Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Because the title is asking about mothers in general and not the specific mother in the original post, I'm going to respond to that. I dont' understand why it is "acceptable" for men to leave their families/children but it is not for women. It is automatically assumed that the mother is emotionally disturbed or heartless. Maybe the father is just a better parent and the mother knows the child will be better off. Maybe the mother is in to drugs/alcohol/dangerous lifestyle. Maybe the mother just decided that she is not cut out to be a parent. Men leave all the time and it is often for selfish reasons yet that is accepted in our society.
Just because someone gives birth does not mean that they will be a good parent or should be a parent. Look at all the recent stories about mothers killing their children. Those children would have been better off if their mother's left them with someone else.
I could never leave my children, but I hate how there is such a double standard for this.
Unfortunetly a lot of men do walk out on their children. But in no way can you honestly say that it's acceptable in our society for fathers to abandon their children. Even if they don't have anything to do with their kids then they always are at least expected to help pay for them. Dead beat Dads aren't looked to highly upon by anyone. Fathers walking out on children might be common but not acceptable.
Why I assume that Mothers that walk out on their children are likely disturbed are because it just goes against science (Our Biology, What we know about psychology, etc). And society has enshrined motherhood to the point were it's become something completely unquestionable almost holy. For a mother to abandon a child is disgusting almost perverted. I can understand why a previous commenter compared them to child molesters. Look at the crap most mothers gladly go through for their children. Then to have one just walk away is unthinkable. In no point in a woman's like could she have ever gotten the message from society that abandoning their child was an option.
That being said I have nothing but respect for any woman that gives their child up for adoption as infants. I also understand that many times it is better that an older child be surrenderd for adoption. If parents get divorce I think its completely fine for the children to go live with their fathers but it's not OK for the Mother to stop being involved in their childrens lives.
Who knows? Maybe it was an act of desperation, her life or death decision. Maybe she was blackmailed into leaving a child behind. I personally could not do that but I try not to judge too harshly. I have a lot of experience with adoption. I admire the women who make the selfish decision to place a child for adoption thinking they are providing a better life. Perhaps a mother who leaves a young child behind is making that same decision.
Again who knows.
I agree adoption is usally a very selfless decicion especially when it is done when the child is an infant because a woman can ahave an abortion instead.
This woman's parents had a lot of money and I'm sure they gave her a lot of money because no way could any school teacher afford to live they we they lived. I'm sure she had options and she wasn't some desperate woman with no place to turn if she was being abused.
If the husband was horrible and/or abusive then that is all the more reason why she should never have left the baby with him. Just say that she thought he would kill her if she took the baby then I think most woman still take their child even if it ment going into hiding and living in poverty for the rest of their lives. The child can't protect himself the Mother has to protect both of them.
Sounds like the husband and child lucked out to not have to live with this heartless C. I hope they live long and prosper. She will have the karma she deserves....pity!
The other day I was walking my dog in the old neighberhood and I seen my High School friend's mother drive by and I have been thinking about her ever since.
My friend told me one time that she was married before she met his Dad. When she met his Dad he left both the husband and her one year old son. She basically had no contact with him or the father and acted like he never existed. It was all a big secret. I really didn't think twice about it then but now I realize just how heartless that is.
This woman really left an impression on me that has lasted my entire life. Both her and her husband were so unbeliviable "Cold". Her father was a wealthy doctor and her husband was a teacher and high school wrestling coach. They lived in the buetiful Victorian full of all these expensive antiques and they were considerd these great people in the comunity and everyone loved them but behind closed doors they were really hatefull and angry.
How can anyone especially a mother leave their child and then go and act like she is this perfect mother with a new family? I know a lot of guys do it and I think its just as wrong but its so rare to hear about a woman doing it. What do you think is going through a woman's head that would do something like this? It just seams so against nature and our society that there has to be something really wrong with her psychologically to do this.
I always wondered that myself. I'll tell you one thing; if men walking out on families was stigmatized as much as women walking out on families, there'd probably be a lot less of it.
Unfortunetly a lot of men do walk out on their children. But in no way can you honestly say that it's acceptable in our society for fathers to abandon their children. Even if they don't have anything to do with their kids then they always are at least expected to help pay for them. Dead beat Dads aren't looked to highly upon by anyone. Fathers walking out on children might be common but not acceptable.
Why I assume that Mothers that walk out on their children are likely disturbed are because it just goes against science (Our Biology, What we know about psychology, etc). And society has enshrined motherhood to the point were it's become something completely unquestionable almost holy. For a mother to abandon a child is disgusting almost perverted. I can understand why a previous commenter compared them to child molesters. Look at the crap most mothers gladly go through for their children. Then to have one just walk away is unthinkable. In no point in a woman's like could she have ever gotten the message from society that abandoning their child was an option.
That being said I have nothing but respect for any woman that gives their child up for adoption as infants. I also understand that many times it is better that an older child be surrenderd for adoption. If parents get divorce I think its completely fine for the children to go live with their fathers but it's not OK for the Mother to stop being involved in their childrens lives.
Men leaving their children is acceptable in our society. I did not say they were looked highly upon but no one bats an eye if the dad walks out on the family and starts a new family. If a mother does the same then people like you post statements like you have. It's total ignorance on your part. You don't know everyone's story and you never will, so why judge all mothers as a whole.
Not every woman in the world has motherly instincts. Some have children and just do not bond with them the way they should. This does not mean that the woman is disturbed. I agree with with you when you say society looks upon motherhood as almost holy. That is part of the problem. There shouldn't be such a difference in the expectations of mothers and fathers. I think fathers should be held to the same standards as mothers.
My cousin's husband's mother left him and his brother when they were small, around five and six. She had an affair with a neighbor, then left her husband and two young boys and moved out west somewhere (not with the married neighbor, who stayed with his wife and family.)
"Bill" was eventually adopted by his aunt (mother's sister) and his brother was adopted by his uncle (mother's brother). I don't know what happened to his real father. Anyway, he's now in his late 40's, and after his adoptive mother died a few years ago, he looked up and contacted his original mother. She was remarried and had raised five other kids. Wanted absolutely nothing to do with her two older sons, and let him know that.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
