Are you a good parent? (activities, learning, high school, mother)
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Jasper- and the funny thing is, those people were upper middle class- dad was an educated man, a judge actually. More proof that sure, having two well-educated parents may give you an edge, but if those two parents are dysfunctional, abusive, etc., you can forgot about that edge...
I wish I could've looked into the crystal ball that would've told me my husband was going to pass away, leaving me to raise my young children. Of course I would do anything for him to be alive... but my children's lives aren't doomed forever because they don't have a father... in fact, DS16 was inducted into her school's very, very selective NHS (must have 3.75+ GPA, 100 hours of community service, involvement, etc)...
Statistically I agree with you. But it isn't the mere fact that 2 people are married and middle class that causes the kids to do well. It is what 2 married middle class parents are likely to DO for their kids that helps them succeed. That's my point. They are more likely to be involved, yes. But it is the involvement, not the demographics that makes the difference.
Actually, demographics, all by itself, does make a difference. That's why research corrects for demographics. If it were other things that tracked with demographics, they'd correct for those. Like it or not, success breeds success. Take two kids, one born into a middle class family and one into a lower class family and have the parents do the same things and the one who grows up middle class still has better odds. One of the things that SES determines is peers and peers are a strong influence. Lower class children who succeed in life are beating the odds. Middle class children who succeed in life are going with the odds. That middle class families do more for their kids is part of the package but some of the difference is found in the quality of their peers and their overall quality of life.
Jasper- and the funny thing is, those people were upper middle class- dad was an educated man, a judge actually. More proof that sure, having two well-educated parents may give you an edge, but if those two parents are dysfunctional, abusive, etc., you can forgot about that edge...
I wish I could've looked into the crystal ball that would've told me my husband was going to pass away, leaving me to raise my young children. Of course I would do anything for him to be alive... but my children's lives aren't doomed forever because they don't have a father... in fact, DS16 was inducted into her school's very, very selective NHS (must have 3.75+ GPA, 100 hours of community service, involvement, etc)...
Actually, having a father pass away is different than divorce or your parents never being married. It doesn't have the same impact. For example, girls whose fathers pass away do not have higher rates of promiscuity like girls whose parents are divorced. Death is perceived differently by children. Children of divorce or whose parents never married have parents who coudln't make their relationship work. There's a dysfunction there that impacts the children negatively.
Where is the "barf" symbol? How many times does it have to be said, coming from a "broken' home, is better than living in one that has two dysfunctional parents.
I am a single Mom. Have been for over 15 years. Did not plan on it. But life happens, being a single parent does not equal to being a bad parent. Any more than being married makes you a "good" parent. Nor does being poor make you a "bad" parent, any more than being rich makes you a good parent. When I was a single Mom, with 4 kids, teaching school, I qualified for food stamps. Yet, I have four great kids, two college grads, one Army E-6, and another in college now.
I watched a You Tube video the other day, of two married parents, beating their 16 year old daughter with belts. I watched this with my 19 y.o. DD. It was crazy! What is with parents like that?! My daughter and I could not believe it. Sure, she was annoying as a teen, but I never whipped her with a belt!!!
A good parent is happy, and mentally well adjusted. I am almost there...but I am a much better parent than those psycho people who were whipping their 16 year old daughter, that is for sure.
Sorry, research supports that children from broken homes are at the disadvantage. Parents propegate the idea that it's better to divorce because they get what they want. A far better alternative is for the parents to agree to be civil for the children's sake. That is an option. Adults can agree to get along. Why they don't is beyond me.
No one has ever said staying in an abusive relationship is better than divorce. However, most divorces don't happen because of abuse. Most happen because one party just isn't happy any more.
Being a good parent, and being married are not mutually exclusive. A person can be single and a good parent. And a person can be married, in a high SES, with a college education and be a bad parent.
And just because you are a good parent, does not mean your child is or is not sexually active. Many studies regarding promiscuity and teen girls were already skewed, based on the populations studied, and the flaws in the hypothesis. Studies can be manipulated based on politics and even the statistical measurement used. I did a study recently with a doctor, and we applied a Spearman to the numbers, it made the "numbers" look statistically significant for coorelation, when in fact, there is no real statistical significance or coorelation. We could manipulate the findings anyway we want. So, please, don't cite "research" to me.
