I don't WANT to share my leftovers (boys, children, husband)
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Here's how it goes in my little family - anything in the fridge is fair game, unless I'm keeping it especially to make something, like strawberries for ice cream. Everything that's bought home from a restaurant is available to be eaten, BUT, if you're going to eat the whole thing, like the last two pieces of brought home pizza, you ask if anyone wants to share it with you before you polish it off.
So you would go to the fridge and announce that you are planning on eating the last two pieces of pizza and would anyone like to have any before it's gone. Just in case someone had their heart set on it and you weren't aware. Then if they want it too, you share it.
We don't just take what we want without either leaving some or asking if it's ok, and if someone does happen to eat the last piece we get over it and don't sulk about and act like martyrs. Martyrdom is not a recognized state around here.
I hate to be blunt, but your family has disfunction that cannot be solved online. From your posts, everyone in the household contributes to the disfunction. Until y'all want a functional family and are willing to work for it, y'all are doomed to the merry-go-round that is your homelife.
BTW, it is not petty to want your own leftovers, it is petty to leave any left overs on the table just so your kids can't have them.
Rep times 100 for this post - you've said it all right here!
Two things trouble me about this post. Firstly my children respect me (at least now) and would not take anything of mine without asking, and I would not take anything of theirs. More importantly, it is very rare to find parents that don't choose to put their children first, often to a fault. If my children even hinted that they wanted my food, I'm sure I would give it to them. Isn't that what most parents do?
I think I understand what Zimbochick is saying, regarding most parents.
The real issue of course, is that it sounds as if these kids have no manners, and little empathy for others. As to why that is, I'm not going to speculate.
It seems as if that is at the root of most of the OP's problems with these kids. That and an underlying "poor me" tone that does not inspire respect from others in the first place.
Who's the parent and who's the child? No means no! You shouldn't have to freeze your leftovers or only order an appetizer. If it's something you truly want later, than tell your kids it's off limits to them and offer something else for them. Do you think maybe your kids are eating your leftovers just to get on your nerves because they know it upsets you and they know they can get away w/ it? It sounds like a total control issue, and you're on the loosing end.
It is more about respect than food. And a subtle passive aggressive issue that the OP has. I am not passive aggressive towards my kids, I think that is the issue most of us have with this whole dynamic.
I am so lucky to have my youngest son, he is "chef extra" he can whip up a gourmet meal with pasta, bacon, cheese, and green onions that is to die for. He adds olives, sun dried tomatoes, artichokes..whatever there is...he does not even eat leftovers, he is far too fussy for that. He is my private chef, I was sad when he moved out...
The problem is not so much that you want to save the leftovers for yourself (reasonable), the problem is that instead of addressing this like the mom, you are behaving like a passive-aggressive child, and that does not command the respect of anyone, least of all your own children. A good mom does not triumph in a moment of satisfaction and say "hee hee" when her hungry kids don't find anything in the fridge. A good mom does not leave leftovers to go to waste on the table just so she can grin at her hungry teenagers later and stick her tongue out like a little brat. That's what you should feel guilty about, not the fact that you eat slowly.
Address this like the mom. You tell them you are saving this for later and want it. If they refuse to honor your request, you hand out reasonable consequences appropriately. But if instead of acting like an adult, you choose to play petty games, ordering only an appetizer so you can smirk at them when they're hungry and empty handed later? Well, that right there is your answer. If you act like a conniving little child yourself, it's no wonder that no one respects you as an authority figure in the household. You've done nothing that deserves respect.
Typical Marylee post, who's the parent you or your *awfulawfulawful* children
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