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The other day I was walking my dog in the old neighberhood and I seen my High School friend's mother drive by and I have been thinking about her ever since.
My friend told me one time that she was married before she met his Dad. When she met his Dad he left both the husband and her one year old son. She basically had no contact with him or the father and acted like he never existed. It was all a big secret. I really didn't think twice about it then but now I realize just how heartless that is.
This woman really left an impression on me that has lasted my entire life. Both her and her husband were so unbeliviable "Cold". Her father was a wealthy doctor and her husband was a teacher and high school wrestling coach. They lived in the buetiful Victorian full of all these expensive antiques and they were considerd these great people in the comunity and everyone loved them but behind closed doors they were really hatefull and angry.
How can anyone especially a mother leave their child and then go and act like she is this perfect mother with a new family? I know a lot of guys do it and I think its just as wrong but its so rare to hear about a woman doing it. What do you think is going through a woman's head that would do something like this? It just seams so against nature and our society that there has to be something really wrong with her psychologically to do this.
I could only think that the child was lucky to have been left behind by this type of person who only has concern for meeting her own needs. I think you are really seeing much more of this happening with women now. If you know anything about narcissistic behavior, this would help you see where this cold person is coming from. You will never understand the behavior so don't try. Just accept that some people can only think of themselves, they are all that matters to them and they will eventually pay a price for that. Be happy for those they leave behind.
What do you think is going through a woman's head that would do something like this? It just seams so against nature and our society that there has to be something really wrong with her psychologically to do this.
I never had the chance to ask my mother why she left, but yes, I think the highlighted text above is it in a nutshell, no pun intended.
My mother married, had a son... and ran away with him, left him in a boarding house for a week in the "the big city" (Chicago) to run around and audition as a singer and model. His father went to the city and found him and took him home. My mother went back to their town several times trying to "kidnap" my brother, but the family always caught her and ran her off. She eventually married my father and had three children - I was the youngest. I grew up on stories of my mother's life where she was always the victim, always persecuted - nothing was ever said about her abandonment of my half-brother or the times she tried to kidnap him.
15 years ago my half-brother tracked me down. We were both very wary about each other; we both "knew things" about each other, none of which turned out to be true. We are now very close - far closer than my full brothers! - and talk all of the time. The different perspectives and the facts have at last brought him peace. He could never understand why his mother had left him, and of course schoolchildren and even family members can be very cruel.
When we first met, he would go on and on about how much he regretted not having a mother. Once he and I talked, long, heart-to-heart, and seriously, he realized that he was much better off without growing up in a house with a shrieking drama-queen whose only thoughts were always and ever about herself. We've actually joked about how much I envy him... My dear father was a long-suffering man, who made a rich life for my mother; he was locally famous, worked his way up from nothing into wealth and power, showered her with diamonds and furs and rich living - and she would purposefully humiliate him at every turn, in public with his powerful friends, to the point where he stopped taking her with him and left her alone to cheat on him and whine to other people about how abused and neglected she was.
Women who abandon their children rate about the same with me as pedophiles. Totally selfish and self-seeking, they should all be hung by nails through their private parts and left for dead. They only want children to enhance their own self-empowerment, and don't see them as people or human at all.
JMHO. (And yes I realize that if I got my wish, I wouldn't have been born!)
By the way, this was all 50 years ago. Human nature doesn't change.
Who knows? Maybe it was an act of desperation, her life or death decision. Maybe she was blackmailed into leaving a child behind. I personally could not do that but I try not to judge too harshly. I have a lot of experience with adoption. I admire the women who make the selfish decision to place a child for adoption thinking they are providing a better life. Perhaps a mother who leaves a young child behind is making that same decision.
My mother married, had a son... and ran away with him, left him in a boarding house for a week in the "the big city" (Chicago) to run around and audition as a singer and model. His father went to the city and found him and took him home. My mother went back to their town several times trying to "kidnap" my brother, but the family always caught her and ran her off. She eventually married my father and had three children - I was the youngest. I grew up on stories of my mother's life where she was always the victim, always persecuted - nothing was ever said about her abandonment of my half-brother or the times she tried to kidnap him.
15 years ago my half-brother tracked me down. We were both very wary about each other; we both "knew things" about each other, none of which turned out to be true. We are now very close - far closer than my full brothers! - and talk all of the time. The different perspectives and the facts have at last brought him peace. He could never understand why his mother had left him, and of course schoolchildren and even family members can be very cruel.
When we first met, he would go on and on about how much he regretted not having a mother. Once he and I talked, long, heart-to-heart, and seriously, he realized that he was much better off without growing up in a house with a shrieking drama-queen whose only thoughts were always and ever about herself. We've actually joked about how much I envy him... My dear father was a long-suffering man, who made a rich life for my mother; he was locally famous, worked his way up from nothing into wealth and power, showered her with diamonds and furs and rich living - and she would purposefully humiliate him at every turn, in public with his powerful friends, to the point where he stopped taking her with him and left her alone to cheat on him and whine to other people about how abused and neglected she was.
Women who abandon their children rate about the same with me as pedophiles. Totally selfish and self-seeking, they should all be hung by nails through their private parts and left for dead. They only want children to enhance their own self-empowerment, and don't see them as people or human at all.
JMHO. (And yes I realize that if I got my wish, I wouldn't have been born!)
By the way, this was all 50 years ago. Human nature doesn't change.
Living with all this hate and anger is not healthy. You obviously have your reasons to feel that way but it has obviously taken a huge toll on you and for so long. I wish you peace and forgiveness.
Living with all this hate and anger is not healthy. You obviously have your reasons to feel that way but it has obviously taken a huge toll on you and for so long. I wish you peace and forgiveness.
LOL I have no "hate and anger" - I have a quite happy life, have raised my own children and foster children in a loving, boisterous, and responsible home, and have been joyfully married for 29 years.
Don't make simplistic assumptions about one post you read, please.
She was what she was, and she hurt a lot of folks including my half-brother and my father - but she also taught me how I did not want to be. The facts remain, and pretending that it didn't happen doesn't make it go away. "Forgiveness", IMHO, is exactly why people like this can continue to perpetrate their pain on others - because everyone thinks it is a failing that can be forgiven and wiped away. Self-involved and selfish drama queens shouldn't be allowed to breed their own captive and helpless audience.
The forgiveness I wrote of is for you not for her. We never forget the horrible wrongs we have suffered but somewhere along the way for our own personal happiness and peace we need to try to forgive. I myself have struggled with that issue for many years but your post about nailing her and all the other graphic comments you wrote about made me think you were still harboring a tremendous amount of anger and hate. Of course forgiveness does not negate the horrible behavior. Nobody suggested that.
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