Actually, demographics, all by itself, does make a difference. That's why research corrects for demographics. If it were other things that tracked with demographics, they'd correct for those. Like it or not, success breeds success. Take two kids, one born into a middle class family and one into a lower class family and have the parents do the same things and the one who grows up middle class still has better odds. One of the things that SES determines is peers and peers are a strong influence. Lower class children who succeed in life are beating the odds. Middle class children who succeed in life are going with the odds. That middle class families do more for their kids is part of the package but some of the difference is found in the quality of their peers and their overall quality of life.
success breeds success because successful people work hard, study hard, and set that example for their kids. Peers are one factor, but far from the only factor.
How about a lower/lower-middle class family that wins the lottery. They move to a nice suburb, put their kids in good schools, and sit back and do nothing. They don't work, they don't pay attention to what's going on in school. Their kids might have a desirable peer group, and married paretns but the example their parents set shows that sitting back and doing nothing makes you rich. Good outcome?
Actually, demographics, all by itself, does make a difference. That's why research corrects for demographics. If it were other things that tracked with demographics, they'd correct for those. Like it or not, success breeds success. Take two kids, one born into a middle class family and one into a lower class family and have the parents do the same things and the one who grows up middle class still has better odds.
I wouldn't define middle class as success. It's okay but it's not all that. Most middle class aren't sitting around patting themselves on the back for their achievement. After all, most of them came from middle class families. Those with lower class backgrounds are more likely to consider achieving middle class as a success.
Parents can tip the scales one way or another. Just as lower class children can beat the odds, middle class children can fail. Lower class parents can improve the odds by doing more than middle class parents. Middle class parents can destroy their children's futures by not doing enough. Anomalies go both ways. The differences are usually in what the parents DO.
Being a good parent, and being married are not mutually exclusive. A person can be single and a good parent. And a person can be married, in a high SES, with a college education and be a bad parent.
And just because you are a good parent, does not mean your child is or is not sexually active. Many studies regarding promiscuity and teen girls were already skewed, based on the populations studied, and the flaws in the hypothesis. Studies can be manipulated based on politics and even the statistical measurement used. I did a study recently with a doctor, and we applied a Spearman to the numbers, it made the "numbers" look statistically significant for coorelation, when in fact, there is no real statistical significance or coorelation. We could manipulate the findings anyway we want. So, please, don't cite "research" to me.
I'm speaking statistically. Kids will do all sorts of things in every demographic group. Nothing is a guarantee. Kids just have better odds coming from two parent middle class homes. Kids will succeed from lower class single parent homes and kids will fail to thrive who came from middle class two parent homes. It's just the percentages that change as you move to different demographics.
SES is one thing we know matters any way you slice it. It matters so much that it's rarely not corrected for in studies. It's to the point it's common knowledge that SES matters. We also have a plethora of research on the negative impact of growing up in a single parent household (defined as having divorced parents or parent who never married. Death of a parent does not produce the same results.). Yes, inividual milage may vary but, on average kids will fare better if they grow up in a a two parent middle class household. That's just the way it is.
I wouldn't define middle class as success. It's okay but it's not all that. Most middle class aren't sitting around patting themselves on the back for their achievement. After all, most of them came from middle class families. Those with lower class backgrounds are more likely to consider achieving middle class as a success.
Parents can tip the scales one way or another. Just as lower class children can beat the odds, middle class children can fail. Lower class parents can improve the odds by doing more than middle class parents. Middle class parents can destroy their children's futures by not doing enough. Anomalies go both ways. The differences are usually in what the parents DO.
There's a certain level of success. Middle class is where you're able to meet your children's needs with, reasonable, hope that they will go on to continue their education and experience some degree of success themselves.
Yes, there are anomalies either way. Did anyone here say there weren't? You'll just see more successful kids in the higher SES and in two parent households. Odds are in their favor. That's all anyone is talking about here. The odds.
Yes, parents tip the scales and they do so with things like raising their kids in a two parent household and being able to meet their children's needs and having their children grow up in a better area... These are the things they do TO tip those scales.
success breeds success because successful people work hard, study hard, and set that example for their kids. Peers are one factor, but far from the only factor.
How about a lower/lower-middle class family that wins the lottery. They move to a nice suburb, put their kids in good schools, and sit back and do nothing. They don't work, they don't pay attention to what's going on in school. Their kids might have a desirable peer group, and married paretns but the example their parents set shows that sitting back and doing nothing makes you rich. Good outcome?
By middle school, peers are becomming a stronger influence than parents.
You do realize that most lottery winners really screw up their lives, right? There's a difference between working your way into the middle class and buying a winning lotto ticket. SES is about more than money. It's about the things that made you successful in the first place.
Most of the kids I teach are on a fast track to success because their parents are successful.
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