with, but do have a 2 and 3 year old that make a good portion of the mess and mix multiple bins even though that is supposedly "verboten". To get through that, it does take some direction from us. I will hold one bin at a time and say, "OK, I need all the blocks" and they race to see who can pick up the most blocks. Then onto the next bin, etc. until it's all done.
Don't make exceptions for expensive toys. The money is already gone. The child doesn't understand or care about cost. It's left out......it's gone. Forever. It's hard for you to do, but it's a sure fire way to get the message across.
This might be a good time to tell grandmother or auntie that there are tooooo many toys and please don't give any more.
Don't make exceptions for expensive toys. The money is already gone. The child doesn't understand or care about cost. It's left out......it's gone. Forever. It's hard for you to do, but it's a sure fire way to get the message across.
This might be a good time to tell grandmother or auntie that there are tooooo many toys and please don't give any more.
That's why I put the "if" in there. I can't do it.
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I totally agree that your son probably has too many toys right now. As you know, a mess can affect people with ADHD by making it even harder to focus because they are surrounded by "noise." One thing I'll add is that if your son has toys that you will hate parting with (expensive, unique, gift from Grandma, etc.), tuck those away before you start the "if it's out, it's gone" process.
